Tsubaki no Seikatsu
by xKanonymous
Summary: Ever since she was a little girl, Amu Hinamori had always loved flowers. Now fifteen years old, she works in a flower shop on the outskirts of Seiyo. She thinks she has no secrets to hide. Falling in love proves her wrong. Amuto.
1. Visitor

**A/N: Hey, it's Kanon. I'm getting back into the writing game again... it's been a while since I last posting anything that I wrote _myself_, but now I have a new reason to write. This is my first Amuto story ever, and I didn't want it to be cliche, so it took a while for me to finally hammer out the final version of this chapter. Hopefully, you guys like it; I worked really hard on it.**

**I got the idea for this while eating strawberries, watching Kanae Ito's new anime gig, _Hanasaku Iroha_. Then, I was further pointed towards the idea after reading my favorite Amuto story, _Before the Storm_, which I'm still trying to finish. **

**I don't own anything except for the idea, so please don't steal it. **

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_**.**

**Chapter One... **_Raikyaku: Visitor_

**Tags: **_tsubaki, camellias, flower shop, strawberries, cooler, grandpa._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

The breeze was assuring.

On a summer weekend in Seiyo, it was awfully busy outside. Children ran and played with each other, adults talked on the phone as they hurried by, and young lovers walked hand in hand. The conversations that floated around were like deafening whispers, meaning nothing and everything at the same time.

For the girl who was by herself that day, they seemed simple… and happy. Her name was Hinamori Amu, and for the fleeting moments that passed, she was happy too. She sat in a quiet shop, whistling to herself from behind the counter, her feet resting on the bars of the blue stool she sat on. This time of day, the store was illuminated by the sun through the display windows, and it was her favorite time to watch the people outside of the shop, listening to all the hustle and the bustle of the weekend. Smiling, she reached into the bowl by her elbow, fishing out a ripe strawberry for herself. Technically, she wasn't supposed to be eating in the shop, but who would stop her? She was watching the store alone today, while the owner was out for a meeting. It was a big thing for her, being only fifteen-years-old.

"Amu-chan!"

She looked up, searching for the one who had called her name. Without much searching, her eyes rested on Mr. Hanagami, who stood by one of the flower displays in the window. Amu smiled; out of all the people who came into the shop on weekends, Mr. Hanagami was her favorite. "Coming," she said to him as she slid off of the stool, working her way around the counter to get to him.

Amu had been working in Hana No Kokoro, the flower shop, since the beginning of the summer, and she pretty much had it all down by now. She knew every flower's name, symbolism, and life span… she could tell you everything you needed to know. And if anybody wanted to buy flowers in Seiyo, they came to Hana No Kokoro.

Old Mr. Hanagami was a regular there, always buying flowers for his daughter. Amu was forever there to help him too, giving him advice about the type of flowers she might like. So today she assumed it would be no different.

"Hi, Hanagami-san," she waved, coming up to the front of the shop by the windows. "What can I do for you today?"

Mr. Hanagami scratched the back of his bald head shyly. "I'm looking for flowers for my daughter."

"What's the occasion?" Amu asked.

"She just had a son. I'm a grandpa." He chuckled, as if he didn't believe it, and then gestured to the flower arrangements in the window display. "I thought one of these would do."

Amu's face brightened as she clasped her hands together. This was the most exciting news she'd heard all week. "Congratulation, Hanagami-san!"

"Thank you."

With a happy sigh, Amu turned towards the flower arrangements. Usually, costumers weren't allowed to take arrangements right off the display, but this was a special occasion. She wouldn't make Mr. Hanagami wait a whole day for her to prepare a similar arrangement.

First, there was an arrangement constructed of red camellias, cactus flowers, and forget-me-nots; this distinct combination was usually used for honeymoons. The next, full of red spider lilies and bluebells, was often times seen on grave, and it symbolized lost loves and happy memories. But finally, Amu found the perfect arrangement. Reaching into the window, she picked up the vase it was being held in, a goofy grin on her face.

"I think this is the perfect one," she explained. "It has Irises, which are kinda like saying 'good luck' to someone, and poppies, which are flowers you usually use when celebrating something."

"That sounds just about right," Mr. Hanagami said. "How much?"

"Three thousand yen. Come to the back and I'll ring you up," Amu jerked her head in the direction of the counter, turning and carrying the flowers while Mr. Hanagami followed her. Gently, she put the vase on the counter, as if she were afraid it would sink right through.

There was a comfortable silence between them two as Amu hopped back up onto her blue stool. One of the many misnomers about the Japanese is that if they're quiet around you, that means they no loner want to talk to you or they're uncomfortable with the conversation. Really, silence is one of the ways they communicate the most. Quietness enables them to think about everything that'd been said. And saying so, the thick hush that had fallen between Amu and Mr. Hanagami was a happy hush.

"Here you go," he fished through his wallet, pulling out a two thousand yen bill and a one thousand yen bill. He always gave Amu the exact amount, which took the fun out of her giving him his change, but she didn't mind.

Just then, another costumer walked into the store. One that Amu had never seen before. He was either an older teenager or a young man, as far as she could tell. And he didn't look like he was in any sort of hurry, as he checked out all the different things the store had to offer.

Amu blinked, realizing that Mr. Hanagami was holding out his money towards her. Shaking her head, she pressed the button on the cash register, making the money tray pop out with the _cha-ching_ sound that always made her jump. "Thanks, Hanagami-san," she smiled, taking the cash and putting it into the cashier. "Tell your daughter I said congratulations!"

"I will," he took the vase of flowers, blushing bashfully. Amu grabbed another strawberry out of her bowl, peeling off the green leaf on top before sticking it into her mouth. Her eyes followed Mr. Hanagami as she watched him leave the shop, turning the corner and walking away.

Now it was time to tend to her other, newer costumer. Meanwhile he was paging through the flower directory on the table, which stood in the center of the shop.

"How can I help you?" She asked loudly, making the boy/man jump.

He straightened up, obviously composing himself. "Uh… I was looking for a white camellia?"

Amu blinked. "Just one?"

"Just one," he nodded. "You have 'em?"

"Yeah," she said cheerfully, putting a finger up. "One second."

He nodded again as she disappeared into the back room, searching for the flower that she wasn't quite sure they _did _have, contrary to what she'd told him. White camellias symbolized waiting, and usually waiting for one's lover. She wondered if the guy out there had a girl he liked. Finally, as she thought this, she arrived at the vegetable cooler, that (oddly enough) never had vegetables in it. They used it here in the shop to store flowers they weren't quite using yet, and they ordered them in alphabetical order too. So if Amu was going to find a white camellia, it was going to be in here.

Awkwardly, she stepped into the cooler, shuddering at the chill that overcame her. Shelf by shelf she began to go down the alphabetical list, searching for the flower that the boy had asked for.

_Ambrosia, bluebell, cactus flower, camellia red, camellia yellow…_

There it was. Lying in all their beauty, a bunch of white camellias were grouped together between the red ones and the yellow ones. Amu quickly grabbed one and left the vegetable/flower cooler, sighing in relief at how warm it was outside. On her way back up to the counter, she grabbed a small glass vase, a little container of purple pebbles, and a pair of scissors. When she arrived back up front, she saw the boy at the counter waiting for her.

"Hey," he said to her, stopping her in her tracks.

Amu was taken aback. Up close, this guy was breath-taking. And not because he was good looking, even though he kinda was. But because there was just so much in those dark eyes, Amu thought that he had seen much more than she would in her entire lifetime. But she quickly dismissed it, setting down everything she had in her hands.

"So," she said, keeping her eyes on what she was doing. She carefully opened the container of purple pebbles and poured them into the small vase. "If you don't mind me asking, who are these for?"

"A girl I used to know," the boy answered, shrugging. He ran a hand through his dark blue hair, as if the memory of this girl was upsetting. "Why?"

Amu chuckled, picking up the vase and walking over to the sink that ran against the length of the wall. "I've been working here for a while. After a certain amount of time, just _preparing_ the flowers gets too easy. You have to know why." For a moment, as she filled the vase with water, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. Her rose pink hair was pulled back into a little ponytail, and her amber eyes were large and round. Suddenly discouraged, Amu shook off the feeling of misplacement and headed back over to the counter.

"Sounds believable," the boy replied. "… so why do you work here, in this part of Seiyo?"

Amu shrugged. She was surprised how easy it was to talk to this guy. "Flowers are all I really know about, I guess. I'm Amu, by the way."

"Ikuto," he returned his name, watching her cut the stem of the camellia on an angle, and then drop it into the vase.

"One thousand yen." She pushed the vase towards him. Usually, she hated talking about herself. Once again, she pressed the button on the cashier, popping the money tray out and making them _both _jump. She noticed that he was really easy to startle.

"Thanks, Amu," he handed her a folded thousand yen bill, straight from the pocket of his faded jeans. Amu smiled and took the money, ignoring how easily he inserted her name, without an honorific too.

"Your welcome, come again."

And then he took his white camellia and left.

He was gone, quick as he came. There was no fading away, or echoing of his voice, or even any remnant of his being there. Just the sound of the breeze as it wafted through the open door, reminding her of his absence. And it was just the same as it was in the beginning; children ran and played with each other, adults talked on the phone as they hurried by, and young lovers walked hand in hand. The conversations that floated around were like deafening whispers, meaning nothing and everything at the same time.

Amu sighed, picking another strawberry from her bowl.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>AN: So, what did you think? I know there're probably a lot of mistakes, and my writing's not that great, but I'm getting better. So here are a few things I wanted to clear up about this story, which you need to read before you review, or even if you don't review, just read...**

**I bet you're wondering why flowers in this story are so expensive. Well, in Japan, flowers and very sacred and very precise, so buying them is very ceremonial. They're considered very important, which is what makes them more pricey than other things.**

**And you're also probably wondering why Amu is fifteen and working. The legal working age in Japan is fifteen, and anything below that, you have to have a working visa, which is a pain to get. So most kids wait until they're about fifteen and a half before they even think about getting a job. **

**Now that we have that aside, if you have any questions, feel free to ask. I always answer them. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope this lived up to your expectations of me. I know I haven't written anything in a while, and I'm sorry for that. But I hope this makes up for it.**

**-Kanon ;D**


	2. Mesmerizing

**A/N: Thanks for your reviews, you guys. Even though there's only three, they really motivated me to write more. I'm so happy you guys like it, and I hope this'll turn out to be one of those more famous Amuto stories. And not because I want the fame, either. But because I think this is a more original-type story, and I want people to be able to read it even when it's not at the top of the 'recently updated' list.**

**... And now, I shall await for that glorious day when someone tries to copy one of my stories. Then, I'll be satisfied.**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Two... **_Miwaku-tekina: Mesmerizing_

**Tags: **_coffee, hospital, friends, enemies, apology, candy-striper, ring._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

The sky was a mesmerizing blue.

Amu felt as if she were falling into it, as she stood on the sidewalk, her head titled towards the clouds. It was the perfect day, she'd decided, and she didn't want to spend it alone. Her best friend, Mashiro Rima, worked as a volunteer at the hospital in the center of the city, meaning that she didn't get off of work until five o' clock on the weekends. They'd planned to meet up at the coffee shop halfway between their jobs, so Amu was going to be going it alone until Rima got there. Right then, her watch read _4:45pm_.

Right then, she felt as if she were the only person in the world who still wore a watch.

Ignoring it, Amu tore her eyes away from the sky, now staring at the door to the coffee shop she stood outside of. Without another thought, she pushed open the door, letting the cool air from inside surround her. She loved hanging out here; there were usually a lot of people around during lunch time, but in the afternoon/evening, it was pretty quiet. Amu liked quiet.

Now there was an old man sitting down a table, the whipped cream from his drink rubbing off on his mustache, a middle-aged woman reading the newspaper and eating a cinnamon bun, and a young woman with a stroller, rocking her sleeping baby in her arms. She couldn't have been too much older than Amu.

Then there was a young man, wearing a comfortable blue employee shirt with the coffee shop's logo on it, and khakis. He was wiping off one of the tables, pushing the chairs back in. Finally, he straightened up, sighing.

Amu smiled; she knew that sigh.

"Kukai-nii!" she exclaimed, running towards the boy. She stopped right in front of him, reaching high up to ruffle his light brown curls.

He, obviously surprised to see her, mussed her pink locks right back. "Hinamori, what're you doing here?"

"Rima-chan said this is where she wanted to meet up," Amu replied, her voice dripping with excitement. "I didn't know you worked here!"

Kukai shrugged shamelessly. "My parents are back, and they're making me get a job."

"You could've told me!" Amu crossed her arms, pouting.

"What's there to tell?" Kukai complained, throwing his rag over his shoulder. "This is so _boring_. Whatever you're doing this summer has to be ten times more interesting."

"I'm working in a flower shop," she replied, trying him.

He made a face. "Never mind that. You here to get some coffee?"

"No, I don't drink," she said wittingly, pulling out one of the chairs at the table they were standing by. "I'll sit here and wait for Rima-chan."

"I _just _cleaned that one!" Kukai whined.

"Get over it." Amu sat down with a grin.

Kukai ran a hand through his hair, smoothing out all the ruffling Amu had done to it. "You know, for someone who works in a flower shop, you're pretty-" Before he could finish his sentence, the two were interrupted by some arguing costumers coming in through the doors. Amu and Kukai didn't even have to look to see who they were; they knew.

These were the unmistakable shouts of Mashiro Rima and Fujisaki Nagihiko, ultimate rivals and best friends. No one could touch what they had; the ability to say the worst things to each other one day, and then go and get parfaits the next day (then end up fighting about the parfaits). No one could ever come between them... except for themselves.

Now, as they both walked in, they were wearing their hospital scrubs, all red and white (the worst part about being a candy-striper). They volunteered at the hospital together, partly because they're competing in their pre-med courses, so they could've spent all day arguing, but did they? No. They waited until they got to the coffee shop to start fighting. Typical of them.

"I don't remember saying any of that!" Rima was now shouting.

This statement seemed to blow Nagihiko's mind. "Of course you don't, Rima-chan! Of course you don't. But I bet you sixty bucks everybody in the IC unit remembers!"

"That's stretching it!"

"That's not the problem here."

"Then what is?"

"You're CRAZY!"

Amu quickly stood up from her seat, trying her best to defuse the situation. "Um, guys? Hey."

"Hey, Amu-chan," Rima mumbled, her voice hitting a less-than-happy pitch. You could practically see steam rolling from her ears as she threw her folder onto the table, placing her purse on the back of the chair. With a sigh, she plopped down into the seat.

"What's the matter?" Amu asked, genuinely concerned.

Nagihiko took a chair, spinning it around so that he could sit on it backwards. "She's mad at me," he said, sounding more sad than he should've.

"Why...?" Kukai raised an eyebrow.

Rima rapped on the table out of boredom. "He thinks I'm passive-aggressive."

Amu just blinked, while Kukai whistled. "Fujisaki," he said, chuckling. "I know nothing about women, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to do that."

"But it's true!" Nagihiko protested.

"We know," Amu and Kukai chorused.

"You should've seen what she did to the people in the Intensive Care," Nagihiko continued. "We almost got fired."

"Rima-chan!" Amu howled. "What did you do?"

"Can you get me a caramel frappé?" Rima ignored her, handing Kukai a ten dollar bill.

Kukai reluctantly took it, frowning. "Fine."

As he walked away, Amu decided not to press about the whole 'passive-aggressive' thing. If there was anything you didn't want to do, it was anger Mashiro Rima. You might not survive. The only person alive who'd perfected it was Nagihiko, but then again, it didn't seem like he was going to get out of this one so easily.

Amu didn't understand why they didn't just date and get it over with. I mean, it wasn't like they didn't like each other. That part was pretty obvious. And despite her viciousness, Rima was beautiful. She was a tiny for a fifteen-year-old, but she had long, curly, blonde hair, and amber eyes that were bright. Nagihiko was equally attractive, with that quirky violet hair of his, and the smirk that was always on his face.

Nagihiko was quick to change the subject under the glare he was getting from Rima. "So, instead of talking about _our _job, which seems to be out of the question right now, how about you, Amu-chan?"

"Yeah," Rima agreed. "What's going on down at _Hana no Kokoro_?"

Amu shrugged, folding both her hands on the table. When she caught a glimpse of the beautiful ring that rested on her fourth finger, she smiled.

"Amu-chan?"

Amu blinked, looking up at them. Apparently, she had gotten too distracted. "What? Oh, sorry. I guess... everything's fine at the shop."

"Just fine?" Nagi raised an eyebrow.

"It's a _flower shop_," she reminded him, chuckling.

Rima nodded. "Fair enough. Did you get any interesting costumers, or anything?"

Amu shrugged. "Not really. There was this one guy, though..."

Rima and Nagi exchanged looks. They'd known Amu since elementary school, and never _ever _had she been one to bring up the subject of boys. After ten years they couldn't help but be interested.

"... Continue..." Nagihiko prompted.

"It's not really that big of a deal," Amu back-tracked, almost blushing. "He was just... he bought a white camellia."

"Oh," Rima said quietly. She didn't know as much about flowers as Amu did, but _everybody _knew what those kind of flowers symbolized. It was in movies all the time. "He's taken, then."

Amu blushed even darker now, looking downward. "Th-That was hardly even the point."

"You don't know that," Rima challenged. "What was his name?"

"I don't remember," Amu admitted, looking down at her ring again. It was so beautiful, she thought to herself.

Before the conversation could go any further, Kukai walked back over to the table, a tray in his hands. Setting it down on their table, Amu saw that he'd gotten Rima's caramel frappé, along with two coffees. One he gave to Nagihiko.

Amu wrinkled her nose. "Oh, Kukai-nii. You know I don't drink coffee."

Kukai gave her a funny expression, pulling up a chair from a nearby table. "This isn't for you, Hinamori," he informed her, sitting down and taking the third coffee for himself. "Mashiro, I'm keeping your change."

"Hey!" Rima complained. "That's stealing unless I say you can."

"Yes, it is," he agreed, taking a sip out of his cup.

Amu couldn't stand it. The smell of that thick, black nothingness which resided in their mugs. It made her sad. Her mother used to drink coffee...

"Hey, Souma," Nagihiko said, chuckling. "You're not gonna believe what Rima-chan did today at work...!"

"Don't tell him!" Rima glared.

"Why not?"

"I'm gonna pour this frappé on you..."

"Try it."

Amu shook her head, smiling. "You guys..."

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>AN: So, what'd you think? I know, pretty boring for a second chapter, but I'm trying to build up to something (hopefully, you guys'll get that something's coming, and you won't stop reading...). Maybe I'll put more Ikuto in the next chapter, since I know how you Amuto fans are.**

**Anyways, excuse my little spin-off rant, there. I do that a lot. Thanks for your reviews, and now I'll attempt to respond to them.**

**Response to xXMoonsilverXx: Hehe, me neither. I wanted this to be like a new kind of Amuto love story. You know, without all the playboy-ness, joking around, and Amu acting like a total b**** to Ikuto. Hopefully, it'll live up to your expectations.**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Why, thank you. I really appreciate your review. And as for my writing, it's not bad, but it's not that good. I'm getting better, though. And I'm glad you thought the chapter was serene and peaceful, it was supposed to be just that way. I think we're gonna get along. ;D**

****Response to xXYoraXx: Awww, thanks so much! I'm glad you think so, I think so too. I've never had an idea quite like this one, so I'm gonna keep trying. And you added me to your favorites? Now, that just deserves a hug. -hugs- Thanks so much, Yora!****

**And now I'm done. See you guys next time!**

**-Kanon ;D**


	3. Amaryllis

**A/N: Oh, my gosh. I'm so glad you guys like this story. I have to admit, this whole Amuto thing is kinda new to me, so take it easy one me. :D**

**I wanted this to be kinda refreshing. Not like the typical "Amu is the new girl at school Ikuto is the playboy who breaks many hearts. So now when Ikuto tries to hit on Amu, she's gonna be a total b**** to him until finally, the randomly fall into bed together."**

**Hopefully, this is better than that. Thanks for all the support, you guys!**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Three... **_Amaririsu: Amaryllises_

**Tags: **_secret love, kuchinashi, amaryllis, vanilla ice cream, little sister, stranger._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Family time. Oh, the horror.

But there was no way Amu could get out of it now. You see, somehow, she had accidentally agreed to take her little sister out for ice cream. And it's not that it would take a long time, it's just that... Hinamori Ami could be difficult sometimes. Amu loved her to death, but little siblings were a constant complication, no matter _how _old or mature they were. Now Ami? Ami was nine years old, but of course, that didn't stop her from being a kid. And _everyone _knows how kids are.

Everyone.

So while Ami sat on a bench in the park, licking her chocolate ice cream cone with sprinkles, Amu sat beside her, contented in her plain vanilla cone. For a while, they were both quiet. It was a hot summer day, considerably hotter than all the rest, and Amu would've much rather been at home, where the air-conditioner was, watching TV. But she couldn't have that luxury today. No, by the time Amu dropped Ami at home, it would be time for her to go out to work again.

Amu sighed, smoothing out a wrinkle on her white sun dress.

"Amu-chan," Ami said now, taking a break from her chocolate cone.

Amu felt like groaning, but resisted. She truly loved her sister, despite her near-equal love of air-conditioning. "Yes?"

"You know a lot about flowers, right?" Ami asked.

Amu stared at her sister for a moment. Amu had lived with Ami for nine years, and during all of those she had been obsessed with flowers. For what reason, she didn't like to talk about it. Ami was acting like she'd just met her.

"Yeah, I guess so," Amu said, ignoring it. "Why?"

Ami nodded, licking her ice cream into a perfect peak. "Well, what does it mean if someone gives you a _kuchinashi_?"

Amu thought for a moment. Usually, she could connect a flower's traditional Japanese name to its original one, but she didn't think she'd ever heard of whatever a _kuchinashi _was. Quietly, she looked up at the sky, trying her best to remember for her sister. Well, _kuchi _meant mouth, and _nashi_, was a uncommon way to say _no_, so...

"A gardenia?" Amu repeated blankly, just blinking. The _only _way she even figured that out was because of how a gardenia was shaped. When it bloomed, it rolled open the way you'd think a mouth would, and didn't last very long. Only from mid-spring to mid-summer, and it was a very picky kind of flower. It needed to grow in just the right spot or else, which is where the _no_ part came in.

Ami's face brightened. "That's the one!"

But then Amu remembered what a gardenia symbolized. It was usually given by a young boy to girl, and it represented secret love. "Ami-chan, who's giving you gardenias?"

"No one!" Ami said defensively. "I just want to know what it means."

"It means death and destruction for nine-year-olds."

"Really?"

"No."

Ami sighed in relief. "But I guess this means you're not gonna tell me?"

"You know me so well."

Ami rolled her eyes, running a hand through her sandy brown locks. "Whatever. Can I go down to the lake?"

"Well..." Amu bit her lip. Maybe if they left _now _she could get home and relax a little bit.

"I'll come right back!" Ami promised.

"... Oh, okay," Amu grumbled, despite the brightness that radiated from her sister's face. Ami jumped up, getting some chocolate ice cream on her blue tee-shirt in the process, but ultimately getting the job done.

"Thank you, Amu-chan!" she exclaimed, taking her cone and walking away. Amu thought that maybe she should go after her, just to keep an eye on her. You know, after the whole 'secret love' thing, she wasn't too sure about how Ami was spending her time.

_Nah, _she thought. _Too tired_.

But then something caught her eye.

Something pale... and pink... over by the tree across the park path. Amu tilted her head to the side; it looked like someone had planted a few little flowers there. It was almost funny how flowers were always wherever she went.

Standing up, Amu licked her vanilla ice cream cone and began to cross the path. Who would plant flowers here, of all places? As Amu grew closer, she saw that the flowers weren't just any flowers. They were amaryllises. Personally, they meant a lot to Amu. As a little girl, her mother always used to tell her that...

"_Even though your hair is the same color as them, they're nowhere near as beautiful as you are."_

She missed talking to her mother.

Now that she was close enough, she kneeled by the little group of flowers, making sure not to drop her ice cream cone. Now she could see clearly that this was not just a little school-project mini-garden. This was a memorial. Amu choked back tears. Amaryllises symbolized shyness and patience, but she knew why they were here. Wishing that she also knew who they were for, she looked around for some kind of name tag or engraved stone lying around.

And then she found it. Etched into the tree by her side, Amu read saw words written in English. She looked at the surrounded areas of the trunk for some kanjis, but didn't find any. She wasn't too good at English, either. So this would be hard for her. With great difficulty, she tried to read the words out loud.

"_To Eiko-chan,"_ she mumbled, thrilled that she'd gotten so far. _"Because I never got to love you..."_

If there was any chance of her crying before, it was back again. Amu literally had he wipe her eyes with the back of her hand, afraid that someone would see her. She didn't feel like finishing her ice cream now. Amaryllises were already special, but seeing this?

"_You okay?"_

Amu actually jumped when she heard the voice. Sniffling, she tried her best to make herself look presentable when she turned around. Thank goodness she didn't wear make-up, or else her mascara would be running. "U-uh, hello...?"

When she looked up from where she was sitting on the ground, she was stopped once again by a pair of dark eyes. She would've gasped if she could've, but then she would've started crying again. Instead, she turned away, wiping her eyes some more. It was the boy from the flower shop! Whatever his name was, she didn't feel like talking to him. Or anyone.

"I'm gonna take that as a no," he said, taking a step closer. "What's this?"

Amu tried to compose herself. "They're... um... amaryllises."

He squinted at the message scratched into the tree, obviously not familiar with the letters. Amu waited for him to say that he didn't read English, but he didn't. Finally, he straightened back up. "Oh. That's sad."

"You read English?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Just a little. You eat vanilla ice cream?"

Amu looked down at the cone in her hand. She'd forgotten all about her ice cream! As if to confirm what he was saying, she licked the ice cream, triumphantly.

"Vanilla is a kiddish flavor," he replied, somewhat mockingly.

Amu raised an eyebrow. If there was _anything _they didn't do in Japan, it was mock strangers. "Maybe. What's your name again?"

"Ikuto," he said, taking a seat on the ground next to her. Surprisingly, she felt okay about it. If it were anyone else, she might've excused herself. But now...

"Amu-chan," she said back, smiling. "But, I guess, you already... knew that..."

Ikuto chuckled, momentarily pulling on one of the amaryllises' petals. "So, Amu-chan. Do you _always _cry when you come here?"

Amu blushed just a little, awkwardly tucking a strand of bubblegum hair behind her ear. Where was this guy even from? She'd never met any Japanese person so straight-forward.

"I, umm..." she faltered, a nervous smile upon her face. "I-I don't cry a lot... but I guess... it's easy for me to..."

"Gotcha," he said. "You know, I used to know a girl like that..."

Before Amu could stop herself, she heard herself asking, "Is that the girl you got the white camellia for?"

Ikuto seemed surprised that she remembered. "Um, yeah."

"How'd that go?"

"As good as anything ever goes with her."

"Fair enough," Amu shrugged, her eyes scanning him. He _was _an attractive guy, but she didn't find herself that attracted to him. She supposed he just wasn't her 'type'... whatever that meant.

"I'm gonna come by the shop today, okay?" Ikuto told her. "Are you gonna be there?"

"I'm there everyday."

"Well, I need something delivered."

"Okay." Amu said, acting like the was going to pull her hair back into a ponytail. But then she realized that she didn't have a scrunchie on her wrist, so that was out of the question. Sighing, she let her shoulder-length curls fall back into her face.

This seemed to amuse Ikuto. "Have you ever noticed that... your hair is the same color as those flowers?"

"_Even though your hair is the same color as them, they're nowhere near as beautiful as you are."_

"Amaryllises?" Amu swallowed, not daring to tear her eyes away from him. "Uh, yeah. I've noticed."

"_Amu-chan? Amu-chan? Amu-chan!"_

Amu leaned back a bit, looking over Ikuto's shoulder to find who was calling her name. Surprising no one, it was Hinamori Ami come to get her. Ami looked slightly worried as she crossed the park path, wind blowing in her brunette hair, but also a little wary of Ikuto. Amu felt the need to tell her that Ikuto wasn't a stranger. But she couldn't say that, could she?

"Amu-chan!" Ami said breathlessly, crossing her arms. "I've been looking for you!"

Amu raised an eyebrow. "I was just across the path, Ami..."

"That's besides the point!" Ami protested. "It's time to go!"

Amu sighed, tiredly picking herself up off the ground. She didn't want to go to work, not today, but the only thing that motivated her to get up was knowing that Ikuto would soon be visiting her again. He was... fascinating. Not like anyone she'd ever met before.

"Ikuto," she said, happy that she'd remembered his name. "This is my little sister Ami. Ami, this is Ikuto."

As Ikuto waved to her, Ami didn't budge.

"Yeah, okay. We need to go."

With astonishing vigor, she reached across Ikuto to get to her older sister, grabbing her wrist and ultimately leading her away from the amaryllis memorial. Amu didn't even look back over her shoulder.

She didn't have to.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>AN: Now, I'll respond to all my reviews. Thanks for all of them, everybody! I really appreciate your feedback. **

**Response to kittyallstars: Yeah, I don't like swearing in stories. Unless it's necisarry for the character, or something. So I'm gonna try to leave all swearing out of this, because I was it to be really sweet and cute. So far, I think I'm doing a good job with that. Let's see if I can keep it up.**

**Response to xXMoonsilverXx: Of course it is! It's my favorite pairing, but I won't rant. But as for Kukai, who _doesn't _love him? Honestly, I have a hard time writing stories without Kukai in them. He's just needed there. And don't worry! Amu's fifteen... she's not married. But then again, the ring does have some romantic symbolism. You'll just have to wait until the next chapter to see what's going on.**

**Response to Moyanaka Naze: I agree. My goal is to kind of make it a new kinda love story, without all the 'opposites attract' or the 'good girl meets bad boy'-type stuff. Really and truly, I'm sick of that. Right now I'm just trying to portray Amu and Ikuto as they are in the manag, and then... well, we'll take it from there. Thanbks for your review, and all your nice compliments!**

**Response to mystic554: Awwww, thank you! I'm glad you thought so. I'm trying me best to make this story as 'nice' as it can be. No swearing, or cliche-ness, or anything.**

**Response to EffinPoptarts: Thanks. Yeah, I agree. The moment I thought of the flower shop, I was like "Okay, this is perfect for Amu." It's like, the right kinda job for someone like her, you know? But anyways, I'm glad you like the story! It makes me so happy to know that you do.**

**Thanks for all your feedback, you guys! You don't know how much it helps me!**

**-Kanon ;D**


	4. Or so she Thought

**A/N: Hey, guys! I feel like I'm on a roll with this story. I first uploaded it last Thursday, I think, and look at me? Already at chapter four. I know a lot of people are not used to me updating so quickly, but I like to think that it's one of the things that sets me apart from everyone else; the ability to uplaod a chapter twice in one day, and then not even _think _about the story for the next three months. Over-enthusiasm and procrastination are my specialties.**

**But hey, I just wnated to let you all know how much I love you guys! To know that you like this story as much as I do is really exciting. It's what makes me update so fast. So, keep your feedback coming!**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu<strong>... _The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Four...**_ Matawa so Kanojo wa Kangaeta: Or so she Thought_

**Tags: **_kaneshon, carnation_**, **_young love, ring, delivery, ding, Utau_.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Young love is fleeting.

But of course, friendships are always better. Amu often got lonely while watching the shop, which is what made her so happy when her best friend, Hotori Tadase, came to visit her. She had been fixing up one of the shelves of flower magazine that lined the walls when he came in. Her first instinct was to run to him, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. She didn't get to see Tadase too often; he was always caught up in some extra-curricular credits his parents were making him sign up for. So whenever she got to see him it was a big deal. A really big deal.

"Tadase-kun," she said, pulling away from their hug. It'd been such a long time since she'd seen him, but then again, he didn't look any different. He had the same crimson-colored eyes, flawless, white teeth, and shaggy blonde hair that drove his mother insane. He never changed.

"What're you doing here?" She asked him.

Tadase shrugged, giving her that adorable smile that she loved. "I just thought I'd visit."

Amu gave him a skeptical look. "What did you tell your parents to get yourself out of the house?"

"I'm at the library," he told her, laughing.

She laughed too. "It's so good to see you!"

"It's good to see you, too," he said, taking her hand. "You haven't changed much, Amu-chan."

"Same to you," she giggled.

Then Tadase saw the ring that was on her finger. He lifted up the hand he was holding, too surprised to even smile when he saw it. The silver band, clad with a pure sapphire birth stone. Amu blushed, embarrassed that he was now staring at her.

"You still wear this?" he asked.

Amu shrugged, a shy smile on her face. "Everyday."

Now a grin broke across Tadase's face, and he wrapped her into another hug. Amu couldn't say she was surprised. After all, he was the most huggable person she'd ever met. She buried her face into his tee shirt, relishing the smell that'd been absent for so many months.

"I missed you, Amu-chan," he whispered to her.

"I missed you too," she said, afraid she would cry. So she pulled away as quickly as she could, awkwardly brushing her hair out of her face, like she always did when she was uncomfortable. Tadase was starting to feel like a stranger to her.

"C'mon," she beckoned to him now, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the counter in the back.

When they arrived there, Amu left Tadase at the counter, going around to the other wise to climb up onto her favorite blue stool. Once she was there, she smiled at him like he was a regular costumer. "Well, Hotori-san, what can I do for you today?"

"I was thinking you could get me some kaneshons?" Tadase said, playing along.

_"Carnations_," Amu corrected, lending him the flower's English name. "And who, might I ask, are these for?"

He pretending to think it over. Amu laughed at the face he was making. "They're for a pretty lady I know."

Amu blushed. "Well, sir, I think you're just gonna have to come back to the cooler with me. 'Cause I'm not sure what _kaneshon_'s look like."

"Okay, then," Tadase grinned. "Show me the way."

Amu slid off of her stool, leading him into the back room. Here, there were shelves and shelves of vases, scissors, ribbons, and any other tools you needed to make a perfect flower arrangement. She remembered that she needed to re-create another window arrangement to compensate for the one she gave to Mr. Hanagami. She'd almost gotten into trouble for that one. So maybe she could teach Tadase how to make an arrangement; after all, he was at the 'library', so he might as well learn something.

"Tadase-kun," she turned to face him.

"Yes?"

She smirked, putting her hands on her hips. "I think it's time for-"

_Ding, ding._

Tadase looked around. "What was that?"

Amu sighed. "It's the bell on the front counter. We have a costumer."

"Oh," he nodded. "Should I...?"

"No. Stay here," she ordered. "I'll be right back."

"Whatever you say."

Amu then began to walk back out into the store, passing him on the way to the door. It wasn't everyday she got to see Tadase, mostly because his parents didn't like her, so she wasn't going to let any number of impatient costumers keep them from having a good time. Who was it, anyway? They were too close to closing for anyone to even _think _about...

"Hey, Amu."

_Oh. It was Ikuto. _

Amu took a deep breath, composing herself. "Hey, Ikuto. What're you doing here?"

"I told you I was coming over, remember?" He raised an eyebrow.

Amu slowly closed the backroom door behind her, walking up to the counter where he stood, waiting for her. She couldn't help but feel at ease when she was back on her blue stool, behind the counter where she felt safe. "Oh, that's right."

She tried to shove past the memory of their encounter at the park that day. Nothing ends well when it starts with people seeing you cry.

"So what are you in for?" she asked cheerfully, resting her elbow on the table and propping her chin in her upturned palm.

"I need a specific arrangement," Ikuto explained.

Amu snapped her fingers. "I was just about to start making one, too. Do you have any flowers in mind?"

"Yeah," he replied, looking up as he was trying to remember. "Um... carnations, azaleas, and... oh, white camellias."

Amu thought over the flowers he'd name. "This is for the same girl as last time, isn't it?"

"Yep."

"You sure seem to know your flowers."

Ikuto shrugged. "They're a... big part of my history."

"Same here," Amu smiled, sliding off of her stool. "Is this for delivery or carry-out?"

"Delivery," he answered, watching as she reached for a yellow legal pad sitting by the sink. Pulling a pen out of the pocket of her blue apron, she proceeded to hand both to Ikuto, a funny look on her face. Like she was happy just giving it to him.

"Write the address down."

"Okay," he said, putting the pad down and starting to. As he wrote, he continued to talk to her. "I need the flowers at this address by four o' clock."

"Fine with me," Amu nodded. "Is that all?"

Ikuto nodded, sliding the pad across the counter to her. "Just about, I think. Thanks."

"Your welcome," she said bashfully, looking down. "I hope it all works out with this girl you like."

Ikuto seemed amused by that sentence. He almost sort of... laughed. "Yeah... well, okay. Oh, and for when you get to her house, her name is Utau."

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

Amu was always left with an empty feeling after Ikuto was gone. Not a longing, or a yearning, but just an emptiness. Considering the fact that she knew him, but didn't _know _him, she thought this was a contributing factor. However, knowing that her best friend was waiting in the backroom for her, she didn't stay too down about it. Because, hey, it's not everyday she got to be alone in a flower shop with someone she really loved. But let's make sure you know what type of love we're talking about, here.

"Hey, Tadase-kun," she waved. "Sorry that took so long..."

Tadase stood from his seat by the 'vegetable' cooler. "No, it's okay."

Amu scratched the back of her head. "You know, I was thinking... I never really got to thank you for this ring..."

"That's fine," he dismissed it, but then added, "Maybe we should go out sometimes... and you can thank me there."

"That sounds good to me," she blushed.

And then the emptiness she felt was filled.

Or so she thought.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>AN: It's time for my review responses! I love doing them, because they're a great way to let my reviewers know that I care about what they say! And it makes them feel free to ask me questions, which I love answering.**

**Response to xfayex bbzx: Oh, my Gosh. The first sentence of your review blew me away. Just letting you know, because now I'm gonna be happy for the rest of the week. Your first time? Well, let me tell you, reading Shugo Chara fanfics s a lot like dating. You have to kiss a lot of frogs, or read a lot of crap, before you find the one for you ;D. You'll figure out what happened to Amu's mother soon enough. Soon EE-NUFF. (Thanks for the cookie, by the way. Yummy!).**

**Response to Mayonaka Naze: Yeah, I agree completely. I love the Ikuto of the manga, but the anime Ikuto just annoys me. He's just a cliche guy, you know? But in the manga, he's this sweet guy who didn't joke around HALF as much as he did in the anime. I feel like you really get me. ^-^**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Yeah... I tend to do that. Writing fast is my thing. And about the amaryllises, I think you've got something confused. _Gardenias _are the flowers that symbolize secret love. Amaryllises symbolize shyness, kindness, and patience. But other than that, I think you've got it down. And yeah, I hate it when in other Shugo Chara stories, Amu and Ikuto meet each other in chapter one, and then in chapter four they're having hot sex or something. And another thing is when they're in every single chapter together. Their lives don't revolve around each other! They have other friends, too. Thank you so much for such a long, great review! You don't know how happy your reviews make me. :D**

**Response to kittyallstars: Awwwwie! Thanks so much! And yes, I plan to update regularly... this story is very special to me, compared to my other ones. It's my first Amuto one, too.**

**Response to xxxUtauloverxxx: Thanks, I agree. Amu working in a flower shop is just so... _her_. I tried to stay true to the Amu of the manga, who's a lot sweeter and less stubborn than the anime Amu. I think I like every character's manga self more than their anime self. Except Yaya; her anime self is adorable. **

**Thanks so much for all your support, everyone. I know I keep saying it, but it's true. I love all your reviews. And I love you even if you're not a reviewer. As long as you're reading!**


	5. Meet Utau

**A/N: I have another exciting (lol, no) chapter of Tsubaki no Seikatsu for you! Here, we finally get to see Utau come into the story, but I won't spoil it for her. I have to admit, though, it was pretty hard for me to keep her in character, because of the way I wanted the story to go. But she's still as distant and socially awkward as ever! Though, I don't think I wrote her as mean as the anime Utau is. So if you're not used to the manga Utau, she's gonna appear to be acting pretty weird in this chapter. But anyway, I'll shut up so you can read it.**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu<strong>... _The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Five**..._ Utau o Mitasu: Meet Utau_

**Tags: **_paper cranes, sister, flowers, delivery girl, late, lemonade, potato chips, running._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Having a job was _hard_.

Especially when you had school, too. After finishing a history test at the end of the day, Amu practically had to _run _to the flower shop to pick up Ikuto's arrangement. From there, she headed right over to the address he'd printed on the legal pad. She wasn't too happy about it, since all her friends were going out to lunch that day without her, but maybe if she got this whole delivery thing over with quickly she could still make lunch.

But, of course, with her luck she knew it would be unlikely.

Amu had made tons of deliveries during her time at Hana no Kokoro, but never to _this _part of Seiyo. Today she was delivering to the west side, which was full of big houses. Not mansions, but they were no ranches either. As Amu walked down the sidewalk, she stared in awe at how nice this neighborhood was... whoever this Utau girl was, she must've been pretty high up on the 'list'. Finally, Amu spotted the house.

Just as Ikuto had described it on paper. Traditionally Victorian-styled, which was unusual in Japan, with white panels and dark green shutters. There was a porch swing on the large front deck, which looked as if it wrapped around the whole house. Amu felt a bit excited as she rushed up to the front door; she wanted to meet this girl.

Taking a hand off of the large flower vase she was holding, she rang the doorbell. Now all she could do was wait, as the breeze flowed through the arrangement of flowers she was holding, also blowing her through the curls she'd put in her hair that morning.

_"I'm coming!" _someone called from inside the house. Amu braced herself to see the beautiful girl that Ikuto was trying to impress.

Finally, the door opened. There stood a girl, probably only a few years older than Amu herself, who was even prettier than she'd imagined. She had two long, blonde ponytails and dark, violet eyes. Amu almost gasped; they had the same look in that Ikuto's did at times. That sad one... or lonely, or something...

"Hello?" The girl raised an eyebrow, putting a hand on her hip. Her skin was fair and flawless, and her frowning lips were a cherry-colored red.

Amu blinked, snapping out of her trance. "Uh, sorry. Are you Utau-chan?"

"Yeah," she replied, looking wary of Amu.

"Well... these are from Ikuto," Amu said cheerfully, holding out the vase of carnations, azaleas, and white camellias to her.

Utau's face lit up immediately. "Oh, this is _so _sweet!" she exclaimed, taking the vase from Amu. "I can't believe he did this...!"

Amu smiled; she loved seeing the reaction of delivery recipients. It always made her day, no matter what kind of mood she'd been in before.

"I'm sorry," Utau said to her now, a grin on her face. "You must be Amu."

"Yeah," Amu replied, a bit confused. "How did you know?"

Suddenly, Utau went back to being cold. It kinda reminded Amu of Rima, but perhaps Utau was a bit nicer? Either way, Utau tensed up again. "Ikuto... uh... _mentioned _you."

"Oh, okay," Amu said, wondering if she'd done something wrong.

Utau noticed this. Awkwardly, she stepped to the side, exposing the inside hallway. "You look like you walked a long way. Do you want something to drink?"

"Sure," Amu nodded. "If that's alright."

Utau held tight to her vase. "Well, then... uh... come in."

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Utau's house was even more charming on the inside. It was designed like something you would see in an old American movie, full of white sofas and pictures on the wall. Amu was surprised at how many involved Utau and Ikuto together. Well, they were a cute couple, she thought. Now, Amu and Utau were sitting on comfortable stool at the kitchen bar, drinking lemonade and eating chips out of a bowl. Amu noticed all the paper cranes that littered the place. On the desks, in the cabinets, on the floor... even in the refrigerator. And before she could stop herself, Amu was asking about it.

"Oh," Utau muttered, sort of choking on her lemonade. Momentarily, she looked around at all the cranes in the room, as if this was her first time seeing them in her entire life. "Yeah... sorry about that. They're kinda like a hobby of mine."

"Really?"Amu blinked. She'd never met anyone who actually did origami. "Can you do other origami stuff?"

Utau nodded, looking a bit uncomfortable talking about herself. "Uh, yeah. I've... had a lot of spare time."

"Oh," Amu said, staring into her glass of lemonade. Suddenly, she was less into drinking it. Instead, she reached for some chips from the bowl between them. Utau was being awfully nice to her, inviting her in like this... no wonder Ikuto liked her.

"So, how did you and Ikuto meet?" Amu asked, her mouth full of chips.

Utau, once again, almost choked on her lemonade. Amu was beginning to think that Ikuto's jumpiness was a learned trait. But now she was laughing, so Amu had no idea what was going on. She'd just asked a question, after all.

"What?" She wanted to know now.

"He's…" Utau replied. "He's my brother."

"Oh," Amu didn't understand. Ikuto was buying all these flowers for… his sister? And white camellias, at that? _Then why was he calling her a girl 'he used to know'? _Amu wondered.

Utau looked up at the ceiling, her violet eyes seemingly distant. "I, uh… shouldn't be surprised. I mean, everybody thinks we're… you know. And we look nothing alike…"

"No, you don't," Amu agreed immediately.

Utau grew quiet as she pushed her lemonade away from her. _Good_, Amu thought. _Then I won't have to panic when you choke again_. Without another word, Utau slid off of her stool, briefly reminding Amu of the flower shop for obvious reasons, and went over to the kitchen counter. Fondly, she grabbed one of the paper cranes that sat by itself, near the bread box. Absently, she toyed with it, turning it over in her hands. Amu gazed at it; it was small, and dark blue, with little cherry blossoms decorating it.

"So…" Utau said softly, a smile on her face. Awkwardly, she moved one of her long, blonde ponytails so it hung _behind _her shoulder. "I hear you're into flowers."

Amu nodded. How much did Utau know about her, exactly? It was beginning to make her feel comfortable there, like she belonged. "Yeah."

"Well, I have a greenhouse out back," Utau replied, setting the dark blue crane down on the kitchen island Amu was sitting at. "Maybe I could show you around some time, and see how much you really know."

Amu smirked. "Is that a challenge?"

"We'll see," Utau made a mocking face. "Delivery girl."

Amu chuckled, looking down at her watch. She gasped when she saw the time. _6:00pm_. She had been talking to Utau for two hours? It'd only seemed like five minutes! Either way, she had to be home by five o' clock for dinner, so she was already in trouble. She wondered what her mother would say about that… nothing good, no doubt.

Amu slid off of the stool, trying to mask how mortally terrified she was of being late. "I'm so sorry, I have to go…"

"No worries," Utau said. "It was nice talking to you, I… uh, guess."

"Yeah" Amu grabbed her satchel, throwing it over her shoulder and heading towards the door. She would have to run home in hopes of making it there in fifteen minutes. Utau lived on the exact opposite part of the city as opposed to her.

Utau was quick to catch up with her, being polite and opening the door for her. "Oh, and when you see Ikuto… tell him I said thank you."

"Sure thing," Amu said, nodding her goodbye, and then taking off. Utau watched her leave, baffled by how fast she could run. Amu was definitely as interesting person, she knew, she just wondered whether or not that was a good thing.

It was all Amu could do to keep from collapsing as she sprinted away.

_I'm in so much trouble._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>AN: Now it's time for my review responses! **

**Response to xAmutIkuto: Don't worry. To be honest, I don't really know a whole lot about flowers either, though I do agree that learning about them is exciting. And of course, whenever you add flowers to a situation, it automatically makes it cute. I admit, I did come down a little hard on those kind of stories in my previous review responses. Some of them are done rather well, but it's hard to find. Like, it shows how much thought people put into their stories when they give a legit reason for those kind of things. OH, YESSSS. I hate it when people write Tadase all girly and paper-thin. He has depth to, you know. And depending on the type of story, the _writer _gets to decide where exactly that depth stems from. Further more, I think this is the start of a wonderful relationship (between us, I mean. Not Amu and Tadase). Your so articulate and precise with your words... I think I'm gonna have to go and read one of your stories.**

**Response to Mayonaka Naze: You shall have to wait and see what's up with the ring, though I thought I made it pretty obvious what it symbolizes (Amu and Tadase's relationship). I have to say that I like the manga better, too. It's much more bearable than the anime.**

**Response to smilinglikeyou: Oh, thank you! Yes, you'll figure from some of my other stories that I love mystery. It's what keeps the story exciting, you know? Not knowing what's gonna happen is cool for me. So I try to incorporate that into my stories as often as I can.**

**Response to xxxUtauloverxxx: Yeah. I had to rewrite that chapter a couple of times, because I didn't wanna scare you guys off with too much Tadamu. But Amu is slowly starting to fall for Ikuto, even if she doesn't realize it yet. Thanks for saying that! I'm glad you think so.**

**Response to kittyallstars: Hahaha, the whole rhyming thing was very cute. Yeah, this is my first Amuto... so I'm a bit blank on how to write the characters sometimes. I know a lot of the people on here have never read the manga, but only watch the anime, so they might think my writing's a bit off... but I want them to like my stories too, so I always have to think about what I'm writing. I love it, though.**

**Response to OliviaLively: Seeing that you like my stories so much bring _me _joy. I'm a big fan of your stories. The first story I read was one by you, called _"Our Children," _even though I think you took it off. I'd really liked it. So to know that you like my stories so much means a lot to me. Thank you for reading!**

**Response to ChocoTaiyaki121: ... Amu? Don't you think it would be a bit strange if Ikuto was buying flowers for a girl he barely knew, _for _the girl that he was buying them from? Seems a bit out there, even for me. IDK, but you'll see why Ikuto is sending Utau flowers. **

**I think that just about wraps up my end note for this chapter! See you guys next time!**

**-Kanon ;D**


	6. Dial Tone

**A/N: It's been a whole week since I last updated. Oddly enough, it feels like it's been an eternity. My life is moving really slow lately. To top it off, my boyfriend dumped me. It wasn't brutal or anything; actually, it was heart-breakingly nice the way he did it. But... it still doesn't change anything. And I didn't want to write any romance, but of course, Haruna-chan was urging me to continue with my stories. Please wish me luck; my life is being to get really hard!**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu<strong>... _The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Six**..._ Daiyaruton: Dial Tone_

**Tags:** _date, flowers, call, grounded, bedroom, talking, dial tone, beautiful._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

"I'm grounded. Forever."

"_That sucks. But you're still allowed to use the phone, right?"_

"Duh. I'm just not allowed to have fun anymore."

"_All for not being home by curfew?"_

"You know how my mom is. Or… at least, how she's been, since…"

"_You don't have to say it. I know how hard it is for you."_

"Thanks, Rima-chan."

Amu sniffled loudly. Here she lay, in her bed, staring at the ceiling because she broke curfew. All for work, as she tried to tell her parents, but they wouldn't listen. Ever since the _thing_, they'd always been so protective of her. Even her worrying them in the slightest would result in punishment. In a way, she was glad she had parents who loved her so much, but most of the time she hated it. How they would never talk about the _thing_, but leave it hanging in the air. And how her mother had disconnected since it took place.

"So what's new, Rima-chan?" she asked into the phone, hoping that at least _somebody _was having fun that night.

Rima paused momentarily. _"… Nagihiko and I are going somewhere tonight."_

Amu smirked. An outsider would see Nagihiko and Rima as a couple, but _she _knew that the minute they got wherever they were going to go, they would start fighting and Rima would end up leaving. And then the next day, they'd make up and go get coffee. It was the unstoppable circle of the Nagi/Rima cycle. They would probably never be more than just friends.

"Sounds good to me," Amu replied. "Where are you going?"

Unsurprisingly, Rima's tone was now a bit harsh. _"What is this, the Spanish Inquisition? It's none of your business."_

Briefly, the sudden nature of Rima's tensing up reminded Amu of Utau, when she'd gone to delivery the flowers earlier. She was such a strange girl, and Ikuto's sister at that. Amu wanted to know more about them… why Ikuto was sending his sister flowers, and why Utau made all those paper cranes. She wanted that bit of adventure and mystery in her life.

But thanks to her parents, she would never get it.

"Go ahead and pretend that you're not excited," Amu shrugged, a bit put off by Rima's tone. "I wish you guys would just shut up and go on a date, sometimes."

"_Ignoring the nature of your comment," _Rima replied mechanically.

While balancing her phone in the crook of her neck, Amu picked up the clipboard that had been resting on her stomach. It was the one Ikuto had written Utau's address on, and ultimately, the one she'd used to find the house in the end. Amu noticed that he'd written his phone number on it, probably so that she could call in case there was trouble. But she couldn't help but want to call him _now_. She needed someone new to talk to, and to tell the truth, Ikuto was playing the more refreshing character in her life at that moment.

"Hey, Rima-chan?" Amu said quietly, forgetting all about their heated conversation. "Can I call you later?"

"_Sure." _Rima's voice was a flat as ever. _"Nagihiko will be here to pick me up soon, and I won't be back after that until eleven, so…"_

"I'll manage without you," Amu teased.

"_Whatever you say, Amu-chan."_

"Okay, thanks. Bye."

"_Bye."_

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

With that, Amu picked up her phone, effectively ending her conversation with Rima. Now, it was just her and the clipboard. She stared at it until she had basically memorized Ikuto's number, wondering if calling him was the best thing to do. Maybe he wouldn't answer. Maybe he had something to do and wouldn't have time to talk to her. There were lots of reasons she couldn't call him, Amu decided. Too many, actually.

But she ignored them all.

Slowly, and rather ceremoniously, she entered his number into the phone. The little beeping sounds that the numbers on her keypad made were lifting, as if the very sound of them could cure any disease, heal any wound. Which was good, because Amu had a lot of wounds that needed to be healed.

Finally, she took a deep breath. She didn't understand why this was so hard for her. Whatever it was, it was the same feeling that made her press the green button, closing her eyes and hoping for the best.

_Ring…_

_Ring…_

_Ring…_

She crossed her fingers.

_Ring…_

The sound of the constant ringing was discouraging. Maybe it wasn't meant to be, she thought. But she really would've liked to talk to him, to hear his voice, even if it was just to tell her that he was busy.

"_Hello?"_

And so her wish was granted. Her amber eyes widened. She was so happy that he'd picked up that she didn't know what to do. _Say something_, she urged herself. But words failed her.

"_Hello? Who is this?"_

Amu pinched her arm. "Uh, um… this is Amu. From the flower shop."

"_Oh," _Ikuto's voice sounded surprised. _"Hey."_

Amu fumbled before she could muster a correct response. "I, um… I'm just calling to tell you that Utau got her delivery, and…"

"_I'm really sorry."_

"What?" Amu blinked.

Ikuto audibly sighed on the other end of the line. _"She said something horrible to you, didn't she?"_

"No," Amu sort of giggled, amused by the amount of faith Ikuto had in his sister. "Actually, she was really nice. We talked… for two hours, apparently."

"_Seriously?"_

"Seriously."

"_Well…" _Ikuto sounded a little wary, as if he didn't believe what she was saying. _"That's good."_

Amu smiled; she could imagine him looking shocked. It was dreadfully easy to surprise him. "I, er… have a question, though."

"_Sure."_

"I hope it's not too personal," she apologized ahead of time. "But… why do you send your sister flowers?"

Then it was silent. Ikuto chuckled breathily, almost shakily. Like it was hard for him. The sound brought on a feeling Amu had only felt once before. It broke her heart.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Amu said quickly, sitting up in her bed. The last thing she wanted to do was upset him.

"_No, it's okay," _Ikuto replied, in a forced tone. _"Flowers are an important thing in my family. Maybe I'll tell you about it the next time I come into the shop."_

Amu found herself frowning. "… You're gonna leave me hanging like that?"

"_Now you have something to look forward to."_

"When are you coming by?" Amu asked, wishing that for once she had a phone cord to wrap her fingers around, like all the girls in the movies did.

"_How about tomorrow?" _

"Sounds good."

"_Alright then, it's a deal." _Ikuto sounded like he was smiling. _"But hey, I've gotta go."_

"Right." Amu nodded. "It was nice talking to you."

"_I'd say 'right back atcha', but that's stupid."_

Amu laughed. "Bye, Ikuto."

"Bye, Amu."

And there was the dial tone. Long, boring, and flavorless, like Amu's life.

But in that moment, it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

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><p><strong>AN: And that wraps up our latest chapter. I know it wasn't much, but a lot more is gonna happen in the next chapter. I was thinking something along the lines of some Tadamuto action, but I might end up adding some Utau/Ikuto/Amu in there (by the way, what do you call that pairing-combination? First one to answer gets a prize!). Anyways, onto my review responses!**

**Response to FBGoldfish: I know, right? Haruna's writing style is a lot different than mine (she's my sister, by the way). I could never write a fantasy story. I haven't got enough imagination, I don't think ;D. Yeah. Haruna will tell you that I'm all about leaving mystery in my stories, and I'm always the one telling her how to write her characters so that she doesn't give her plot away. Haruna is a good writer, but she's hopelessly lost when it comes to maintaining her plot ;D. And yeah, this is going to have a pretty substantial amount of chapter probably somewhere around 25-35, depending on how much developement I can fit into 2,000 words per chapter. But thanks for the review! It really helps me out! :D**

**Response to Adeline-Eveline: Awww, thank you! Getting compliments always makes me tear up :'). Yeah, I try to keep Ikuto true to the manga, but somewhere along the line I'm going to have a little bit of phasing in and out of the anime Ikuto, because, the perverted jokes are also a part of him, they just weren't as big a part of him as they were in the anime. And thank you again! I don't know what I'm gonna do, with all you guys complimenting me like that. I always have to have a box of kleenex next to me when I'm reading my reviews (true story, lol). And about the butterfly thing... there's a reason it's there. You'll see why soon. Thanks for your review!**

**Response to kittyallstars: That makes me smile :).**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Hahaha, the tags was an idea I got while uploading YouTube videos for my sister's account. They always have tags, so why can't my story? And anyway, since Utau is a famous singer, she's more higher middle-class, but Ikuto is just plain middle-class. And yes, it's always been one of my favorite things, watching how Amu and Utau interact... so being able to write about it is awesome for me :D. I sound like an expert? LOL FJSTkbIUGHA! I'm _so _not. And you see? I updated, just like you asked! :D**

**Response to Lol3times: I do too ;P.**

**Response to xxxUtauloverxxx: You shall find out soon... my dear one ;D.**

**Response to AmuRosecross: Ikuto clearly said in the previous chapter that both the white camellia and the flower arrangement were for Utau. I'm sorry if you missed it, though.**

**Response to ChocoTaiyaki121: Ohhhh, no. One of my pet peeves is when a fanfiction writer takes two siblings and writes them as if they'd never even known each other. I can't stand it. Hahaha, no sister complex here. It's more like a disfunctional family, but I can't say too much. You just have to wait to read it!**

**Response to OliviaLively: Oh, really? Well, I liked reading it. And that's about the age I am right now. I'll be starting high school this school year coming up ;D. And yes, the thing you said about the cranes was correct, and it _is _the reason Utau makes them. It used to be that after 1000 cranes, you had to hang them all on a tree, and then you could make a wish when the wind blew through them. But nowadays, I think you can hang them anyway. Under a chair, in a window, on your car... but, I think I'm gonna have Utau stick to the old fashioned way. You're very observant, you know that?**

**Thanks so much everyone! I owe you guys all one big group hug!**

**-Kanon ;D**


	7. Tomorrow Night

**A/N: Hey, guys! Yikes... it's been thirteen days since I've updated, hasn't it? That's almost two whole weeks! I'm so sorry. Anyways, I've been at camp all of last week, so I just got back, and I'm gonna start focusing on all the stories I've been neglecting. Like, this story. And my PGG one, if any of you guys have read the first chapter. So... I'm back. **

**And as for this chapter, I think I told you guys I was going to do a bit of Tadamuto or Utamuto. Sadly, I will not be doing that. Instead, this chapter is going to feature a bit of Kukamuto. And you gotta love anything with Kukai in it :).**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu<strong>... _The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Seven**… _Ashito no Yoru: Tomorrow Night_

**Tags:** _phone call, concert, seiyo, best friend, butterfly, ring, sneaking out, tomorrow._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

Amu was on temporal lock-down.

She was only allowed to go to school and to work, and then she had to come home the very _minute _she was off the clock. It wasn't the ideal high school lifestyle, but hey, Amu was just glad she had parents who loved her. However, her being grounded was getting in the way of that night out Tadase had promised her. Which put her in a bad mood.

So now she was back in the shop, sitting on her favorite stool. She hadn't gotten that many costumers that day, and it was already approaching eight o' clock, which was the time that she got off of work. _Thirty minutes to go, _she coached herself on. _Just thirty minutes._

Then her cell phone rang.

_Ring, ring, ring…_

Amu reached into her strawberry bowl, which unfortunately bore no strawberries on that particular day, and fished out her phone. The number on the screen was hauntingly familiar to her, but it wasn't one that she'd know. And it wasn't on her contact list either.

Warily, Amu pressed the _receive _button, bringing the phone up to her ear. "Hello?"

"_Hey, Amu."_

"Ikuto?" she exclaimed. She wondered, for a moment, how he'd gotten her phone number. But then she remembered that she'd called him the night before.

Ikuto's chuckle proved that he was amused by her surprise. _"The one and only."_

Amu retaliated by frowning. His teasing was cute, but not funny. "Why…?"

"_Just wanted to remind you that I'm coming into the shop today," _he replied, shamelessly.

Amu checked her watch. There were about ten-odd minutes left before the store closed. She doubted that any wizarding flower expert like herself could help _anybody _in that short amount of time. "Like, when?"

"_Like, now."_

Her eyes widened at the sudden nearness of his voice. He sounded too tangible. So Amu looked up towards the door, expecting to see him walking through the shiny glass doors. And surprisingly, that's exactly what she saw.

"Ikuto?" she slowly put down her phone, her voice cutting at an irritated edge.

"We just went through this," he informed her, stuffing his own cellular into his pocket. He was aware that she was probably annoyed with him, but did this affect him? Of course not.

"You didn't have to do that, you know," Amu sighed. "You just wasted two of my phone minutes."

"You should switch to a new plan." Ikuto ran a hand through his navy hair, only letting it fall back into his face shortly afterward.

Amu slightly leaned away when he approached the counter. After their talk last night, things were pretty awkward for her. And he wasn't trying to help. "So… what did you come in for?"

"Well…" he began, which made Amu afraid for a second. Hesitation wasn't something she was very fond of. And noticing that he looked pretty nervous made her feel nervous as well.

Amu raised an eyebrow. "Well what?"

"I was planning on going to a concert." Ikuto's eyes shifted to the checkout counter, as opposed to the person he was talking to. "Tomorrow. And… I was wondering if you wanted to come."

Amu's heart skipped a beat. Not because Ikuto asking her to go somewhere with him was a dream come true, but because she wanted to go so badly and knew she couldn't. _Leave it to life to rain on your parade_, she thought sullenly. Suddenly, the lights in the flower shop seemed to noticeably dim. Or maybe it was the dampening of her spirit.

"Who's playing?" she asked, trying her best to mask the sad look on her face.

"Come to find out," he challenged.

Amu sighed, fumbling with the hem of her logo tee shirt. She desperately wanted to _not _have to tell Ikuto that she was grounded. It would be embarrassing. Maybe she could lie? That seemed like a good thing to do. Out of all the things in the universe Amu was afraid of, lies was not one of them.

But guilt was.

And for all the things she saw in Ikuto's dark eyes, she knew she couldn't lie to him. It would break her own heart to break his; she was too nice for that. So she told the truth instead.

"I can't, Ikuto," Amu admitted, scratching the back of her neck. She shuddered when she felt the cool scar that resided there.

"Oh," he said, his tone lowering. And then silence fell between them. Not that feel-good, awesome Japanese person silence either. No, it was an awkward, thick hush. Amu could almost _feel _it hanging in the air around them.

But of course, that didn't last for long. Because, unexpectedly, one of Amu's favorite people walked through the front doors of the shop. All clad in his kakis and coffee shop work shirt, Souma Kukai seemed to brighten up Amu's spirit again. She was so surprised to see him that she didn't even know what to do!

"Kukai-nii!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands together.

Kukai waved to her, his voice drench with irritation. "Do you know how hard it is to find this place?"

Her eyes met with Ikuto's for just a moment, before she decided to leave her stool, working her way around the counter to give Kukai a big hug. "It's so good to see you!" she told him.

"I know." He ruffled her pink locks.

Amu pulled away, becoming aware of the odd looks that passed between the two other shop-dwellers. So she promptly began the introductions, doing all things necessary to mask the discomfort that still resided between her and Ikuto. Somehow, she felt that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

"Kukai-nii, this is Ikuto," she gestured between the two. "He comes into the shop sometimes. Ikuto, this is Kukai, my 'big brother' for all intents and purposes."

"Hey," Kukai put his hand out towards Ikuto. Amu could always count on him to be friendly. Ikuto nodded back, of course, shaking his hand politely.

Amu checked her watch. The store would be closing any minute then. "Hey, Kukai-nii, did you know that there's a concert going on tomorrow?"

"In _Seiyo_?" Kukai blinked incredulously. "The most boring place in the universe?"

Amu chuckled. "That's what _I _thought when I heard it. Ikuto invited me to go with him."

Kukai's eyes widened a little bit, as his gaze shifted back and forth between Amu and Ikuto. Soon she realized that she probably shouldn't have said what she had.

"But you can't go, can you?" he asked pointedly. "You're grounded."

Amu elbowed him in the ribs. So much for keeping it a secret. "Ugh! Did Rima-chan tell you that?"

"Not saying names."

Ikuto tried his best to stifle the chuckle that escaped him. Amu turned to him with dagger-clad eyes, her shoulder-length hair whipping like fire. "Don't laugh!"

"I'm sorry," he apologized, not looking very sorry at all. "But… you're grounded?"

"Yeah," she grumbled. "… All thanks to you and your sister."

Kukai looked utterly confused. Actually, the word 'baffled' was more like it. And it wasn't because of Ikuto or anything, but only the exchange between him and Amu. Never the less, he did the painfully 'Kukai'-ish thing to do, fingering his earring with a grin on his face.

"If you want to go so bad, why don't you just sneak out, Hinamori?" he asked.

Amu almost gaped. The thought of sneaking out of her house was horrendous, but knowing that she was also _grounded_? Well, that was just plain terrifying. "B-but Kukai-nii… I can't do it."

"Look, Amu," Ikuto sighed. "I'm not forcing you. Maybe some other time, okay?"

And then the decision settled in. Those four words, _maybe some other time_, had the same affect as flipping a coin. You see, flipping a coin worked _not_ because it decided for you, but because that in the moment the coin was in the air, you realize what you're hoping for. And in those four words, Amu felt disappointment. She felt sadness. She felt _boredom_. Which is why she was quick to change her mind.

"No, no!" Her voice rose to an anxious pitch. "I'm coming."

Ikuto looked at Kukai, and then back at Amu. "Are you sure?"

_I've never been so sure of anything in my life, _Amu thought decidedly. But instead, she smirked at him. "You'll see. Call me later and we'll work it out, okay?"

"I'm so proud of you, Amu," Kukai mumbled, stifling fake tears. "Doing something irresponsible for the first time in forever."

Amu always used to do stupid things with Tadase, when he was around. It was part of the reason they didn't get to see each other much anymore; they were always getting into trouble together. But goodness, did she miss him! For a moment, it brought her eyes to meet the ring on her finger, sculpted into the form of a butterfly.

And then she noticed her watch.

"The store closed ten minutes ago, guys," she told Kukai and Ikuto. "I suggest you guys get out so I can lock up."

"See you tomorrow night, Amu," Ikuto said.

_See you tomorrow night, Ikuto_.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

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><p><strong>AN: Now for the responses to my lovely reviews...! (Thanks guys!)**

**Response to xxxToxicMemoryxxx: Hehehe, I try to update frequently. But sometimes I fail (TT^TT). Ooooh, you like flowers? Well, I have to admit, I know absolutely nothing about them. I'm still adapting to the idea for this story. BUt I'm glad you enjoyed the six chapters we had up until now... It means a lot to me. And yes. I'm an Amuto fan, but I enjoy Tadamu when it's portrayed correctly. Their friendship in this story has an airy romantic feel to it, so be prepared for some major love triangle conflicts. Yeah, like I've been telling people, I tried to make the Ikuto in this story a lot like the Ikuto of the manga, as opposed the anime Ikuto (if you get what I'm saying). And the rest of your questions will be answered shortly, I promise. Thank you.**

**Response to FBGoldfish: I KNOW, RIGHT? I feel the exact same way! We're pretty much on the same page, I guess. And sorry, no Tadamuto in this chapter. Just Kukamuto.**

**Response to Wildeh: Why, thank you. Thank you very much! I try...**

**Response to thexlittlexlisa: That makes me feel great, you know? I never thought this story would be so popular... it's kinda uplifting! :)**

**Response to Adeline-Eveline: Actually, it's something quite different. But I suppose it will soon enough. I'll give you a hint: butterflies are something to remind Amu of the _thing _she keeps refering to. You'll be surprised when you figure out what it is, but you're on the right track :D.**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Thanks. You guys are unbelievably nice. You write reviews _while _you're reading the chapter? Oh, I've never thought of that! That's so brilliant! (LOL, sorry... I'm very easy to excite). Actually, the Utau/Ikuto/Amu pairing-name question has been answered by OliviaLively. It's Utamuto. And yeah, I can assure you that most of the side relationships (Nagi/Rima Cycle) in this story will evolve. I promise. Thanks for the great review!**

**Response to xxxUtauloverxxx: Hehehe, sorry. In truth, insetad of making you wait for a week, I made you wait for _two _weeks. I fail epically, don't I? ... sorry about that ^-^"**

**Response to Mayonaka Naze: I can instantly tell that you don't like Tadamu. I do, though. I mean, I obviously like Amuto a bit better, but I enjoy reading Tadamu stories that are written well. There's so much emotion behind their relationship that nobody is really willing to capture. So, even thought this is an Amuto story, I wanted to step up and take that challenge. I hope that doesn't upset you :(.**

**Response to AthenVirgo: Well, hello there. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but are you a new reviewer? If so, we're gonna have to throw you a party! Hehehe, I know! We should _both _kill each other's exes! Like they do in the movies, you know? Then, neither one of us would get caught!**

**Response to ChocoTaiyaki121: Hmmmm... I think I've seen EffinPoptars popping up somewhere... can't remember where, though. Anyways, does your username have any reference to the fact that Ikuto likes chocolate taiyaki? Or maybe it was Amu who liked it and gave him some...? I don't know. Can't remember. Anyway, it's a really creative name, and I likey.**

**Response to OliviaLively: YESHHHHH! YOU WON THE CHALLENGE! Actually, it wasn't much of a challange... it was just me being lazy. OH MY GOSH! Paper cran mobiles? I had the same idea for my room! Of course, I'm too lazy to carry out the plan now, but maybe when I'm older and have my own place? Seriously, I've always loved that idea. Kudos for thinking of it, too. Hehehe, sadly, after I became single again I had to go straight off to camp, so the only idea of yours I had to take up was the XXX vitamin water. It's good. And thanks for all your awesome reviews! They really brighten up my day!**

**And... that bring us to the end of this installment. I promise to update sooner than two weeks this time! Seriously, I mean it. Like, with every fiber of my being I will write the next chapter. And immediately after posting this one, too. Because that's just how I roll.**

**-Kanon ;D**


	8. To Write Love, part one

**Hey, guys! I bet you didn't expect me back so soon! But anyways, I've been getting a lot of complaints about how short my chapters have been getting lately, so I'm gonna work harder to make sure I have at least two thousand words in each chapter. And I don't know how this chapter might seem to you guys, but it's about 2.5 thousand words, and I hope that's good enough. **

**Soooo, we're starting off with the night of the concert Ikuto invited Amu to, where she has to sneak out x). Here, Amu's wearing a cute little purple dress I picked out for her, and I wanted you guys to be able to envision it perfectly, so I added this link for you! :DDDD**

**H t t p : / / k 4 . S t y l e f e e d e r . n e t / t h u m b / b 0 / 6 2 / b 0 6 2 7 2 6 c c e 3 b b 0 9 4 d 1 b a d 2 5 e 1 0 7 b 6 4 c 7 6 2 b d 4 6 1 b - 2 0 0 . J p g**

**Copy, paste, and remove the spaces darlings. I love you all so much. I hope you love this chapter (lol, I'm so shallow).**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu<strong>... _The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Eight**… _Kaka Reta Ai: To Write Love, part one_

**Tags: **_little sister, TV, promise, streetlight, stars, blush, make-up, older, younger, drive, smile, secrets._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

Tonight was the night.

For the concert, anyway. Amu's parents were off on a date together, which left her to baby-sit Ami. Now, babysitting Ami wasn't too hard (the kid was nine years old, for crying out loud), but the question was, how was she supposed to sneak out to the concert if Ami wouldn't go to bed. Earlier that day, Amu and Ikuto had agreed that he would pick her up at the corner of her street at eleven, but seeing as her watch read _10:45pm_ and Ami _still _wasn't in bed, Amu thought that she might have to say goodbye to her plans.

"Please go to bed, Ami!" she pleaded, desperate this time.

But her little sister wouldn't budge. Ami stayed put on the couch, watching a rerun of her favorite TV show. Amu _knew _that she probably had every line memorized, because she _herself _had witnessed Ami watch it about ten million times already.

"Why?" Ami whined, taking the remote and turning the volume up.

"Because I said so," Amu crossed her arms. "Mom and dad put me in charge, Ami. You have to do what I say."

Ami shrugged her off. "No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't!"

Amu sighed, plopping down onto the arm of the coach. She'd tried everything to get her sister to go to bed, but nothing was working. So she opted for the one thing that'd always worked for her in the past. The truth.

"Ami," she nearly whispered. "I'm gonna tell you a secret, okay?"

Now Ami was interested. She turned the volume all the way down, eager to hear what her big sister had to say. Amu had to smile as she grabbed a couch pillow, hugging it to herself; sometimes she forgot how young Ami really was. "Tell me!"

"Well," Amu bit her lip, wondering whether or not this was the right thing to do. "I'm going to do something bad, okay?"

Ami widened her big, brown eyes. "Why?"

"It's not really bad, though." Amu brushed a few strands of bubblegum-colored hair out of her face. "It's just bad for mom and dad to find out. Do you understand?"

And then, in that solitary moment, something clicked in Hinamori Ami's mind. Something that she wished she could've forgotten. Something that made her eyes start to water just at the mere thought of it. "Amu-chan," her voice hit a heartbreaking edge. "You're not going to start… doing _that_… again, are you?"

"No, no!" Amu said quickly. She wasn't even going to pretend that she didn't understand, because she did. "That's not what's happening at all, Ami. I'm just… going to go somewhere tonight. And I won't be back until the morning."

"Where are you going?" Ami sniffled, sounding relieved.

"Out to a concert."

"Okay," Ami nodded. "So… you want me to go to bed and cover for you?"

Amu's face brightened immensely. Sometimes, she didn't know what she'd do without Ami. "Would you do that for me?"

"Sure," Ami nodded. Then, she released her grasp on the couch pillow, picking up the remote and turning the TV off. "Good night, Amu-chan," she said, wrapping her arms around her big sister's neck.

Amu hugged her back. "Good night, Ami."

"You know," Ami whispered, unwilling to let go. "I really thought you were going to start _that _again. I was scared."

Amu pulled away, looking her sister in the eyes. Even amidst all the lies that were floating in the air, she knew that she could count on Ami to know the truth. To know and to _believe_. That was the best part about little kids. They didn't know how to doubt.

"Never again, Ami. Never again."

And that was a promise.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

The air hung humidly outside. As Amu stepped onto the sidewalk, she felt a rush of excitement fill her. She had never been a particularly 'wild child', so to be able to sneak out like this? It was almost unreal. She felt as if she were in some sort of movie… the anticipation was nearly killing her.

With the emotional support of the stars above her, she continued to walk down the sidewalk. The Hinamori's were about three houses from the corner, so she could already see Ikuto's car up ahead of her. That was enough to make her start sprinting towards it (thank goodness she'd decided to wear simple flats). It was approaching eleven-thirty, and the sky was growing darker and darker as it drew closer to midnight, but thanks to the corner street light, it didn't matter.

It illuminated her getaway ticket, her great escape, just a few short strides away from her. It put a blinding spotlight on Ikuto, who leaned his back against the glistening paint coat on his car. Amu almost didn't want to disturb him; he looked so peaceful, staring up at the sky that way. But her excitement got the better of her.

"Hey!" she called, waving to him.

She expected him to jump, or at least _look _surprised, seeing as it was the dreadfully Ikuto-ish thing to do. But he didn't, which kind of shocked her. Instead, once he'd registered who it was that'd shouted to him, he smiled.

"Hey." Ikuto stood up straight, waiting with his hands in his pockets.

Amu stopped right in front of him, making a note of their painful height difference. The top of her head barely reached his shoulders. Never the less, she was happy to see him. "I told you I'd make it out."

"I don't remember doubting you," Ikuto jerked his head towards the car. She nodded in response, gingerly following him around to the passenger's seat. Amu remembered feeling pretty grown up when he opened the door for her.

"You look nice," he told her.

"Don't be polite," she made a face at him, looking down at what she was wearing. "It'll ruin it for me."

In truth, Amu _did _look rather nice that night. She wore a purple, spaghetti-strapped dress that hung at her knees, with a black headband in her hair and plain black ballerina flats. For accessories, she wore a black wristband, her watch (of course), a pair of purple butterfly earrings, and the silver butterfly ring Tadase had given her. She didn't dare go anywhere without it. But no matter how she could've dressed herself up, she wouldn't have taken a compliment from Ikuto anyway.

"Fine," he replied as she hopped into the passenger seat. "That dress makes you look fat."

"Ikuto!" Up until that point, Amu hadn't heard a single mean thing hang from his mouth. But perhaps that was only because they didn't know each other that well. Amu felt as if, now that they'd had two phone conversations, they knew each other a lot better. Why, they were practically 'friends'.

Ikuto laughed at the shocked face Amu was making as he shut her door, walking around the car to the driver's seat. Amu, however, was having some second thoughts about the concert as she sat alone in the car. The seats were comfortable leather and everything was hauntingly clean, so she couldn't use _that _as an excuse to go back home. And it definitely wasn't because she didn't like Ikuto, because she did. She thought he was interesting. But sneaking out like this didn't seem _right _or even _good _to her, as she looked ahead through the windshield. There were very few stars in the Seiyo sky, but the ones that were there begged her to stay. _What would I do if I went home? _she asked herself. The truth was, she didn't know.

Which was, as she heard the sound of driver's door opening, the only reason Amu didn't leave. Because she didn't know how.

But there were some bigger issues on the front as Ikuto got into the car.

"Does this dress really make me look fat?" she asked him, desperate for the answer.

Ikuto chuckled again, closing the car door. "You know, I'm getting mixed signals from you. First you tell me not to be nice, and now you're freaking out because I listened to you."

"I'm not freaking out!" she crossed her arms, watching him put on his seatbelt.

Ikuto reached down, starting up the car with the keys that were already in the ignition. "You look fine, I promise. Put on your seatbelt."

Amu obeyed, pulling down the strap from behind her and making sure that it clicked into the right spot. Now they were back into that happy Japanese-person silence that Amu was so fond of. She looked out of the window as Ikuto began to turn the corner they'd been parked at. The whole idea of her doing what she was doing: sneaking out when she was grounded to go to a concert with a boy she barely knew? It was crazy. Hilarious, even. But she promised herself not to think about it.

"So," she began as they drove down the dark streets of her neighborhood. "How old are you, Ikuto? Eighteen?" She guessed this because, of course, he was driving. And if he wasn't breaking the law, then _clearly _he was eighteen.

Ikuto checked his rearview mirror. "Close. I'll be twenty in December."

Amu knew that being nineteen wasn't too different from being eighteen, but just hearing him say it made her eyes widen. She hadn't expected him to be that much older than her. "Wow. You're practically an old man."

"I guess so," he admitted, shrugging off an almost-laugh. "How old are you?"

"I'll be sixteen in September," Amu announced shamelessly, a childlike smile on her face. Nothing was going to take the joy away from almost being sixteen, not even the embarrassment of being so young.

Ikuto seemed pretty surprised. "Wow." But he still had the audacity to mock her. "You're practically a little kid."

"I guess so," she played along. "Are you ever gonna tell me who's playing at this concert we're going to?"

"Nope." He shook his head, smirking.

There was something so _there _about Ikuto, Amu decided, as she watched him. As if he was hiding something so obvious that it was invisible to her. It was killing her, too; she wanted to know. She wanted to know what made his navy hair so shiny, and what made his eyes so incredible, and most of all, what made him decide to come into _Hana no Kokoro _on that day, at the perfect time. There was a definite answer to all of those questions.

"It's impolite to stare, you know," Ikuto now said, a grin on his face as he made a right turn.

Amu blinked. Had she been staring? _Probably_, she thought, while her cheeks were busy turning pink. "Keep your eyes on the road."

"Somehow, I thought you'd be nicer than this," Ikuto joked (or at least, Amu _hoped _he was joking).

Amu glanced back out of the window. But this time, her focus was on the rearview mirror. Amu scowled at her own reflection; her skin was so pale and plain… it clashed with her pastel-colored hair. Maybe if she was wearing make-up she would've looked a little older. Or prettier. But not now; all she was wearing was a thin coat of chapstick. And it wasn't enough, it seemed. She was still as much of a kid as she'd been _before_ she'd snuck out.

"You okay?" Ikuto asked her, peeling his eyes away from the road ahead to look at her.

Amu looked over at him, painting on the little smile she was so good at faking. "Yeah. I just… can't wait to get there…"

"Okay," he nodded, smiling.

Then Amu nearly had a heart attack; she recognized the look on his face.

That fake smile, that painted on smile. She had _perfected _it. And the only way you could possibly understand it was if you'd gone through true pain. From the look on Ikuto's face, Amu knew that he didn't believe her. That he knew she was lying about only being excited for the concert… there was something more. And as soon as she saw that smile, she almost broke down in tears; she was so relieved.

Relieved to know that somebody else was in pain. That she wasn't the only one who'd never been okay.

And suddenly, she realized that she had something to hide.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

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><p><strong>Woohoo! Part one of one of the most important chapters so far is down! Now, all I have to do is part two, and then everyhting'll be pretty much cleared up. If you guys are seriously confused about anything, you won't be after these two chapters. But then again, you could just ask me all your questions...! <strong>

**Anyways, here are the responses to my lovely reviews!**

**Response to Mi-chan42: O.O ... I don't know what to think of that. I'm glad you like my story, though. Hopefully, I'll be able to finish this and maybe make a little companion fic? I don't know :). **

**Response to kittyallstars: Thank you very much. And yes, she's sneaking out x).**

**Response to thexlittlexlisa: Ahhh, I'm sorry. You would be wrong to think that it's Ikuto who's performing. Sorry. But I think I just gave away who it really is... xp.**

**Response to xxxUtauloverxxx: I know what you mean. I feel really bad about it, too :). Yes, it's almost exactly like a date... they just don't know it yet. Shhhh, don't tell them!**

**Response to OliviaLively: Sounds like you and your sister have a great relationship (and by 'great' I mean 'criminal' XD). I don't know what I would do without my Haru-chan... she keeps me laughing when I feel crappy. I would agree, though, scrapbook paper is rather hard to fold. And I'm sorry... I'll try to make my chapters a bit logner! And I hope you have a good time making cranes with your friends :).**

**Response to FBGoldfish: I have to say, all the Shugo Chara guys ARE great, but Kukai is my favorite by far. He's just so... cool, you know? Awww, thanks. I appreciate your support.**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Oh, how I do love getting your reviews. Hehehe, you're catching on with the whole butterfly thing. Amu has some deep issues having to do with Tadase and that ring, which ties in with the 'thing' she keeps talking about. I know you're confused, but it'll all be cleared up soon! Thanks for yet another great review!**

**Response to ChocoTaiyaki121: Aha, I knew it. So... you're an Ikuto fan? LOL, as if it's not already obvious. And thanks for the compliment.**

**Hehehe, I never know what to say in these little comments at the end of my chapters. I guess I just wanna say that I'm trying my best to update all my stories consistently, and if you'll just be patient with me, I bet we'll both be satisfied with how the story turns out. I mean, I have the whole plot planned out, I just don't have the short-term, chapter-by-chapter thing worked out. But trust me, all will end well!**

**-Kanon ;D**


	9. On Her Arms, part two

**Here's another chapter for you guys. I've been out for the past few days because I've been chilling with my best friend, and she lives in another city, so I had no access to my files. But here's the latest chapter! I, personally, think it's not that good. But I tried my best, so I hope you appreciate it!**

**Thanks for being so great and patient with me!**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu<strong>... _The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Nine**… _Kanojo no Ude no Ue De: On Her Arms, part two_

**Tags:** _midnight, crazy straw, tattoo, moment, confusing, last name, amazing._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

It was approaching midnight.

Amu sat restlessly in her seat, her anticipation building. They'd finally made it to the concert hall, her and Ikuto, and now all they could do was wait. After much struggle and a little bit of arguing, they'd chosen third-row seats a little farther towards the middle than Ikuto would've liked (_"But it doesn't matter what _you _want," _Amu had joked), but he was happy regardless. Or at least, he was pretending to be. But now, they were just talking together, finishing off the drinks they'd bought on their way in, and sitting beneath the stars in the roofless stadium.

"I'm a little excited," Amu admitted, raising her voice to be heard. It was terribly loud in the concert hall, what with the constant words of everyone else floating around. "Maybe it's just that fact that you won't tell me who's performing."

"All in good time," Ikuto replied mockingly. Then, he paused, only to take a sip of his drink. Amu watched him, wondering how a nearly grown man could make sipping through a crazy straw look so dignified. Then she remembered that he _was _a grown man.

"I have a guess, though," she put a finger up, waving him off.

Ikuto put his drink down with a sigh. "No."

Amu's face crumbled instantly. "I'm not allowed to guess?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Ikuto looked at her all sideways and such, killing her with those cold, dark eyes. Even when he was being funny, he still had a serious air to him. "Because if you guessed right, what would I have left to do with my life?"

"Are you always this dramatic?" Amu teased. Chuckling, she lifted her side-swept bangs with the back of her hand, only to let them fall back over her forehead directly after.

But it was while she was doing this that Ikuto noticed something. On the inside of her forearm, towards her wrist, was a mark of some sort. He couldn't quite tell what it was, but he knew he saw it.

And Amu knew he saw it too, which was why she immediately drew her arm back, picking up her drink with her opposite hand inconspicuously.

"What's that?" he asked.

Amu laughed nervously, closing her lips around the straw in her drink. "Nothing," she mumbled into it.

"Lying is a sin," Ikuto narrowed his eyes.

Amu shrugged. "I don't doubt that."

"Was it a tattoo?"

"Uh…" she faltered. "Um, yeah. Yeah, it was."

"Lemme see," he ordered, giving her his full attention.

Amu sighed, rolling her eyes. All of her life she'd been praying to countless sources for more attention, and now that she was getting it, she cursed the heavens for messing up her request. But now all she could do was extend her arm again, revealing the markings on the inside of her arm.

It was a large, dark brownish outline of a butterfly. Ikuto blinked; something looked so _natural _about it… it didn't quite seem like a tattoo. He then noticed how familiar that particular butterfly looked. Maybe he had seen it somewhere else? The intricate detail…

"It's the same butterfly that's on your ring," Ikuto commented.

Amu nodded, too embarrassed to say anything. She hadn't counted on talking about this to Ikuto just yet.

But thankfully, Ikuto had nothing left to say about it. He only folded his hands behind his head, sinking comfortably into his seat. "I can't believe I didn't see the tattoo before," he mumbled, almost to himself.

And Amu would've said more, but before she could muster the confidence to say a word, the lights in the roofless concert hall dimmed. Suddenly, the air around them became as dark as the night sky above them. Amu clasped her hands together; she knew the concert was about to start. And with that, she wished her nervousness away by convincing herself that she was excited to see who was performing. Too excited to care that Ikuto had found out about the Butterfly on Her Wrist.

As soon as the lights dimmed, the crowd went absolutely wild. Whoever it was who was singing had to be pretty popular. _So who is it?_

And in the midst of the pitch blackness and constant screaming, the music started to play. That definitely seemed to calm everyone down, but not by much. Amu exchanged a slow glance with Ikuto; thus, their first silent conversation was born.

_I think I know who's playing._

_No, you don't._

_Damn._

But somehow, as Amu listened to the first few bars of guitar, she couldn't help but think she'd heard this song before. And it was further confirmed when the drums kicked in and the stage lights flashed on. There was the band playing, each standing at their different corners, with the singer positioned in the exact center of the stage. Amu thought she looked incredibly familiar with that long, blonde hair. But it was only when she looked up that Amu realized just who the singer really was.

"It's Utau," she whispered to herself. And it was.

Utau, Ikuto's little sister, standing up on stage with a microphone in her hand. Amu's mouth hung open as she watched Utau do a little dance, having fun moving to her own music.

"_Tell me," _Utau sang, bringing the microphone up to her face. The crowd went wild at the sound of the voice. _"The object of your desire. The thing you want the most."_

Amu leaned over to Ikuto, a smile playing across her lips. "You never told me your sister's a singer!" she whispered.

"Are you surprised?" Ikuto whispered back.

She nodded. "Very. Is that why you wouldn't tell me who was performing?"

"Sort of." Ikuto paused for a second, before he whispered, "I wanted to be surprised, too."

Sometimes Amu didn't understand the things Ikuto said. But instead of asking, she just listened to the music. _Now _she remembered where she'd heard this song. Kukai was always playing it in his car, no matter whether he was driving it or not. Thus, it soon made the list of the many things Rima and Nagihiko could be seen arguing about (they had different views on who produced the song).

And thanks to Kukai, Amu was able to find the words to sing along when Utau reached the chorus.

"_So, what is it that you want?" _Utau's beautiful voice rang strong and clear. She didn't even need backup singers. _"What are you looking for?"_

Amu got shivers just by watching her. Utau walked down the runway, microphone in hand, as if she ruled the world. And the emotion she put into that song… why, it was almost like the look Ikuto got sometimes. When his eyes went dark and blank, and she _knew _he was remembering something.

"_You've lost your sparkle, it slips through your fingers," _Amu sang softly, drowned out by Utau's strong voice and the cheering of her fans.

Utau then leaned down, touching the hands of the people that reached up to her. It baffled Amu how she could maneuver around in that little black dress and those high heeled shoes. And that voice… my God, was she talented!

And then it happened.

During a break in the song, Utau straightened up, preparing to walk back up to the stage, but then she caught sight of them. Amu and Ikuto, that was. For a moment, she froze. Amu didn't know what to do, so she just waved. Utau didn't wave back.

Instead, she just smiled. And it was then that Amu realized that it wasn't _her _the popstar was staring at; it was Ikuto. The music continued as a look passed between the two siblings. Amu felt as if the moment was private; Utau… she looked _so _happy to see him. It was almost heartbreaking. There Amu was, standing in the stadium, barely knowing either one of these people. She felt as if she didn't belong.

And then Utau waved back at her. Suddenly, Amu felt as if the whole universe had just shattered beneath her feet. Even the stars danced in that moment, when the singer took the time to acknowledge her, someone so insignificant in comparison. Someone so unworthy.

Then the moment was over. Utau forced herself to tear her eyes away, continuing to sing to her faithful audience. And for the rest of the night, she never looked to the third row again.

But Amu was okay with that. Because she'd had her moment.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

The rest of the concert carried on in the same way for the rest of the night. Utau sang a couple more songs, did some dancing (she was actually really good), and even invited people up onto the stage with her. _I have to admit_, Amu said to herself later, _I really enjoyed it._

But she couldn't help but wonder… about everything. About Utau, about Ikuto, about Tadase, about herself. What was anything really about? What was Ikuto really about? She was determined to find out, she resolved, starting on that night. Even as they were leaving, she was _still _ranting about the concert.

"Holy crap, Ikuto," she complained. "You could've told me your sister was a _popstar_."

Ikuto smirked at her. "Now where's the fun in _that_? And she's not a popstar. She's just my little sister."

Amu stared down at her shoes as they walked, listening to the sound of her steps scraping against the gravel of the parking lot. It was dark outside, but the moon was bright enough to illuminate the fact that he was smirking at her.

"Well, you could've told me she was your sister, at least," she mumbled.

"I admit," he chuckled. "I should've told you _that_. Don't know why I didn't."

Amu came to a halt, making a face at him. "Ikuto, you're the most confusing person I'veever met."

Ikuto stopped alongside her, shoving his hands into his pockets. "The same goes for you."

"There's the car," she pointed ahead. Sure enough, there was Ikuto's car, sitting underneath yet another streetlight. Amu nearly bounded for it; it was three o' clock in the morning, and she was kind of tired. She'd had enough excitement for one night. "And I'm not confusing!" she shouted over her shoulder.

Ikuto sighed. "I'm not racing you."

"So that means I win!" she replied triumphantly.

"But I'm not racing you."

"So I win."

"You're right," Ikuto chuckled, as she waited for him to get to the car. When he did, she stuck her tongue out at him, eager for him to unlock the doors. "You won. So did you have a good time?"

_The greatest time, _the more reasonable part of Amu's mind said. "Yes, I did." At least her mouth met her halfway this time.

Ikuto unlocked the doors, watching Amu scramble to get inside the car thereafter. He shook his head, opening his own door and settling into the comfortable leather seat. It seemed odd that the night was over, he thought. But he was glad that Amu had a good time. That was the whole point of going out on that night; he'd needed a little excitement. Something to remind him that things were okay now. And he'd sensed that it was what Amu needed, too.

"Now," Amu said, looking him straight in the eyes. "You must drive. Drive faster than the wind has ever taken us."

Ikuto raised an eyebrow. "You're tired, aren't you?"

"It's very possible."

He chuckled, starting up the car. The sound of the engine made Amu a little sad, however disoriented she was. It told her that her one night of adventure was coming to an end. It told her that she would have to get up in the morning and do the same things she did every single day, say the same things, cry the same tears she did every once in a while. But most of all, it reminded her that this was _real_. Everything she had done that night was _real_. And it was her secret to keep.

"Tsukiyomi Ikuto," Ikuto suddenly said, startling her a bit. "Tsukiyomi is my last name."

Amu blinked. It hadn't occurred to her that she didn't know Ikuto's last name. What an amazing concept. She had snuck out of her house at _midnight _to go to a concert with a guy, when she didn't even know his last name! Her mother would be so ashamed! And oddly enough, that made Amu smile.

"Hinamori Amu," she supplied, a bit sleepily.

Ikuto nodded, looking back for a second so he could pull out of their parking space. "Hinamori Amu, huh? Usually, girls with names like that don't have tattoos."

"I'm not proud of it," Amu snapped.

Ikuto exhaled, a thoughtful look on his face. "I wouldn't think so."

"But, Tsukiyomi Ikuto?" Amu felt a little bad about snapping at him. But that didn't stop her from taking pride in using his last name for the first time.

"Yeah?"

"Your sister is amazing."

Ikuto paused, checking his rearview mirror as they exited the parking lot.

"I know she is."

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

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><p><strong>So, anyways... guys, I'm sorry. But we have no review responses for today. I just don't feel up to it, you know?<strong>

**... HAHA, GOT YOU! No, we're _totally _doing review responses today. Here they are!**

**Response to (no penname): I think I got it down pretty solid. Amu and Ikuto are about four and a half years apart, since by the end of the series she's 13 and he's still 17. Well, I don't know. But I'm glad you like my story! :D**

**Response to Adeline-Eveline: She's not relieved that Ikuto knows pain, she's relieved that she's not the only one. You see the difference? Or maybe I was unclear? I hope I wasn't. D:**

**Response to xxToxicMemoryxx: Yeah, sometimes Ami and Amu get along, and sometimes they don't. I'm glad that one scene had that affect on you, though. It makes me feel so happy! And yeah, you'll get to hear later on about the pain Amu and Ikuto have gone through. They basically have the same kind of issues, they just came about in different ways. You'll have to keep reading to see exactly what their problem is. Thanks for the review!**

**Response to kittyallstars: Awwww, that's so awesome :D. And you'll find out what's wrong with Amu. She actually has some deep, psychological issues. But that's all I'm gonna say.**

**Response to ChocoTaiyaki121: I figured as much. ^-^**

**Response to BubblyAng3l: Yeah, I get told that a lot. The same goes for people wanting to know about Amu's 'thing'. But all in good time, love. Actually, very soon :D.**

**Response to Mi-chan42: I do that with _all _my reviewers! Because I hate it when you review on somebody's story, asking a question, and then they never respond! So I respond to ALL of my reviews, because you guys deserve an answer to all the love you give me! You're just so great! :D And thanks.**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Ummmm... your assumptions about the chapter were... colorful? o.0 But thanks for the comments about the chapter! I appreciate everything you have to say, I really do. Your reviews brighten up my world! (lol, that was cheesey!).**

**Thanks to all my reviewers, and all my readers! Even the ones who didn't review, I still love you (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, MISS OLIVIA LIVELY! ;D). JK, I luff you Livliv.**

**And... that's all? I guess so. I don't beg for reviews, so... yeah x).**

**-Kanon ;D**


	10. Mark

**Woohoo! Two updates in less than twenty-four hours! Aren't you proud of me? Lawl, I'm pretty proud of myself. Anyways, let's not talk about me. Let's talk about you!**

**Is there anything you think this story is lacking? Like, something you'd like to see in future chapters? I mean, there's gonna be some Rimahiko development, and some Kutau too. But um... I suppose that's all. I just wanna hear all the things you have to say, because I love hearing from you guys. Also, I want your opinions... don't just be nice. Tell me the honest truth.**

**I've got a surprise for you after the review responses in the end A/N :D.**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu<strong>... _The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Ten**… _Maku: Mark_

**Tags:** _lunch, tree, butterfly, Tadase, school counselor, parents._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

If there was one thing Amu didn't do, it was start trouble.

Which is why, after her advanced math class, she headed straight off to lunch. She knew that no one at school would know about her and Ikuto, but why take a chance? What if she accidentally let something slip and it got back to her parents? Talk about a horrifying experience. But no, Amu only wanted to keep a low profile, well, _everywhere_. There was no reason to talk about the concert when she'd gotten away with it so effortlessly! Her parents never even noticed that she'd been gone.

But now she was tired. It took all of her strength to keep from collapsing in advanced math, and now she had to make it through lunch with her friends? Nearly impossible. But Amu tried, anyway. She always did.

Today, like any other day, Amu ate outside the cafeteria for lunch. They always sat underneath the same tree in the schoolyard, and no one ever dared to mess with their traditional. It was the only thing about them that was remotely _traditional_, Amu thought inwardly.

"Amu-chan, did you hear me?"

Amu blinked; apparently, Rima had been talking to her. In addition, Kukai and Nagihiko were now suddenly interested in her too.

"I'm, uh… sorry," Amu apologized, suppressing a yawn. "What did you say?"

Rima exchanged a glance with Nagihiko, and then with Kukai. Amu swallowed hard as Rima turned back to her, putting down her container of spaghetti.

"Alright, what's wrong?" she asked.

Amu tried to play dumb. "What do you mean?"

"You've been acting weird all day." Nagi narrowed his eyes, suspiciously pointing his fork in her direction.

"I don't know what you mean." She crossed her arms.

Rima sighed. "If you're gonna be immature about it, then forget it."

Amu very gingerly brought her amber eyes to meet Kukai's. She knew that he understood why she was so tired, or else he would've been picking on her, too. Kukai responded by raising an eyebrow, taking a bite out of his slice of pizza. Amu now felt safe enough to look away.

And Rima had observed to whole ordeal.

"Do you and Amu-chan have a secret you'd like to share?" she asked Kukai.

"Nope." He shook his head.

Amu breathed a sigh of relief; she could always count on Kukai to rescue her. However, there were always some things he couldn't always protect her from. Like, for instance, an angry Rima.

"Just tell me!" she whined. "Why do you have to be all stupid about it?"

"Rima-chan," Nagi warned.

"Whatever," she snapped.

He seemed wounded by her words. "Why're you so mean?"

"I'm not mean."

"You're vicious, then?"

"Now _you're _being mean."

"So you admit that you were being mean?"

Amu groaned as Rima and Nagihiko continued to carry on. Why was it that every single thing that happened always led to one of their fights? It was a really unhealthy relationship. But then Amu thought, _I would know. I suffered from one for years. _

"I think they're gonna be at this for a while," Amu said to Kukai, amidst the shouts of the other two friends she loved.

Kukai nodded sadly. "And just when I thought they were gonna be good."

Amu smiled, getting lost in his emerald eyes for a moment. One day, he was going to make some girl pretty lucky. "Thanks for forcing me to go to the concert," she almost whispered. It wasn't like the needed to, though. What with Rima and Nagi still going at it.

"I just wanted you to have fun." He shrugged. "You've gotten kind of boring since…"

Amu flinched.

"Since the butterfly," Kukai finished quickly. He knew that she didn't like to talk about her past, however painful it must've been for her. She had to have someone to look out for her, and since Tadase hadn't been around, it was his job. "Hey," he said now.

"Yes?" Amu's voice was softer than it'd been before.

"Tell that blue-haired guy to keep his distance," Kukai joked. "And if he ever breaks your heart, I'll beat him up." He closed his case by cracking his knuckles, trying and failing to look threatening.

Amu laughed. What would she do without her goofball, immature, captain of the soccer team Kukai? She'd have probably been long gone by now. "We're not seeing each other, Kukai-nii."

"You weren't seeing Hotori-kun either," Kukai reminded her. "But that didn't mean anything when you started-"

"Don't say it," Amu snapped. "I don't wanna talk about it."

Kukai sighed. He knew that Amu was sensitive about The Thing That Shall Not Be Named. He felt bad just making her talk about it now. "I'm sorry."

And she was just about to reply when…

"_Amu-chan?"_

Amu nearly jumped at the sound of her name. If it'd been another voice, she would've expected it to be a teacher or something. But not now; oh, she knew _this _voice. She'd spent many nights crying over this voice, worrying about the person it belonged to. She could blame so many things on the person standing behind her, but she didn't. She was too good for that.

"Tadase-kun?" Amu slowly, timidly turned around. She was afraid of what she would feel if she was wrong.

But she was right.

"Tadase-kun!" Amu practically leaped up off of the ground, throwing her arms around Tadase's neck. He was her best friend, after all. And she didn't get to see him a lot.

Tadase gave some of the best hugs. Ever. "Hey, Amu-chan."

Amu sighed, burying her face in his neck. Blonde hair, crimson eyes, and a tee shirt that forever smelled brand new. Those were some of the things she missed about him when he was gone. Among others, of course. "You know," she said to him. "Sometimes I forget that you go to this school."

Tadase pulled away, looking her straight in the eyes. "I know. We never get to see each other."

"And who's fault is that, Mr. Class President?" she crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow playfully.

"I admit, that one's all me," he threw his hands up. As if he'd been caught by the police. For what, Amu didn't know. "But, I went looking for you today because we never really talked about our deal."

"Our deal?" Amu was confused. The last time she'd seen Tadase was when he visited to flower shop, and she didn't remember him saying anything about a deal.

Tadase smiled shyly. Amu nearly melted; he was so cute sometimes. Scratching the back of his head, he looked down, trying to mask the heat that was rising to his cheeks. "I, um… wanted to know if you'd go out to dinner with me. If you want."

"Of course," Amu accepted. She played off 'keeping it cool' really well, but on the inside she was jumping for joy. Or maybe she was jumping for joy on the outside too, because she noticed Kukai giving her a funny look from underneath the tree. She also noticed that Rima and Nagihiko had stopped fighting long enough to listen in.

"Great," Tadase seemed relieved. As if he thought she was going to say no, or something. "How about Saturday?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Well… I'll see you, Amu-chan," he gave her a small waving gesture, walking backwards for a bit.

"I'll see you, Tadase-kun," Amu waved as Tadase turned around, continuing to walk away.

And Amu was truly happy. Lying in the afterglow of Tadase's voice, she'd gotten what she'd always wanted. It was so comforting that she could've fainted. But, of course, there was always something to ruin her perfect moments. Always.

"Now _that's _how you ask a girl out, purple-head."

"RIMA-CHAN!"

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

Here Amu was, sitting in the school counselor's office again. Nikaido Yuu was his name, and it seemed like looking after Amu was his game. They'd been doing this once a week for a few months now. It was starting to seem normal, which sort of scared her. But Amu felt like no one else was easier to talk to. So every week, on whichever day she felt it necessary, she quietly slipped into the counselor's office, making sure not to be seen. Her parents were already treating her like a 'special case', so she didn't need the kids at school to think that they needed to.

"You're in a good mood," Yuu observed, a little warily.

And Amu was. She could barely keep still in her seat. "Good things are happening," she shrugged gleefully.

"Okay, you're scaring me," he deadpanned. "What 'good things'?"

"Well, Tadase-kun's back in my life," she replied quickly. Amu now stayed perfectly still, afraid of what he would say. There were a thousand different reactions to the situation, but she could pretty much peg how he would feel about it. Basically, they way _all _adults would feel if they knew her story.

"_Hotori _Tadase?" Yuu sighed tiredly, putting an elbow on the table in between them. To keep himself awake, he positioned his chin in his upturned palm, determined to listen to his most interesting patient. "Isn't he the boy who started… everything?"

"You know perfectly well who started everything, Nikaido-san." Amu frowned, thinking of her parents.

Yuu nodded. "Parents aside, Tadase was the one who kept your problem going."

"But… he's my friend," her voice became quiet. There was always water up north to rain on her parade. No matter what.

"I'm not saying that you can't have a good time, Himamori-san." Amu flinched at the little nickname Yuu had given her. "I'm just warning you… I don't think Tadase being in your life again is good for you. Not until you're better."

"But what if I _am _better?" Amu asked, her voice breaking. Frantically, she pulled up the sleeve on her jacket, revealing the butterfly that rested on the inside of her arm. "Is this what you're talking about?"

Yuu was quiet. It took him a moment to adjust. Every time he saw the Butterfly on Her Arm, it was like it was brand new. He could still remember when it was fresh, still red with blood, when Amu cried just _looking _at it…

Amu yanked down her sleeve, confident that her point had been made. "Just because you see it doesn't mean it's there."

"And I get what you mean by that," Yuu sighed, rubbing his temples. "Look, how do your parents feel about you seeing Tadase again?"

"They don't know yet," she admitted.

"Then if you think that going out with Tadase is gonna be a good idea, you should tell them," he pushed. "Test yourself."

"Why?"

"Because, Amu."

Amu shifted uncomfortably. Yuu almost never called her by her first name.

"Self-injury isn't just a mark you can wipe off."

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

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><p><strong>Erm... here's the review responses, I suppose. x)<strong>

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Yesh, Dramatic Ikuto has the exact same affect on me as Dramatic Squirrel. AGH! YOU'RE CATCHING ON! I can't tell you too much about the tattoo though, so you'll just have to wait to find out what's up with it. Yeah... they had the conversation through their eyes xD (that's so weird to say). And I think it's safe to say that Kukai likes Utau's music... a lot. Thanks! I liked the racing bit, too. LOLREALLY? It was ten o' clock when I did the last three lines, and I was really tired (I'd gotten up really early that morning), so I just threw together some nonsense words and tried to make it sound profound. I guess I worked :). **

**Response to pie-chi: Awwww! ^-^ Thanks so much! I suppose you now know what's wrong with Amu-chan. But that's not even the half of it... there's plenty of other stuff for you to not know about. Thanks for the review, honey! :DDDD**

**Response to thexlittlexlisa: Thanks. But I'll let you in on a secret... I'm kind of behind on where I want to be in this story. It's sort of depressing me... but I'll catch up somehow. And don't worry, there's plenty more developement for you to read about! Thank you for an awesome review.**

**Response to OliviaLively: Of little words today, I see. But sorry for calling you out like that in my last A/N... I hope you still love me?**

**Response to HoneyDukesFan: Aw, shucks. You guys are killin' me here! :)**

**Response to addmison2: Neither can I, darlin'. **

**Okay, now that I'm done with the review responses, here's the surprise I promised you all...**

**I'M MAKING A COMPANION FIC!**

**Yeah, I definitely am. For those of you who might not know what a companion story is, it's a story that's not a sequel or prequel to another story... they take place at the same time, or at least concern each other. It's like, two stories going along together. **

**The companion fic I'm writing will be called "Futatabi no Geijutsu," which means "The Art of Second Chances." It's Rimahiko, and it's about Rima and Nagihiko volunteering in the hospital together. Basically, Rima makes friends with a certain patient she meets while in between tasks, and they become friends. Once I publish it, you'll see that story and this one interloping and going through one another at some times. **

**So what do you think of the idea? Cool bananas, right? **

**-Kanon ;D**


	11. Nevermind

**Who's the person who's on an updating roll? Well, it's this gal right here ;D. This chapter is kinda like a filler, but it's setting down the building blocks for some stuff that's gonna blow your mind (lol, not really). The _real _reason I wanted to update so quickly is because I have something critical I want to share with you guys!**

**So... there's been some buzz around the internet that the Peach-pit people have released a statement. I don't have the exact words, but they were pretty much telling us that everything we know about Ikuto is a lie. Apparently, in the English version of the manga, something got lost in the translation when he tells Amu that he's a senior. They're saying that a word got left out, a very crucial Japanese word that tells us he's a MIDDLE SCHOOL senior, but more. Like, he's just about to enter high school or something. Which makes him _fourteen_ and not seventeen. And that makes Utau about thirteen or so, since she was originally only about a year younger than him in the manga.**

**I'm not saying it's true. But I, personally, would like to see what all these crazy Amuto fans/writers are gonna do now that they know that Ikuto might only be two years older than Amu, as opposed to five. Which would make sense, seeing as we never actually read (or heard) him say anything about college, or legally being an adult soon, or _driving _for that matter. **

**Things could start to get really interesting around here...**

**-Kanon ;D**

* * *

><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Eleven... **_Yoji: Nevermind_

**Tags: **_unfair, Tuesday, trust, siblings, books, girlfriend, texting, sleep-over._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

"This is _so _unfair."

Amu sighed. She was sitting at her dining room table, directly across from her parents. It was Tuesday, and she'd finally worked up the courage to talk to them about her date with Tadase. Amu had learned from past experiences that it was best to follow the advice of her school counselor, but in this situation, it proved pointless. _Gee, _she thought to herself. _Thanks, Yuu_.

Amu's parents exchanged looks, speaking in that silent way that she hated. Finally, her mother, Midori, turned to her with saddened amber eyes. The same amber eyes that Amu had; she _hated _to have her own tricks played on her.

"Our answer is no," Midori said simply, folding her hands on the table.

Amu faltered. She hadn't counted on her parents being all giddy about Tadase, but there was a difference between thinking no and _hearing _no. "But mom…" her voice was breaking.

And that's when her father decided to speak up. He usually stayed out of things like this, but since it was involving Amu and a boy, he felt the need to step up and make a statement.

"We don't think your ready," he told her.

Amu looked at the both of them. She loved her parents more than anything in the world, but sometimes they could be really thick. From the beginning, they'd always thought that Tadase was the source of her problem. But that was only because she hadn't been brave enough to tell them who really was.

"I think I'm ready," she supplied timidly. "Guys, you've known Tadase-kun since he was born. I've known him since _I _was born. Do you really trust me to tell you the truth?"

Midori always had the best answers. "Of course we trust you, Amu-chan. But sometimes the truth isn't enough."

"Tadase-kun wasn't the one who caused everything," Amu admitted, looking down. "And I trust him. Do you trust me?"

As her mother and father exchanged more looks, Amu prayed that she'd said the right words. Or made the right faces. Whatever she needed to do to get her parents to let her go out, she hoped she'd done it all right. It wasn't going on a date with Tadase that she was really looking forward to; it was getting back to where they'd been before. Before everything. And Amu was sure that going out to dinner with him would make everything the way that it was. Before. Everything.

"Amu," Midori now said. "We can't always be around to tell you what to do."

"I know," Amu nodded sadly.

"We just want you to look out for yourself," her father concluded.

Amu blinked. _What? _she wondered. _No speech? No reasons why they're right? _She almost couldn't believe what she was hearing. "That's… all?"

"That's all," her mother nodded. "Do what you need to do."

"I will," Amu vowed. "I will."

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Amu was having a tough time keeping a straight face. She hadn't been in the flower shop for five minutes before drama started breaking out. The owner of _Hana no Kokoro_, Sanjo Yukari, was going through one of her weekly duels with her little brother, Sanjo Kairi. Kairi was somewhere around fourteen years old, and he had established quite a name for himself around town already. You see, Kairi was an aspiring author. There wasn't a day Amu had seen him without a book in his face. And because of his love of books, he was always getting into trouble. Failing classes, running into walls, setting things on fire… you name it and he'll have it destroyed by the end of the week.

It got so bad that sometimes Kairi's mother didn't know what to do with him. So, naturally, she just sent him to the shop for Yukari to watch.

Amu smiled as she listened to the siblings' shouts from the backroom. Yukari had to be easily ten years older than Kairi, but that didn't keep them from getting into fights. Every week.

Everything was quiet in the shop, so far. Amu was beginning to detest the slow decrease in costumers. But at least she had her phone to keep her company… right then, her and Ikuto were in the middle of texting each other.

_To: Tsukiyomi IkutoFrom: Hinamori Amu_

_Gahhhh, so much yelling. -.- my boss and the kid are at it again. If I suddenly stop texting you, call the police and tell them it was Sanjo Kairi._

With a sigh, Amu pressed _send_, and then awaited a reply. Looking up, she managed to get out of the way just before her boss could run her over. And of course, her little brother was close on her heels. Amu wanted to tell them that shouting wouldn't get them any costumers, but then she decided against it. She rather liked being alive.

"It's _not _my problem!" Yukari was carrying on, hands on her hips.

Kairi crossed his arms. "Yes, it is. Since _you're _in charge of me, _you're _also in charge of my schedule. Which I'm now seven minutes and three seconds behind on!"

Amu covered her mouth with her hand, stifling giggles. Whatever they were talking about, Kairi was definitely being a dork about it. But Yukari was just as difficult (Amu knew this from experience). And then she felt her phone buzz in her hand, so Amu did what she thought was necessary to protect herself, ducking down behind the counter to check what Ikuto had sent her. She didn't want to be texting when things started flying.

_To: Hinamori Amu_

_From: Tsukiyomi Ikuto_

_Sanjo Kairi? I think I've heard that name before. It was probably one of Utau's friends gossiping. XP_

Amu raised an eyebrow. How would Utau be affiliated with Kairi? They didn't run in the same circles, it didn't seem (moreover, Kairi couldn't even walk a straight line), and it wouldn't make sense. But she shook it off, trying her best to concentrate on texting back; Yukari and her brother were being pretty loud now.

_To: Tsukiyomi Ikuto_

_From: Hinamori Amu_

_That's weird o.0 … listen, I've gotta go. Terrified that someone's gonna blow me up. ;)_

"Okay." Timely, Amu popped up from behind the counter. She couldn't take the arguing anymore. "What's wrong? Why are you guys fighting?"

Kairi turned around, obviously surprised that the One with The Pink Hair could speak. "I have to be somewhere," he answered simply, pushing up his glasses. "Yukari won't take me."

"Where do you hafta be?" Amu had no idea how she was gonna help him. But that didn't matter; she just wanted the yelling to stop.

Yukari made a face at her brother. "He wants to go visit his girlfriend. Apparently, she did something stupid and now she's in the hospital."

Amu sighed; Yukari was never one to be gentle with her words. She was beautiful, though. Twenty-something years old, her hair was long and crimson-colored. She had alabaster skin and pretty brown eyes, yet she _still _wasn't happy. Ever.

Kairi, on the other hand, had dark green hair, always messy an never brushed (no time when you're too busy reading). His eyes were equally as brown as his sister's, but his skin was much paler. Their personalities contrasted wildly until you made it down to their stubbornness. It seemed as if Amu was _surrounded _by stubborn people.

"Why can't you just take him, Sanjo-san?" she asked. "I'll watch the shop, I swear."

Yukari looked devastated. Not because she felt bad about anything, but because she _knew _she was losing. "Fine, if it'll get _him_ to shut up."

"Nine minutes and five seconds behind," Kairi updated them, motioning towards the front glass doors. "Let's go."

"I'll pay you extra," Yukari vowed.

Amu couldn't argue with that. She waved cheerfully as Kairi basically _dragged _his sister out of the shop. Breathing a sigh of relief, she was kind of glad they were going. Amu loved her job, but she was getting kind of tired of sorting out their fights, it that made any sense. But before she could even _think_ of getting back up onto her favorite blue stool, her cell phone rang.

She expected it to be Ikuto. Or at least, she hoped it was Ikuto. But as she flipped open her phone once more, a look of disappointment hovered over her face. The number was unfamiliar to her, and she was a bit wary of it; after all, she'd been so _sure _that it was Ikuto calling her. But who was this?

"Hello?" she answered it, her voice sounded a bit more like how she felt.

"_Hey, Amu?" _It was the voice of a girl, no doubt. But Amu was still unclear on who, exactly had placed the call to her.

"This is her," she nodded. "But who is this?"

"_It's Utau."_

If Amu had been drinking water, she would've spit it out. How did Utau get her number? Any other time, Amu would've felt indifferent about getting a call from her, but now that she knew Utau was a _popstar_, things were different. It sounded shallow, but that's just the way her mind worked.

"Hey, Utau!" She took a deep breath, calming herself. "What's up?"

Utau hesitated, making Amu imagine the way she must've looked on the other end of the line. Awkwardness seemed to be a genetic normality in that family. _"Um, I… saw you at my concert."_

"Yeah, you were great," Amu encouraged, trying hard not to sound too weird.

"_Thanks," _Utau replied, her voice hitching up just a bit. _"But, that's not why I called."_

Amu was curious now. "Then why did you?"

"_I wanted to tell you that I'm having a two friends over on Friday," _Utau's voice was blank again, so Amu couldn't tell where she was going. _"And I want you to be one of them."_

It was a good thing Amu wasn't drinking water that day.

"Really?" she sputtered. "This Saturday?"

"_Yep," _Utau sounded like she was nodding. _"And… that's really all I wanted to say. So… bye." _And then she hung up.

"Wait, Utau…" Amu said to the dial tone. "I was gonna tell you that I was coming…"

No reply.

"But never mind."

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>Woohoo, chapter eleven down! We're finally into the double digits now! Can you believe it? Anyways, what do you think about the Ikuto thing I was talking about in the beginning AN? I wanna hear your thoughts on it. ****But save the thought, because now it's time for me to reply to your reviews... :)**

**Response to xxToxicMemoryxx: Haha, you must've been confused! I know I would've been. I am? Well, thank you. I try to write my stories thinking that they're movies, so that they'll translate well. I guess I succeeded in that last chapter. But... I don't understand your questions _("What does that mean?")_. Are you talking about the butterfly, or something else? I couldn't figure it out, but I really want to answer you question :3. BUT I LOVE ASSUMPTIONS! TT^TT ... Anyways, thanks for the review. **

**Response to thexlittlexlisa: It's not so much what's behind their relationship, but it's more of what's behind Amu's problem. Because Tadase really has nothing to do with it, if you think hard enough. But i guess I'm confusing you... so I'll just shut up...**

**Response to xxxUtauloverxxx: You are? Hehe... that reminds me of one of my sister's regular reviewers. Her username is Bluepanda800, and she would always guess exactly what was going to go down in the plot. Now, Haruna really didn't care, but it kinda pissed me off... you know how I'm all about keeping the mystery XD. And don't you worry about Tadase... it's not what he did. He didn't do anything wrong. It's just that Amu was going through a really tough time in her life, and she hadn't counted on him not being around. Anywho, thanks for the review! (I RHYMED! :DDD)**

**Response to crazyrawrx3: Thank you! :3**

**Response to addimison: Uh, no. Yuu was not there when it happened. But things like that take a lot of time to heal, so anyone could've seen the tattoo like that right off the bat. Don't fret, Kukai isn't jealous. He's just looking out for Amu... he's worried about her, you know? He wants to protect her, 'cause they're really good friends and all :).**

**Response to Aourie: I agree. Reading fanfictions that are a little out of the ordinary is refreshing. Like, it makes you relax a little. And I appreciate your input on my idea for a companion fic. So far, you're the only person who's mentioned it :D.**

**Response to Mi-chan42: Oh, don't sweat it. I don't like to hassle my readers for reviews. It's so unclassy, you know? I'd rather have them review because they liked my story, or even because they _didn't _like it, rather than have them review because I threatened not to update if they didn't. The genuine feeling of unforced love is kind of comforting :3.**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: But this one was faster! Okay, more Nikanjo and Yairi? I'm on it. BINGO! Tadase wasn't hurting Amu in their 'unhealthy relationship'. Really, he didn't do anything wrong. They weren't even in a relationship. But _Amu _was the one who made it unhealthy. Yeah... I have to put in some Rimahiko here and there for my loyal Amuto/Rimahiko followers, because hey, you can't go wrong with those two :3. ANd when I said deadpanned, I meant he was just being serious. I hope I didn't make it sound like he was laughing or anything -.- So everybody knows now... Amu had problems with self-injury in the past. In a way, it was both her parents and Tadase's parents' fault. But mostly just pressure. I hope that answers all your questions... **

**Response to pie-chi: Correctomundo. Amu _was _a cutter. But now she's all recovered and brand new. Ummm... you're assumption are halfway on track, but you mostly just said what everybody else did. Amu didn't start cutting because of a fight her and Tadase had... but that's all I'm gonna say.**

**Oooh, one more thing guys! There was something I didn't clarifiy in my other chapter. Most of you guys were probably wondering why Amu and her friends were at school in July. Well, that's because they have school in the summer in Japan... it's not just for dumb kids ;D. 'Cause really, there are like, no dumb Asians. **

**Oh, and don't think I randomly added Yukari and Kairi in there for no reason. Their roles play out well towards the end. And if you wanna read more about Kairi and Yaya, they'll be playing a bigger role in the companion fic _"Futatabi no Geijutsu." _But that's all for now.**

**-Kanon ;D**


	12. About my Past

**KYAAAA! I'm sorry, I know you guys are getting tired of me updating every day, but I'm so excited for you all! This is the chapter where we get to hear Ikuto's backstory! A lot of you guys have been pestering me about his past, so while trying to figure out what kind of filler to write this chapter as, I thought, "Well, hey. I think it's about time Amu and Ikuto get together again. She should see him before she goes on her date with Tadase... and since nobody knows much about him, I KNOW...!" **

**And thus, this chapter was born.**

**-Kanon ;D**

* * *

><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Twelve… **_Watashi no Kako Nitsuite_: _About my Past _

**Tags: **_lonely, dangerous, caller ID, park, lake, father, white camellias, acceptance, backstory, closer._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Amu was getting a little lonely.

It was Thursday, and she was feeling a bit left out of things. All her friends had gone out to lunch without her, assuming that she'd be working. Which was okay; it seemed that all she'd been doing lately was work and school. Her life was getting back to the dangerous way that it used to be… and that was bad, because she felt that _she _was going back to the dangerous person she used to be. Amu tried her best to keep herself out of the kitchen as much as possible; it wasn't exactly that the knives they had on display were tempting her. It was that she _wanted _to be tempted, and that terrified her.

She would never go back.

So right after she got the permission from her parents to spend the night at Utau's house (_"She's a girl I met at the shop," _Amu lied), she called Ikuto up. He was starting to become what Tadase used to be to her, and Amu was beginning to feel like she couldn't breath without him.

"_Hey, Amu."_

"How did you know it was me?" she blinked.

Ikuto chuckled on the other end of the line. _"Caller ID and instinct. I felt like you would call."_

"I felt like I needed to call you," Amu admitted, blushing just a little.

"_What's wrong? You sound different."_

"Don't act like you know me."

"_Rawr."_

Amu sighed. "Sorry. I'm just… when can I see you again?"

"_I just got home from class," _he replied. _"If you're free today, we can meet in the park."_

"Class?"

"_College, remember?"_

"Right," she nodded. "Can you be there in twenty?"

"_I'll make it work."_

And then he hung up. Amu narrowed her eyes against the sound of the dial tone. Forget everything she'd thought before! That thing was _annoying_. Despite the impending date she'd set before her, she was still in a bad mood. So Ikuto didn't even matter right then.

"WHAT'S WITH THESE PEOPLE AND HANGING UP ON ME?"

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Twenty minutes later, everything was all in order. Amu had gotten dressed and headed down to the park, eager to get away from her family. She loved them all, but sometimes she needed time away. That _and _she was trying to avoid the fact that she still owed Ami for the concert incident. So, in short, Seiyo central park was the place to be.

Before now, Amu had never noticed how beautiful the lake was. She and Ikuto had chosen to sit in a more secluded area of the park; even though they hadn't said anything but 'hello' to each other so far, it was hard to ignore the seriousness that hung in the air. So there they sat, underneath a tree on the sloping hill, overlooking the lake.

Amu looked up at Ikuto. They sat side by side, comfortable as if they'd known each other for years. But the truth was, Amu didn't know him at all. But she wanted to. She wanted him in her life; she needed that breath of fresh air.

"So," Ikuto said now, taking a deep breath. "What did you wanna talk to me about?"

Amu sighed, not expecting the breeze that suddenly blew through, whipping her hair all around. _Stupid wind_, she seethed, raking a hand through her pink locks. "Nothing, I just… I wanted to ask you some stuff."

"… Why?" Ikuto asked, sounding like he knew _exactly _what she wanted to ask him. He sounded afraid.

Amu licked her dry lips. "I, uh… I've been really confused about some stuff lately. But I don't wanna be confused about you."

Ikuto hesitated, looking up at the branches that extended over their heads. They cast a shadow over the two, but even amidst the thick covering speckles of light still shined through. Amu smiled at the way they painted her arms; she was sure of Ikuto's answer now.

"Okay," he replied. Amu didn't dare look up at his face; she was afraid of seeing the worry that she, herself was feeling. Neither of them were sure that they were ready to cross this bridge.

But Amu was willing to take the chance. "… So why do you send your sister white camellias?"

Ikuto whistled. "That's a big question."

"You don't have to answer," she returned timidly. _Actually, you do._

"No, it's okay," he answered slowly. "It's a pretty simple story, though. All about my screwed up family."

"I know how _that _feels." Amu rolled her eyes.

Ikuto chuckled incredulously, like he was holding something back. "Do you?"

Amu became quiet. Obviously, she'd said something to upset him. She didn't want to mess up and say something _else _stupid.

Ikuto exhaled, grabbing a handful of navy hair at the back of his head. "I think I was eight. Utau would've been six. I don't really remember, though."

Amu wasn't sure where he was going with this, but she wouldn't interrupt. She wanted to know what made the Tsukiyomi's, the two of them she knew, who they were. What made them so jumpy, what made their eyes so blue. She wanted to know why she wasn't like them, but at the same time, was all that they were.

"My old man was a musician," Ikuto told her. Briefly, he smiled up at the sky, like it made him happy just to remember. "He was always away doing shows. Every time he came back, he would bring Utau and I all this amazing crap that we didn't need. But back then, it was the best thing ever just because it came from him. He was the man."

(_"Daddy, you got me a whistle!" four-year-old Utau cried._)

Ikuto continued without hesitation. "My mom always got the best gift, though. My dad would always bring her back a white camellia, to thank her for waiting for him. According to you, _hanakotoba _is one of your favorite subjects, so you should know all about that kind of thing. I was eight, I didn't."

Amu _did _know about that kind of thing. Like she'd previously concluded, white camellias represented waiting. Usually, waiting for one's love. But that still didn't clear up why Utau was getting them from her brother.

"Like I said, there's really not much to this story," he shrugged. "It's just… one day, he went off to perform somewhere in Tokyo. And… he never came back."

Amu's face crumbled. Finally, she'd been able to bring herself to look at Ikuto, and what she saw was disheartening. His eyes were narrowed, and she couldn't tell whether it was the sun… or something else. And in his sapphire eyes she didn't see the usual sadness. Instead, she gazed into nothing. A deep, dark hollowness, and it scared her.

"Ikuto…" she nearly whispered, not knowing what else to say.

Ikuto chuckled again, and this time she was _sure _it was to hold back tears. "You know, Utau always liked singing. It was kind of annoying sometimes. But, after our dad left, she stopped. For weeks, she wouldn't even talk to anyone. And I hated him for that."

Amu sniffled, trying to keep her tears at bay. Seeing him like this was different. And imagining Utau like that, even though they didn't know each other that well, was hard. "What about your mom?"

"It's complicated." Ikuto's voice was breaking. Amu's heart was breaking. "Well, that's my backstory. And, to answer your question, Utau still thinks our dad is coming back. So… I've been sending her white camellias every once in a while ever since he left, because I don't want her to give up."

"But _you _gave up, didn't you?" Amu was terrified of the answer she might get.

He shook his head. "There's a difference between giving up and accepting."

Amu wondered whether Ikuto had ever told anyone all this before. It didn't seem like it; he seemed so exposed. Like, now that he was telling her all this, he was afraid. Of what, she didn't know. Maybe her?

But, the next six words he mumbled, almost under his breath, said it all.

"I've never told anyone this before."

Only now did Ikuto turn to look at Amu. He was shocked to see that, even if she was trying to hide it, she was crying. It took his mind back to that day in the park, where he'd stumbled upon her crying beside the amaryllises. She was emotional. He wanted to know was _made _her emotional.

But that was for another time.

"Don't you cry, too," he smirked, ruffling her wind-tousled hair.

"I'm not crying," she sniffled, turning away stubbornly.

Ikuto thought about laughing, but decided against it; there were more important things he could've done then. But, oddly enough, he did none of them.

"My life isn't a sad story, you know," he said, pulling himself up. "But now that you know everything about me, I wanna know _your _backstory."

Amu tensed up immediately.

"But not now," he added, giving her a heart-attack.

She sighed in relief, almost choking. "Good."

"This was kinda sudden, don't you think?" He extended a hand to her, which she promptly took. Without much effort, it seemed, he pulled her off the ground and to her feet. "I mean, we barely know each other."

"Well, I know you now," she supplied, dusting off the sleeves of her grey hoodie.

Ikuto nodded. "You do. And I'm looking forward to getting to know Hinamori Amu."

_I am, too. _Amu could only smile, pushing up on to her tiptoes in false hope of matching his height. "We'll see. But hey, I've gotta go. See you later, okay?"

"See you later," he replied.

Amu stopped dead in her tracks. Ikuto's voice sounded different now. Like, before he'd told her all about his life, his voice had sounded more distant, if that made any sense. But now, it was like he was right there next to her. He seemed so tangible, so real. More than he'd been before, when they were strangers talking in the flower shop.

Now he was closer. Closer to her.

But where was she?

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>So what do you think? Like Ikuto said, it was kinda sudden, but you guys deserve better than a crappy filler about Amu and Rima eating a sandwich or something xD (no lie, I was kinda thinking about doing something like that). Anyways, I wanna know what you think! Was Ikuto's backstory believable? Was his emotion believable? DID YOU LIKE THE CHAPTER?<strong>

**... Review responses!**

**Response to bubblegum: Was this soon enough? ;D**

**Response to xxToxicMemoryxx: How I do love your username. And how I also love your reviews. Answering your statement about Kairi, I was wrong. Actually, his eyes are blue-grey. I looked it up, and then looked at a couple of pictures of him. I guess I just assumed they were brown because, c'mon, almost some of my favorite characters in SC has brown eyes. And yes, his girlfriend is Yaya. Once I post the companion, you'll be able to see where they tie into all this. Yeah, I agree about Ikuto really being seventeen. But if he IS fourteen, it's gonna be so funny. Tadamu fans and Ikuto fangirls will be running amuck in the streets, not knowing what to do with their lives xDDD. **

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Just to let you know, even though it probably won't change your opinion, I don't think Ikuto is really fourteen. I think it's just a rumor that some people have been taking too seriously. YESH! Everything is better with Kairi in it. Once I publish the companion up here, you'll be able to see what his role is in the big scheme of things :).**

**Response to thexlittlexlisa: I agree. It just sounded too unbelievable, you know? Anyways, thanks.**

**Response to WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN: First, let me lol at ur penname. That, my friend, just made my day! Actually, I've been awaiting the day when someone tries to copy one of my stories. It seems like it'll be really rewarded, lol. I guess I'm just weird.**

**Response to Mi-chan42: Oh. My. Gosh. Well, you just made my day :).**

**Response to xxxUtauloverxxx: Yeah, next chapter is the sleep-over. So it should be interesting. And thanks, my goal is to always keep the character IC, but to put a unique spin on them for story purposes. Thanks for the compliment.**

**Response to pie-chi: Hehehe. I'm glad I update on a roll, too.**

**Response to OliviaLively: Well, I'm kinda breaking the rules here, since I'm only supposed respond to the people who reviewed on chapter eleven. But you, Olivia, are the only exception. Until the next exception, that is :). But wait... don't you mean Harry Potter and the _Sorcerer's _Stone? Or, is it like a different version in Canada? I wouldn't know... never been... :DD You must teach me your Canadian ways.**

**Response to addimison: Oh, you're always welcome. You know you can ask me any questions you like, because I'll always answer. Well, she's already seen Ikuto, so the sleep-over is up next. Can't wait, can you?**

**... And, I think that's all, everyone. For once, I have nothing to say. Except for thanks, of course. I could spend the rest of my lifetime saying thanks for all your support. But I won't, because I've got stuff to do xD.**

**-Kanon ;D**


	13. Soaring, Flying

**I'm back! Goodness, it's been such a long time! Had some trouble trying to figure out exactly _what _I wanted to portray in this chapter... but I think I got at least half of it down, here. I have another challenge for you guys at the end of this chapter. I know you guys are probably gonna hate me for it, but I love them! **

**... Are you mad at me for not updating in so long?**

**-Knaon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Thirteen… **_Hiko, Kyujosho: Soaring, Flying_

**Tags: **_porch, popcorn, refrigerator, microwave, American, movie, texting, boyfriend, girlfriend._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

As soon as Amu stepped up onto Utau's porch, it felt like she'd never left.

She could immediately envision the lemonade, the salty chips, and the paper cranes littered everywhere. And when Utau answered to door, it all seemed really real. Like, this was the life that she belonged in. And it was kind of exciting, how she'd been hanging out with all these people that she didn't really know lately.

"Good to see you," Utau said, sounding far to cheerful for Amu to feel comfortable. But maybe this was how she usually was. How would _she _know, anyway?

"Same," Amu nodded, thumping the strap of the backpack she was carrying. She'd come prepared for whatever was going to happen. Part of that was because of her paranoid parents, but most of it was just because that was the way Amu was.

Utau stepped aside, just like she'd done on the day that they'd met. "Come in."

Amu obeyed, shuffling on into the front hall of the big house. Hardwood floors, cream-colored walls and paper cranes (of course) welcomed her in. Utau shut the door behind them, leading Amu into the living room.

"I didn't think you would come," she confessed, smiling a little.

Amu shook her head. "Well, you were wrong."

The kitchen was just as she remembered it. White cabinets, decorative plates, and lavender stools pulled up to the island. Oh, and don't forget all the little cranes that'd been scattered around. The only things that looked a little different to Amu were the facts that; one, there was no lemonade in sight, and two, there was an extra person in the kitchen. A girl, who looked about as old as Rima, rooting around in the cabinets for something.

Utau put her hands on her hips, raising an eyebrow. "Yaya, what are you doing?"

The mysterious _other guest_ froze, obviously caught. Slowly, she turned around, a cheeky grin on her face.

Now, Amu had seen a lot of beautiful people in her life, but by far, this girl was different. It wasn't because she was shockingly gorgeous or anything. It was actually the fact that she looked so normal. Very plain, with her chestnut pigtails, alabaster skin, and childlike brown eyes. She was so normal, so painfully real, that she was almost _unreal. _Amu couldn't manage words, as she set her backpack down onto one of the island stools.

Yaya crossed her arms. From the looks of the professional pout she was putting on, she was a bit upset. "Yaya can't find the popcorn."

Utau sighed. "Why?"

"Because," Yaya reasoned. "You can't watch a movie without popcorn."

"We're watching a movie?" Amu was thoroughly lost.

"I guess so." Utau seemed equally as confused. "By the way, Amu, this is Yuiki Yaya. Yaya, this is Hinamori Amu."

"Hey," Amu waved shyly. She wasn't usually this bashful… but Yaya seemed a little special. Like, in a familiar way. Amu hadn't felt this way since the first time she'd seen Ikuto. It was that feeling you get when you see someone that, maybe, you knew in a past life. When you know that if you don't pursue that person, nothing would ever be the same again.

"Do _you _know where the popcorn is?" Yaya asked pointedly.

Utau gave her a disapproving glance. "It's in the fridge."

Yaya made a face, looping around to the refrigerator. "Yaya suspects your lies," she mumbled, pulling open the door. But, low and behold, there the popcorn was, laying in little packets by the milk. Yaya gaped, turning back to them in disbelief. "You keep popcorn packets in the fridge?"

Utau nodded. "To hide it from creeps like you."

"Yaya is _not _a creep," Yaya deadpanned. With a prideful air, she walked over to the microwave, sticking the three popcorn packets inside and hitting a bunch of buttons. "And where do you keep hiding the candy, anyway?"

"That is information I'm withholding for your own good," Utau informed her.

Amu felt a little out of place, now. She'd been found of the thought that she was this piece of furniture in Utau's life, but now? She didn't know whether she knew her well enough to spend the night with her and Yaya. She felt like a stranger in a big city.

"So, Amu-chii," Yaya began. "How do you know Utau-chan?"

_Amu-chii? _Amu felt slightly uncomfortable with the honorific. She couldn't tell which she disliked the most, Yaya adding _-chii _or Ikuto not using an honorific at all! What was it with the people she'd been meeting lately? Why couldn't she make normal friends?

"I, um…" Amu fumbled. "I'm friends with Ikuto."

Yaya blinked. "Ikuto-kun's back in town? How come you didn't say anything, Utau-chan?"

"I didn't know," Utau shrugged. "I found out through Amu. She's been dating him for a while."

"W-we're not dating!" Amu sputtered. She couldn't believe that Utau would say that, out loud, to a complete stranger! Well, maybe Yaya wasn't a stranger, but Amu had never met her before. And more importantly, how could Utau think that she and Ikuto were in a relationship?

"Really?" Utau asked. She almost sounded relieved. "Then what do you do all the time?"

Amu thought long and hard about her answer. She didn't want anymore misunderstandings. At least, not about _that_. "… I have no idea."

"Yaya knows the feeling."

Utau came back around the kitchen island, picking Amu's bag up off of the stool. "I'm gonna go put this upstairs," she said, glancing briefly at Yaya. "Yaya, what's this movie we're watching about?"

"It's an American movie," Yaya explained, raising her voice to be heard above the popcorn that had begun popping in the microwave. "About this boy who's on a basketball team, and this nerdy girl, and how they both accidentally joined a theatre club."

Utau rolled her eyes.

And that's when the microwave-timer went off.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

About an hour later, Utau, Amu, and Yaya were well into watching the movie. Forty-five minutes ago they'd all crammed onto the sofa, draping a blanket over themselves, and popped the movie the movie in. Now they were anxiously passing the popcorn bowl back and forth, watching the American movie together. Now, Amu could understand English really well when it was being spoken, so she didn't need to read the subtitles as much as anyone else. Utau, of course, was well engrossed in the American culture, so she didn't need them either. Yaya, however, was always pausing the movie so that she could finish reading what the characters were saying.

By now, they were coming close to the end of the movie, but that didn't make it any less interesting. What Yaya hadn't explained was that this movie was a _musical_, so most of the time they were listening to songs. Like right now, when the two main characters were singing a song about _soaring _and _flying_. Amu didn't quite understand; all they were doing was dancing around on a stage. How did that portray flying?

"_American music is different than Japanese music," _she whispered to Yaya, who nodded excitedly.

To keep herself busy, Amu decided to text one of her friends. She realized that they (Rima, Nagi, and Kukai) had no idea about Ikuto and Utau. But she wasn't sure she was ready for those two worlds to merge together. She was happy keeping them a safe distance apart. _Who to text?_

She'd decided on Kukai.

Covering up the light of her phone, Amu tried to think of what she wanted to say to him. And suddenly, she knew just the thing.

_To: Souma Kukai  
><em>_From: Hinamori Amu  
><em>_  
>Guess where I'm at right now! <em>

In the movie, the main couple had _finally _stopped singing. Now everybody was cheering and hugging and stuff. Amu knew why, of course, but she didn't see the point in the movie. Yaya liked it because it was American, Utau liked it because of the music, but Amu could see no reason to watch the movie eer again. Were all American movies like this?

_To: Hinamori Amu  
>From: Souma Kukai<em>

_Hey you :)__. Sooo where are you?_

"There's no point to this at all," Amu muttered, taking a handful of popcorn. Utau didn't seem to hear, but Yaya rolled her eyes.

"You sound like Kairi-kun," she said.

"Her little boyfriend," Utau elaborated. Yaya didn't object.

Amu blinked. "_Sanjo _Kairi?"

"That's the one," Yaya replied, mouthful of popcorn.

Amu shook her head. Yaya couldn'thave meant the Kairi she was thinking of. Not nerdy, walk-into-walls, face-in-a-book Kairi. But, thinking back to a few days ago, when Kairi and his sister had been fighting, Yukari _had _mentioned that Kairi had a girlfriend. Then again, she'd also said that she was in the hospital. And Yaya… she looked perfectly healthy. No broken bones or signs of disease. So there couldn't have been a connection, right?

_To: Souma Kukai  
>From: Hinamori Amu<em>

_I'm at Hoshina Utau's house! :)_

"I, uh…" Amu lightly treaded the subject. "I think I work for his older sister."

"Yukari-tan?" Yaya's face brightened. "You must work at _Hana no Kokoro_!"

"Yeah, actually."

_So she _is _Kairi's girlfriend. _Amu had no idea how that relationship would even work. But she wasn't going to question it, because the movie was still on. And this time they were singing again. About being inside of something together. Amu truly didn't understand now. Was this an American saying, or something? Because it made no sense to her. Or Yaya and Utau, judging by their confused faces.

The dancing was intense, though.

_To: Hinamori Amu  
>From: Souma Kukai<em>

… _Don't toy with my emotions like that, Hinamori. -.-_

Amu smiled. "Okay, Kukai-nii."

"Shhhh!" Utau hissed. "I'm trying to figure out why they're all in side of this 'thing' at the same time!"

Amu was quick to silence herself, afraid of Utau's wrath. And she basically stayed that way for the rest of the night. She didn't text Kukai back, and she couldn't quite remember how the movie ended. She was just glad to be there, with Utau and Yaya. She felt like she was part of something. Something real. But it didn't last for long.

Mostly, because she'd passed out before the ending credits.

_Soaring, flying…_

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>Okay, I know this chapter wasn't much. But at least it's here. I don't expect you guys to have much to say about it, but I have a lot to say to you! Here are my review responses.<strong>

**Response to Mimpy: Awww, thank you. I'm glad you think so.**

**Response to Mayonaka Naze: Yeahh... but we can't get through life unscathed, so... here's to him and his sad, sad past. Oooh, hearing about Amu's past is gonna be great. But I don't think it'll go halfway how you expect it. Anyways, thanks for the review :).**

**Response to Nori Tsuki-Hime: Are you serious? I would love to see it! Whenever you're done, of course. You know where to find meeee ;).**

**Response to Chocolate covered charas: Why, thank you. I tried to keep it light at the beginning to I could make way for the heavy bits coming in. I'm still trying to portray that light-heartedness every now and again, though. Oh, don't worry. I don't care if you leave a long review or not... what I care about was what you thought about the chapter :D.**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Hehe, I'm glad that I worded everything right. I was trying to get it to stirr up emotion without being unrealistically dramatic, because that's not how Ikuto is. And as for the closure, I assure you that the closure of this chapter was craptastic. So... there :). AND YES! I totally follow your paragraph about the Amuto age-difference. I agree with every single word! So glad we see eye-to-eye!**

**Response to OliviaLively: See how much we Americans don't know? ;) And I do think it would be better if Ikuto was closer to Amu's age, but it seems a bit unrealistic to me. Because, you know, the whole age-difference thing was the essence of their relationship, almost. So losing that, to me, it a bit disheartening. AND I'M EXCITED TOOOO!~ :D**

**Response to pie-chi: Haha, you just saying that makes my day. And my favorite flower? I'm so glad you asked. I wanna say it's an amaryllis... there very pretty. And they symbolize shyness and whatnot. Not really me, but they're beautiful all the same :).**

**Response to cielmikitoaloislvr: And because of that, I will continue writing :D.**

**Response to thexlittlexlisa: I agree, it was a little sad, compared to the rest. And actually, you won't get to hear Amu's back-story for a little while. I have to look at my chapter-by-chapter plan, but I think we still have a couple more installments to go before Amu explains about her past. Sorry ^^".**

**Response to xxxUtauloverxxx: Gresome? Seriously? Well, I think your review was gresome! :) Haha, unfortunately, we will not be reading about Amu and Rima eating sandwiches for now. Maybe, if I can get some of the major stuff outta the way, I'll get around to writing it, because it sounds fun.**

**Response to addimison2: Nice? Well, thank you. I think you're nice too! :D **

**Response to Dominique Weasley: Hey, I don't know if I asked this already, but does your username have anything to do with Harry Potter? Because I _love _Harry Potter. Just asking :).**

**Response to xxToxicMemoryxx: You know what? Now that you've mentioned it, I think I'm gonna go read something you've written. Oh, and tell your boyfriend I said "Happy REALLY late birthday!" :)**

**Response to Mi-chan42: Well, at least the hobo got a hug, right? :)**

**Response to kittyallstars: Well, as I told another reviewer, it'll be a while before we get to hear about Amu's past. But, little by little, it's being revealed. Don't you think? Anyways, OF COURSE you can use the little butterfly. It's not really mine, so you may do as you please with it. I don't care. :)**

**Done with the responses! Onto the CHALLENGE!**

**Okay, so, in this chapter the girls are watching a movie, right? Well, the challenge this time is to figure out what movie they were watching. I don't think I made it too hard, so you should've already been able to guess. Anyway, I'm not even sure what the prie is gonna be this time... I just thought it would be fun.**

**Hope you'll participate.**

**-Kanon ;D**


	14. Waffles Again

**Hello, everybody! I'm back after four days of nothingness. For this chapter, I originally intended to write about Tadase and Amu's date. But obviously, it didn't go this way. I don't know why I didn't... but I'm pretty sure it's gonna turn out well for what I plan to do in the future.**

**By the way, I understand that I did a challenge for the previous chapters, challenging everyone to guess which movie the girls were watching. Most of you got it right... they were watching "High School Musical." But I'm at a loss for a prize. Do you guys have any prizes in mind that you'd like to have? :)**

**(And I haven't even started distributing the prizes for the old challenge yet!)**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Fourteen… **_Futatabi Waffuru: Waffles Again_

**Tags: **_sunlight, whistle, pajamas, microwave, waffles, cranes, different, same, Yaya, call, date, text._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Amu soon awoke to uncomfortable sunlight.

The first thing she noticed was that she was under a blanket. And on a couch. She couldn't quite remember where she was as she shielded her face, letting sunlight speckle her cheeks through her fingers. She squinted; this room was so unfamiliar. With all the pictures on the lavender-painted walls, hanging shamelessly, one right after another.

On the fireplace was a vase of white camellias. Beside it was another picture, this one seemingly more important than the other. It was of a blonde girl, probably no more than ten, blowing into a whistle.

_Blowing into a whistle…_

"Utau?" Amu sat up immediately, scanning the room with her eyes. Utau was nowhere to be found, but Amu spotted Yaya curled up on the recliner with a blanket. _Early bird, huh?_

Amu threw the blanket off of her, revealing her yellow-and-pink striped pajama bottoms. Standing up, she rubbed her eyes, wondering exactly how horrible she looked. And what time it was, for that matter. It wasn't long before she'd stumbled, barefoot, into the kitchen (it was the only other room in the house she'd been in so far, except for the bathroom).

There was Utau, standing by the microwave, obviously waiting for something to cook. She stood, holding one of her many paper cranes in her hand, looking at it fondly. One of the things that surprised Amu was that her hair wasn't in ponytails. Instead, it hung down in waves, almost making it past her waist. How was it possible to have so much beautiful, golden hair?

It didn't seem like Utau noticed her standing there.

"Good morning," Amu yawned.

Surprisingly, Utau didn't jump. She didn't even look startled. She only looked up, blasting Amu with those stone-cold eyes. "Sure," she replied, setting the crane down.

The amazing thing about Utau was that she didn't have to _be_ sad to _look _sad. Her eyes were just that way. Same as Ikuto, they were like windows, revealing everything that was inside. Past and present.

"What are you doing?" Amu asked, gesturing to the microwave.

"Frozen waffles."

"Yum…"

Amu fumbled with the edge of her yellow tee shirt, wondering what to say. It would've been a lot easier if Yaya was awake, that way she wouldn't have to work so hard to make conversation. But alas, Yaya was out like a light in the living room. Boring American movies do that to you sometimes.

"Hey." Suddenly, Amu looked up.

"Yeah?" Utau answered, followed by the microwave beeping. Amu took the time to form her words as Utau opened the door, taking out a warm plate of no-longer-frozen waffles.

"Why do you make all the paper cranes?" she asked. "I mean, there are so many of them…"

Utau chuckled, opening the cabinet above her head. Her hair swished gracefully as she rooted around for another plate. "Do you know about _senbazuru_?"

"No, but it sounds familiar." And it did. Amu had heard it mentioned in movie trailers all the time.

"Oh," Utau pulled down another plate, closing the cabinet door thereafter. "_Senbazuru _is the belief that making a thousand paper cranes will grant you one wish."

Amu was legitimately disturbed. "Seriously? A thousand?"

"I wish for the same thing every year," Utau added.

"What's that?"

Utau shook her head, transferring half of the waffles from one plate to the other via fork. "If I told you, it wouldn't come true," she snapped.

"Sorry," Amu apologized quickly. "But… how many cranes do you have by now?"

"Somewhere around seven hundred and fifty."

"Seriously?"

"Do I _look _serious?"

As a matter of fact, she did. Amu decided to stay quiet while Utau prepared breakfast. She finished by adding forks and knives to each plate, and fishing the syrup bottle out of the fridge. Conclusively, she pushed one plate and the syrup over to Amu.

"What about you?" Amu asked, obviously talking about the syrup.

"I don't do syrup," Utau replied.

Amu shook her head, a fixed look upon her face as she drenched her waffles in the sticky goo. "You're weird."

Utau looked somewhat offended. But not really. "And you're boring."

"What do you mean by that?" Amu kept herself busy by cutting her syrup-drenched waffles into little squares. She was honestly curious.

"Everything about you is normal," Utau elaborated. "The way you dress, the place you work, the way you walk, your politeness… everything except for your hair." Despite her icy tone, she didn't seem like she was being negative.

It didn't matter to Amu, though.

"You're typical," Utau continued, her voice growing fond. "And… it's nice, you know? I've never had anything normal in my whole life."

_If only you knew. _While Amu was glad that Utau liked her and all, she couldn't be excited about the fact that people thought she was normal. It was almost offending… and it forced Amu to slowly turn her hand over, palm-up, revealing the butterfly on her wrist. There was nothing normal about _that_.

And suddenly, she didn't feel hungry anymore.

"I think that's why Ikuto likes you so much," Utau added. "You're different than us… but I think we're the same."

Amu swallowed; she didn't like where this conversation was going. Some people said that an invisible familiarity existed between all people who knew pain. There past experiences drew them to each other. And whether it was true or not, though Amu definitely believed that it was, she didn't want to speculate. That was like throwing salt on an open wound.

"I think…" She slowly backed away from the kitchen island, leaving her plate of waffles behind. "I think I'm gonna go wake up Yaya-chan."

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Back in the living room, Yaya slept like a rock. No matter what Amu tried, she couldn't get her to wake up. So she gave up. Sinking back against the couch, Amu gripped her hair tightly. Unwanted feelings began to settle in. Amu hadn't thought she was so unstable; she felt like she could cry.

"_You're different than us… but I think we're the same."_

For the past few weeks, everything had been reminding her of who she used to be. She thought she'd left it all behind, and it had seemed so, until she met Ikuto. Now old feelings and problems arose again, stifling her attempts at being normal. She thought she'd been doing so well. Smiling, getting along, doing what was asked of her… _But apparently not._

And just when it looked like she could cry, she was interrupted by the sound of buzzing. In any other circumstance, she might've had a heart-attack, but not now. She knew what was going on.

Amu reached up onto the coffee table, grabbing her phone. Either someone was calling her or she'd just gotten a text message; either way, she was grateful for the distraction. _Put on a happy face. _But she couldn't. Not after she'd looked at the caller ID… then she almost _did _have a heart-attack.

"H-hello?" she answered, trying to compose herself.

"_Hey, Amu-chan." _It was none other than Hotori Tadase. She was surprised that he still had her number after all this time.

"What's up?" she asked. She recognized that tone; something was wrong.

She heard Tadase sigh on the other end of the line. _"I'm really sorry."_

"For what?"

"_I… I can't make it to our date tonight."_

It was just one blow after another nowadays. But Amu smiled, her grip tightening on her phone. She almost crushed it. "That's okay."

"_No, it isn't," _Tadase sounded really sorry. That cheered her up. _"But I'll make it up to you. I promise. Something just came up."_

_Just like you promised our date? _Amu nodded. She knew Tadase's parents didn't like her, and that was okay. Sometimes. "Whatever you say. See you later."

_Click_.

Amu was somewhat proud of herself for hanging up on him. That didn't make her feel any better, though, as she opened up her message inbox. She needed something to distract her from everything. Something different than before.

_To: Tsukiyomi Ikuto  
>From: Hinamori Amu<em>

_I wanna go. Anywhere._

And suddenly, she felt like waffles again.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

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><p><strong>Yay! Another successful chapter down! Do you guys realize that we're more than halfway through this story? Scary, right? I feel like I just started it yesterday! :) Anyway, on with the review responses!<strong>

**Response to Take Me To My Fragile Dreams: Hehe, yeahh. I've been studying Japanes for a while now, and I realized that if you were watching High School Musical with Japanese subs, the caption for that song would be "We're all inside of this together," which led me to that idea. I'm glad you found it funny!**

**Response to kittyallstars: Yeah. High School Musical is the most popular American movie with foreign peeps, believe it or not. It's true. They let children who are learning English watch it so they can get insight on our culture, or whatever :).**

**Response to Mayonaka Naze: Epic? I'm glad! :D**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Yeah... I always loved the little connection between Amu and Utau. And now adding Yaya would make it a little better, seeing as she's always the comic relief. And I'm not quite sure that this story will reveal what problem Yaya has... so that's why I created the companion. That story will _definitely _delve deeper into Yaya's role in the scheme of things. I TOTALLY GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING; Ikuto creates that bit of drama that Shugo Chara would lack without him, but he's not a dramatic person. Kudos for the way you worded it, monnnn :).**

**Response to candycloud08: Ummm... I know the difference between "Your" and "You're"... it was just a typing error. Same with "Breath" and "Breathe." I would prefer it if you didn't spend your time correcting me, because it's not like I'm not gonna notice eventually, and it's not like I'm gonna go back and change it. Like you said, stories would be nothing without their mistakes. And I think correcting them, excuse me if this sounds rude, is a bit of a waste of time. I'm a high school student, I know how to type/write, and I'm very familiar with grammar. And apart from that, thanks for you nice review on my story.**

**Response to addimison02: Don't worry, I'm getting around to the Amuto bits :).**

**Response to pie-chi: Haha. Well, I tried to make it as simple as possible, and I guess it worked, because almost everyone got it right :). **

**Response to KatCano02: I agree, it _is _kind of short. I'm trying to work on that, honestly... I suppose it's just taking a bit of time. My normal mindset is that 1.5 thousand words is enough to end a chapter with, so I haven't quite explored the realms of 2 and 3 thousand word chapters. I'll get there, though! :)**

**Response to OliviaLively: Livliv! Haha, you ARE a poet! And I agree, it was short... and I hate the horrible hoaxers too... :)**

**Response to Chocolate covered charas: Because that would be a bit offensive, don't you think? Amu taking a pictue with her popstar friend to send to Kukai? Utau might take that the wrong way, because you know how she is xD. But don't worry! Kukai and Utau shall meet at last! **

**Response to xxToxicMemoryxx: I know, right? Utau's house is my dream house, paper cranes and all. No, Utau has no brother complex here. That doesn't mean she won't get a little jealous, maybe. I don't know what I'm going to do with that quite yet. ANDYESH! I shall read Moon Dexterity... it sounds cool. But it may take a while, because whenever I'm on my laptop I feel like I should be writing rather than anything else... but I _will _leave a review. And awwwww! Thanks so much, that's so nice!**

**... And now, People of The World (most of you from the USA, one from Canada), I have a question for you. For those of you who are reading the companion, what do you think of it? How well does it go along with the plot of this story? Is there anything you'd like to see to improve either of them?**

**And also, don't forget about the prize! Tell me what you want your prize to be!**

**-Kanon ;D**


	15. For Real

**Kyaaa, my peoples! I'm back again, and you can never escape now :D. So, anyway, I don't think I have much to say, except that this is a filler. The next chapter will be longer, and you'll be kind of surprised by what's in it. This chapter? I don't know about this one. It's just... something I randomly churned out, there's nothing really important in it. **

**But I hope you enjoy!**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Fifteen… **_Riaru no Tame No: For Real_

**Tags: **_o__kay, middle school, swerve, lockers, SA, artist, violin, long story._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

"Thanks again, for this."

Amu lounged back in the passenger seat. The trees and buildings flew by her window as the engines of other cars buzzed in her ears. This was only her second time in Ikuto's car, and part of the time she found herself forgetting where she was. She was comfortable. And yet so _un_comfortable at the same time.

"No problem," Ikuto replied, tearing his eyes away from the road. "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah…" she nodded reassuringly. "It's just… this is gonna sound stupid, but I feel kinda weird. I mean, I walk everywhere, so…"

Apparently, he found this very amusing. "I forgot. Since all your friends are still in middle school."

Amu then took the liberty to shove him, almost causing a massive car accident in the process. Ikuto's car swerved into the opposite lane, facing all the oncoming cars. Luckily, he was able to quickly speed back over to the lane they were in before. But just because they survived didn't mean there weren't any hard feelings.

He breathed a sigh of relief. "You. Almost. Killed us."

Amu didn't care though. She only crossed her arms, completely oblivious to the destruction she almost caused. "Shut up. My friends are in high school."

"You're dangerous," he shook his head. Never again would he make a joke about her friends, he thought. So instead of going _there_, he just added, "I remember high school."

"Really? What was it like?" Now Amu was interested. She sat up in her seat, ready to hear whatever he had to say. It wasn't like Ikuto to talk about himself.

"Horrible," Ikuto replied. "I always remember kids putting me in lockers."

This came as a bit of a surprise to Amu. "You got bullied in high school?" She never imagined Ikuto as being the kind that let someone pick on them. Actually, she didn't know _what _kind she thought he was.

"Every day." It sounded as if it was hard to talk about. Amu wished she could empathize… but she couldn't. Everybody at Seiyo High liked her. But Ikuto continued with, "Because I was nice. I didn't cause car accidents."

Amu frowned. "Maybe you got bullied for being a smart-ass."

"Maybe." Ikuto didn't look as amused as she thought he would. That upset her; she threw a curse word in there _just _to throw him off, and he wasn't reacting at all.

But then she thought of something. "Wait… you got locked in lockers? Seiyo High doesn't _have _lockers."

Ikuto made a sudden left turn, silencing them both for a moment as they turned onto the street the flower shop was on. Amu was suddenly reminded that she hated having to work every day.

"I went to SA," Ikuto replied eventually.

_Seiyo's Academy of the Arts? _Amu's mind wandered endlessly. What talent did Ikuto have that could qualify him for such a selective school? She couldn't think of anything. "You're not an artist, are you?"

"I play the violin."

Now, those four words had Amu feeling kind of complicated. On the one hand, she was excited to find out that Ikuto knew how to play the violin, and was anxious to hear (he _had _to be good, since he got into SA and all), but on the other hand, she was upset that he didn't tell her. It had her feeling like he didn't trust her or something… and it wasn't a good feeling.

"For real?" she managed to ask.

He nodded. "For real."

"… Why didn't you tell me?"

It seemed like Ikuto thought long and hard about his answer. Even as they pulled up in front of the flower shop, he hadn't answered her yet. Maybe it hadn't been such a long time, though; it just felt like that to Amu. But she found herself a bit reassured when he finally responded.

"You never asked," he added simply, taking the liberty to get out of the car.

Well, that left Amu feeling even more confused than before. Should she have asked 'do you play violin?' when they first met? Of course not. _Nobody does that_, she narrowed her eyes. Ikuto was complicated.

But when he opened the door for her, it kind of all melted away. Despite the complexities of the different relationships she'd been facing lately, the only thing she faced right then was work. And she had to put on a happy face to sell flowers to people. What kind of job was that, anyway? _Great, _she thought. Now he had her rethinking every decision she'd ever made.

There wasn't any need for words as Ikuto escorted Amu into the shop. Conversation seemed useless in that moment. And from what she could see through the glass doors, there were already two costumers in the shop. Two kids, it seemed, talking to Yukari. When Ikuto opened the door, the bells on the handle jingled, directing all the attention towards them.

Amu then realized that the two kids were Yaya and Kairi. _But… _Amu's brain was already halfway melted as it was. _She was at Utau's house when I left… _

Yaya clasped her hands together, her eyes lighting up excitedly. "Amu-chi!"

"Hey," Amu waved awkwardly. She realize that showing up to her job with Ikuto wasn't doing anything to support her _we're-just-friends_ case. But what did it even matter, anyway?

Kairi looked incredulous. "You guys know each other?"

Amu looked up at Ikuto, then at Yaya, then at Kairi and Yukari. Suddenly, everything seemed so indescribable. In the most amusing way, too. "It's kind of a funny story…"

"A very, very _long _story," Yaya added.

"Well, I don't wanna hear it," Yukari pushed up her glasses haughtily.

Ikuto rolled his eyes. "You haven't changed, Sanjo-san."

As Yukari took a moment to direct her glare in their general direction, Amu looked back at Ikuto. "You know each other?"

"Utau, Yaya, and Sanjo have been friends for a while," he replied.

She nearly collapsed. "Does _everyone _know each other?"

Kairi nodded blankly. "In Seiyo, yes."

"Well!" Yaya announced loudly. "Yaya and Kairi are about to walk to the mall." With that, she grabbed her boyfriend's hand, leading him off towards the front doors. Kairi didn't even bother to say goodbye, himself.

"Have a good time, you guys!" Amu waved to them. She didn't exactly know how she felt right then. _Overwhelmed _was probably the best word, but she wasn't upset. It was more like, overwhelmed with comfort. She felt right.

Now it was just her, Ikuto, and Yukari standing in the flower shop, not speaking to each other. Yukari was still pretty upset about Ikuto's comment, it seemed. Amu was just anxious to get back up on her blue stool.

"Funny," she began randomly. "I could've sworn that Yaya-chan was still at Utau's house when we left. How about you?"

"She was," Ikuto nodded. "But if Sanjo-san drove them here, then your problem's solved."

Amu chuckled.

Yukari narrowed her eyes. "I never liked you."

Ikuto grinned smugly.

"… Good."

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>See? I told you it was gonna be short and meaningless... but I hope you enjoyed it, because the next chapter is probably gonna be more 'shocking' or 'eventful' than this one. And no, it has nothing to do with IkutoTadase/Utau. I think it focuses more on Amu's friends that we haven't talked about in a while. You know, Kukai, Rima, and Nagi? I almost forgot about them, with all the drama that's going on here. But anyway, on to my review responses!**

**Response to addmison2: Yeah, sadly, it is. I don't really want it to end either! But, I think I'm gonna end it at twenty-five chapters or so. Which means that we're more than halfway through. Thank you for the cookie! :3 And don't worry, there's gonna be more Amuto as this story progresses. But right now, I think we're heading into the Tadamu tunnel. But there's Amuto-y goodness at the end! I promise!**

**Response to xxToxicMemoryxx: I _do _like Utau's house. It seems very comfy to me. And yes, I think of Utau as an introvert. No matter how often she performs or how many fans she has, I think she's pretty introverted. And cynical, which goes hand and hand with that. Don't worry... Kukai will meet Utau soon. _How _they meet is pretty funny, I think. You know, ever since, in the anime, then the guardians went to Yaya's ballet recital, and Kukai cried, he'd always been my favorite character. I don't even like watching episodes that he's not in xD. As for Utau and Amu, I'm pretty sure that their relationship will be starring more in later chapters. And... sorry. I'm not gonna reveal anything about Amu's past to you. I can't! TT^TT**

**Response to Tess Of NeonShoelaces: Yeah... we're friends, I guess. I love developing relationships with my reviewers. It's like each of us is in the middle of our own little conversation right now, so welcome to the club, Fine Canadian Friend! So... does this mean you're thirteen? Cool! So am I! But I'm gonna be 14 this coming October. Ummmmmm, no 0.o This is an AU, so Ran, Miki, and Suu do not exist. Neither will they ever come into existence in this story...**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Hope this was quick enough for youuu :). Yep, that's really a legend. Japanese people are really superstitious. Even as kids. But I'll read up on the statue, thanks for that information! :3 Ooooh, thank you so much! I hate it when authors write him negatively in their stories. He's a good character, you know? He's got his imperfections, but you can tell he's really trying... anyway, BRILLIANT? Oh, my goodness, you just made my day! :DDDD And I agree with everything else you said in your review, including the thing about what Utau said. That's was right on! Yeah, I KNOW RIGHT? I love it when stories provide little things for you to think about. Thanks for the awesome review!**

**Response to KatCano02: No, I've not read it. Man, all my reviewers are coming to me with these things about paper cranes that I never knew... Love you guys! :3 Um, I'm afraid to say that you're wrong about both your assumptions. I don't know what you meant by 'emo', but judging by the actual definition of the word, Amu was not. And neither does Yaya have diabetes. Sorry :D. Oh, I see what you're saying. And thanks! I've been working really hard on the companion!**

**Response to pie-chi: Ooooh, looks like I have more readers from Canada than I thought. I'll have to check my country stats again! :) I think it's about ten more chapters until the story is done. Can you believe it?**

**... Here we are at the end, people. Loveeeee youuuu!**

**-Kanon ;D**


	16. Change

**Woohoo, everybody! All you Rimahiko-lovers out there, this chapter is kinda for you. And for you "Futatabi no Geijutsu"-readers, it kinda spoils things (but not too much, of course!). I hope you all like this chapter, despite the lack of Kukai-ness in it. I _do _adore Kukai, but I just couldn't find a way to add him into here, so... there you go. Sorry.**

**... I feel like I've lied to you by saying that he was gonna be in here.**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Sixteen… **_Ni Henko: __Change_

**Tags: **_studying, curiosity, kiss, parents, text, park, blanket, clouds, mistake, change. _

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Rima was never good at studying.

Which is why she was over at Amu's house at noon on Sunday, going over their chemistry book before a big test. Now, usually Rima was too proud to ask for help, but this was different. This test counted for twenty percent of their grade, and was both comprehensive and interactive, which meant that they were basically striking up a lab in Amu's bedroom.

Just then, Amu was sprawled out on her bed, paging through her copy of the science book. "Why didn't you just ask Nagi to help you?" she asked.

Rima, who sat on the floor, seemed a bit irritated by the question. Awkwardly, she raked her hand across her blonde braided hair, almost like she was making sure that it was still there. "I don't need him all the time, alright?" she snapped. "And what if I _wanted _to ask you, huh? Did you ever think of that?"

Amu blinked. "Yeah, I did… I was just curious."

"Curiosity killed the cat." Rima closed her science book with a slam.

Amu mimicked her, pushing up on her elbows to look down at her friend. Now, Rima was nasty to anyone on any given day, but something was wrong. Amu could tell.

"Rima-chan," she raised an eyebrow. "Are you and Nagi fighting?"

Rima sighed. Putting her book down, she resorted to staring up at the ceiling. "… No. But I did something wrong."

Now Amu was interested. She sat all the way up, eager to hear whatever it was that Rima had to say. "What happened?"

"Purple-head and I…" Rima faltered. "We, you know… we kind of… kissed?"

Amu nearly fainted.

Rima and Nagi had been friends since the dawn of time. And arch-enemies, too. Never in her life had Amu imagined that Rima would be telling her this. It had to be some tragic mistake.

"Rima-chan, you _didn't_…"

"We did," Rima replied, looking down at her lap. She inhaled sharply, they way she always did before she was about to cry.

Amu was quick to throw her legs over the side of the bed. Now, she wasn't about to ambush Rima with affection (she didn't like to be comforted), but she wasn't gonna listen to her friend sob all afternoon either. "Rima-chan, don't cry!"

"I'm not," Rima tried to assure her. But it was lie, as she wiped her face. "I just… didn't want this to happen to us."

"Didn't want _what _to happen to you?" Amu was confused.

"This. Everything," Rima sniffed. "I don't want this to ruin us like it ruined my parents."

_If she keeps going, both of us are gonna be crying_. Amu exhaled thoughtfully. "Look, Rima-chan. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, okay? And I don't think you should talk to Nagi about it."

Rima chuckled breathily. "I wasn't going to."

"Do you want meto talk to him?" Amu continued. "Or maybe I could talk to Kukai-nii, and _he _could talk to him."

"Just stay out of it," Rima ordered.

_I'm just trying to help. _"Okay."

Rima anxiously pulled her braid over her shoulder, running her hands over it repeatedly. Amu had only seen Rima like this once before, when Nagihiko had placed above her during a placement test in school. Usually, they placed together, so it shook her up a bit. That was a few weeks ago, and Amu didn't think Rima was quite over it yet. Anyhow, there were bigger things to think about right then.

"Maybe it wasn't that big of a deal," Rima tried to convince herself. "I didn't mean to anyway… I just-"

Before she could finish, Amu's phone started buzzing. Rima looked down to the floor beside her, recognizing the picture on the cellular's small screen. _Fujisaki Nagihiko, _the large kanji read. Even the name unsettled her, as she picked up the phone and handed it to Amu. She didn't have to guess why Nagi was calling.

"It was just a text," Amu informed the world once she flipped open her phone. That didn't seem to make Rima feel any better.

_To: Hinamori Amu  
><em>_From: Fujisaki Nagihiko_

_We need to talk… meet me at the park? _

"He wants to talk."

"Great."

"Cheer up, Rima-chan," Amu said. She was starting to get concerned. "At least you've kissed someone."

Rima narrowed her red, tear-ridden eyes, facing Amu with an intimidating glare. "That's hardly the point."

"And work on your science book," Amu ignored her. With that, she stood up from her bed, walking across the hardwood floor. "If you fail this science test, you can kiss your scholarship goodbye."

"Where are _you _going?"

"Nagi wants me to meet him at the park," Amu reached for the jacket that hung on her doorknob.

"And what am _I _suppose to do?" Rima seemed slightly offended. But maybe _betrayed _was a better word.

"Stay here. Study."

Rima crossed her arms. "Fine. Ami-chan is way more fun to hang out with than you anyway."

"I'm sorry, Rima-chan," Amu apologized, putting on her jacket. "I'm not the one who kissed Nagi."

Rima had no comeback for that one.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Amu's brain was completely fried by the time she got down to the park. So much had been going on lately, she'd completely forgotten about her school life, and all her friends. And now all this drama out of nowhere? The last time she checked, Rima would rather have jumped off a bridge than have a relationship with Nagihiko even cross her mind. Now there was all this business about them kissing. Where did this even happen, anyway? And when?

There was also Tadase cancelling the date he and Amu had planned. She didn't quite understand what, exactly had caused this. But it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that they didn't have a repeat of what happened last time.

_There are too many things to think about. _Her life was getting too complicated.

But here she was, sitting in the park with Nagihiko, laying back on a blanket and looking up at the sky. For a while, they remained silent, watching the clouds roll by inconspicuously. It reminded Amu of when things were simple. It also reminded her how easy it was to be with Nagi. No wonder Rima liked him so much; he seemed more down-to-earth than anyone else she'd ever met. There was something special about each of her friends that she loved.

Nagi was down-to-earth, Kukai was comforting (she could always count on him to be the one to make everything okay), Tadase was familiar, Rima was refreshing, Utau was interesting, Yaya was different, Kairi was amusing, and Ikuto was real.

_Ikuto…_

"So, Amu-chan…" Nagihiko began, interrupting her tranquil thoughts.

Amu blinked, her amber focus sharpening again. "I know why you asked me to come here, Nagi."

"You do?" He folded his hands behind his head.

Amu didn't have to look at him to tell that he wasn't surprised. Rima usually told her everything. Right after _him_, that was. "Yep. All I wanna know is why it's such a big deal?"

"It's a little more complicated than a 'big deal'…" Nagi sounded like he was frowning. "You know how Rima-chan is. How her parents are."

"So does that mean you aren't gonna do anything about it?" Amu asked, raising her eyebrows at the sun.

He yawned. "I don't know. I just don't want to do anything wrong, you know?"

"I know," she nodded. "This is the first time in your _whole life _you've ever messed up, isn't it?"

"I wouldn't say that, but-"

"-But what?" Amu demanded. There was a sudden edge to her otherwise gentle voice. "Do you like her?"

Nagihiko hesitated. There were so many certain things about him. Like his perfect grade-average, his love of sports, his long, purple hair. All those things would never change. But Rima was the only thing about him that would always change. She was unpredictable, and they _both _knew it. They just laid there… knowing it.

"… Yeah. Of course."

Amu nodded knowingly. She'd been sure of the answer, but hearing it was reassuring. "I'll tell you this, not as your friend, but as a _girl_. Rima-chan's not gonna wait for you… she already thinks this was a mistake."

"It _was _a mistake," Nagi reminded her.

She shrugged. "Maybe. But who made the mistake?"

Silence.

Amu sat up, patting Nagihiko on the knee. "Talk to Kukai-nii about it. He _always _gets the girl."

"But his bad pick-up lines last longer than the relationships," Nagihiko added.

She laughed. He laughed.

"You're right about that," Amu smiled. "Congratulations, you passed the test."

"What's the point of a test when everybody knows the answer?"

Amu shrugged again. "I don't know, maybe he'll change. Maybe you'll change. Maybe Rima-chan will change."

Nagihiko could've asked about Amu. He could've asked whether she'd change. He could've asked another question about Rima. There were so many different choices he could've made in that summer moment. But… he made the right one.

"Thank, Amu-chan."

"You're welcome, Nagi."

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

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><p><strong>What did you think? Are you excited about the Rimahiko development? Because I am. I'm not quite sure what's gonna go on here, but it's gonna start getting a little more serious now, you know? Haha, here are the review response...!<strong>

**Response to xxToxicMemoryxx: Well, I've never watched Bleach, but it seems pretty popular. I know, right? My mom would've shot me if I did that! :3 But Ikuto's not allowed to shoot Amu... she's needed for the story. And if you didn't catch it before, the reason Yaya got to the flower shop before Amu is because Yukari drove her, and she's a reckless driver xD. I HOPE YOU'RE STILL SMILING! :D**

**Response to OliviaLively: Haha, I love cats too! But sadly, I'm not old enough to work yet. I once volunteered in a local library once, but it was boring... :( Anyway, where do you work currently? I mean, not the location (I'm not a creeper :3), but the place. I think you've mentioned your job before. Thanks for the review.**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Yeah, lol! I've had Special A mentioned to me a couple of times. Mostly, it was people telling me that the companion to this story reminded them of SA. I've seen some of episode 13, I think, on TV. But I've never tried to watch the series through. Oh, no. He isn't. Even though the Japanese kids are kinda behind us on grade ages, they don't really have grades. The call them 'years'. And even though they start middle school at 12/13, they graduate high school at 18. And since Ikuto's nineteen, he's all done with school. And no, from what I've seen and researched, Seiyo school divisions don't have lockers. They just carry everything around in their schoolbags, like the one Amu has :). Yeah! It wasn't my original idea to have everyone know each other, but it just worked out that way. And even though I haven't revealed it yet, Nagi, Rima, and Kukai are in the little mix too! Everybody in this story is connected... (I think I just gave away the moral of the story). ARE YOU SERIOUS? Dude, this story is _not _that good... it has too many errors to deserve your compliments! But you're soooooo nice! ... I think I love you :3.**

**Response to addimison2: Well, I can't really rush the Amuto, since I have a plan and everything. But the Tadamu is coming soon... I think it's in the next chapter, I believe. Hopefully, it doesn't drive you away. Because technically, this isn't an Amuto story... it's a story about Amu with Amuto in it.**

**Response to KatCano02: Hahaha. As we've learned from the anime, no one really knows how strong Amu really is. She can toss Ikuto into the air one day, and then not be able to do a chin-up in gym the next. OF COURSE I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND! KDASFGUIHO! Making friends with my readers is one of the reasons why I post my writing on this sight! :D **

**That brings me to another end, thank goodness. I can't believe we're getting so close to the ending! Do you realize that there are only nine chapters left until this story is over? Scary, right? *shudder* Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this... it took a long time to decide what I wanted to put into it! And one more thing...**

**RIMAHIKO FTW.**

**-Kanon ;D**


	17. Sure Thing, When?

**Oh my gosh, guys. Do you realize that we're already up to seventeen chapters? Just thirteen more and we're done with this whole story. I can't believe it... feels like it was last week that I started the crappy draft of chapter one. I feel kind of... sad. **

**Can't explain it, but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna miss talking to you guys after this is all over. I make such strong connections with all my readers/reviewers that I hate tearing myself away from a story so quickly. However, there's still the companion, which only has about six chapters, I think. LOL, I don't even know xD.**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Seventeen… **_Hai. Toki?: Sure Thing. When?_

**Tags: **_busy, smirk, choke, braids, hug, confused, blush, blue guy, sitting in a tree, text, Tadase, mural, enough._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Amu was definitely busy lately.

But somehow, she managed to find enough time to fit in something she'd been looking forward to. You see, Ikuto and Utau barely ever got to se each other nowadays, since they both had their careers to think about. Ikuto was always on the road for 'personal reasons' (his own words), and Utau was constantly touring… so if all the information Amu had collected was true, then besides the concert, it had been a year and a half since the siblings had actually been face-to-face.

And that's where our little strawberry came in.

Currently, Amu was stationed at the coffee shop, sitting down at a table near the window. Across from her sat Tsukiyomi Ikuto, looking as uncomfortable as he could possibly be. Amu knew why; he hated surprises.

"At least _try _not to look so miserable," Amu pleaded, taking a sip of her water (courtesy of Kukai, who knew how much she opposed coffee).

Ikuto sighed. "I'm not miserable, this is just the way my face looks." Then, as if a comfortable thought crossed his mind, he smirked. "Is there something you have for me, Amu?"

Amu recognized that smirk. He was always teasing her, saying the most perverted things. To think that sort of thing would even cross his mind- she nearly sprayed her water all over the table. But since Amu had such good manners, she could only choke awkwardly instead.

"God, no." She blushed, trying her best to keep her eyes on her lap. His amused chuckle only deepened her crimson-colored cheeks.

"I was only joking," he assured her.

She didn't feel, as such, very assured. But their little interaction was cut short by the appearance of Amu's savior. Souma Kukai, who (if you remember) worked at the coffee shop, came striding over to their table with a bemused look on his face.

"Kukai-nii!" Amu breathed a sigh of relief.

Kukai ruffled her pink locks, thereafter crossing his arms superiorly. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Her face flashed with confusion as she looked once at Ikuto, and then back to him. "Why?"

"Nothing." Kukai shrugged, tone full of nonchalance. "It's just… I looked up and saw you choking over here."

Amu frowned. "Why is everybody picking on me?"

Kukai threw his hands up. "Hey, I was just being concerned."

Amu then decided not to say anything else. If Ikuto and Kukai wanted to talk so badly, they could talk to each other. It would be easier that way, rather than having her communicate to the both of them. And they might've even become friends. They were both definitely similar.

And to add to this awkward situation, into the coffee shop walked Hoshina Utau, world-famous pop star. Amu grinned; this was going just how she'd imagined. To disguise herself, Utau wore a pair of green-rimmed glasses, with her blonde hair tied into two long braids. Her spectacular violet eyes covered, she looked exceptionally ordinary. Not like an international pop star. Just white hoodie, blue-jean ordinary.

But that all changed when she saw Ikuto.

Utau snatched her glasses off, revealing her starburst eyes. _Excitement _wasn't the word to describe the look on her face. Tears began to well, threatening to run over into oblivion, and forcing her to bite her lip.

"Ikuto?"

Tsukiyomi Ikuto stood up. Now, he wasn't a typically emotional person, but Amu could tell what he was feeling. She just knew these things about him. But still, she couldn't help but wish he looked at her that way.

Without words, Utau closed the gap between her and her brother (ignoring Amu and Kukai), throwing her arms around her neck. And Ikuto hugged her back, looking so relieved. Even though this whole encounter was going by unnoticed, and probably no one in the coffee shop would remember seeing it, Amu felt the need to look away; it was almost like she didn't belong in their moment.

So instead she looked up at Kukai, who seemed slightly confused… or baffled. And of course, Amu knew why. Because his favorite singer stood right before his eyes, and judging by his many years of dedication, he recognized her. But Amu wouldn't say anything about it for now.

"It's so good to see you!" Utau exclaimed, refusing to let go. Her voice was barely a whisper, but yet strong enough to transcend the barrier between them. "How's mom? Where is she?"

Ikuto gently caressed her back, looking a little apologetic as he replied, "Anywhere but here."

Utau pulled away. Slowly, she looked him up and down, studying every part of him. "You got taller… where've you been all this time?"

"France," Amu answered, before she could stop herself. She immediately looked down; _I didn't mean to interrupt them. _It was just… she was feeling a little bit jealous. After all, Utau was getting all the attention.

"France? Why?" Utau raised an eyebrow at her brother.

Ikuto gave her a returning look. One that obviously meant something, otherwise she wouldn't have winced the way she did. Rubbing her arm awkwardly, she turned to Amu.

"Did you plan all this?"

Amu smiled a little, nodding. "Yeah. I'm sorry, I just thought that-"

_She must be in a hug-ish mood._

Utau effectively ended Amu's sentence by giving her a friendly hug. Much friendlier than Amu ever remembered her being. But what was she to do except hug her back? There were no promises or debts owed right then… only the _thank you_ that Utau was unable to say.

When Amu pulled away, things got a little silent between the four. Utau took a step back, obviously looking embarrassed as she resided by Ikuto, who seemed a little shaken up. Kukai, on the other hand, had no idea what was going on. He just stood there, his emerald eyes completely lost into whatever was going on. The whole time he'd just been staring at Utau as if he didn't believe what he was seeing. It wasn't every day you got to meet your celebrity idol, you know.

"Utau," Amu gestured to him. "This is my friend Kukai. Kukai-nii, this is Utau."

Kukai seemed to keep his cool as he stuck a hand out to Utau politely. It was all Amu could do to keep from laughing. _He's pretending like he doesn't even know who she is! _Of course, Utau was disguised and everything, but she just had this unmistakable look… which made Kukai look pretty stupid.

However, she shook his hand. "Hi." Her tone was rising just above its normal flatness. "You must be pretty confused."

"More or less," he replied, shrugging. "Nobody tells me anything."

And then Utau smiled. But afterwards, since smiling wasn't really her thing, she blushed, withdrawing back into Ikuto like a child. _Her braids definitely make her look like one_. Amu and Ikuto exchanged quick glances. She hadn't seen Utau act like this around anybody, and from the looks of his expression, neither had he. And Amu was still kind of miffed by the fact that Kukai was acting like this was the first time he'd ever seen her. Which was totally untrue, because he had about five posters of her in his room.

"Well, I've gotta head off," Kukai said now, tapping his watch. "Still on the clock."

Utau's eyes widened as if she'd just now noticed the tacky workshirt he was wearing. "Oh, you work here?"

"If I don't get back to work right now, no."

"Then go," Amu nudged him. "I'll be just fine without you."

He nodded. "Don't choke."

Amu scowled. Ikuto chuckled. Utau raised an eyebrow.

"See you later, Hinamori." On that note, Souma Kukai went off towards the front counter. "It was nice meeting you, Utau… and you too, Blue Guy."

_Blue Guy, _Amu stuck her tongue out at Ikuto. _Who's laughing now?_

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

_Utau and Kukai sittin' in a tree…_

Amu was feeling very alone. Even though she was still in the coffee shop, sitting with Ikuto and Utau. The two went on and on talking about things she didn't understand. Like _"So Tsukasa-san finally did write that book?" _and _"I wonder whatever happened to Tada-shii…" _or _"Two thousand white camellias in a year, Ikuto. That's your personal best." _So she just stayed out of their conversation, making sure to keep extra quiet. After all, they hadn't seen each other for a year or two… they deserved this. Amu was quite proud of herself for arranging everything, but it didn't seem like she was going to get a word in any time soon.

But she felt kind of excited when she felt her phone buzz. A little flutter of butterflies turned in her stomach as she tried to figure out who it was. Maybe it was Nagihiko, wanting to talk to her about Rima again, or Rima, wanting to complain about Nagihiko… perhaps it was Kukai, texting her a joke from ten feet away. She didn't bother to look over her shoulder to check, but only dug into her pocket, fishing out her little pink cellular.

_New text from: Hotori Tadase_

Amu blinked; she couldn't believe it. Was she reading the kanji wrong, or something? Because there was no way Hotori Tadase was texting her. First of all, he would be too busy with schoolwork to even bother, and second, he'd probably have forgotten her number by now. But they used to be so close…

_To: Hinamori Amu  
><em>_From: Hotori Tadase_

_Hey, Amu-chan. I'm working on ideas for the school mural, and I thought that since you're so good with that kind of stuff, that you could help out. What do you say? __J_

She nearly wet her pants. What did she say? She couldn't say anything. So instead of using words, she texted him back immediately. Amu didn't care if it made her look desperate… she'd been waiting for this. She deserved it. And even though Tadase probably only wanted an outline for the mural drawing, and nothing was going on, she couldn't help but be ecstatic.

_To: Hotori Tadase  
>From: Hinamori Amu<em>

_Sure thing. When?_

Amu couldn't believe that he remembered that she liked to paint. Of course, _she _remembered everything. But it was different for her. This relationship meant so much. It meant enough to justify the ring on her finger, enough to justify the butterfly tattoo. It meant everything.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

Amu looked up, met with the faces of Ikuto and Utau, looking rather worried about her. But there was nothing to worry about. Except for the fact that she couldn't even think straight.

Despite the fact that Utau asked the question, Amu decided to answer to Ikuto. It was just so much easier that way. "I just… got a text from a friend. That's all."

"That's all," Utau seemed to repeat to Ikuto, as if reassuring him. Or the both of them.

_That's all. _Amu had successfully gotten away with making it look like it wasn't such a big deal. But it was. To her, at least. This would mean the world to her if it went the way she imagined. Or even if it didn't.

But maybe she was just being dramatic.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

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><p><strong>WAHAHA, I'm very disappointed with this chapter. While it did portray what I'd originally planned, I felt it was lacking any actual emotion. I think I kinda skipped over some of the things I should've put in there, like the exact things Utau and Ikuto were feeling. But I wanna know what you guys think! And while you're telling me, I have to head off and finish the latest chapter of "Shugo Chara! Fukugen!" ... Review responses!<strong>

**Response to Mayonaka Naze: Well, I think they'll get past it. Nothing can destroy Rimahiko's relationship, ne? ;) Oh, thanks. Sometimes I hate being blunt about things, just saying "Rima looked as if she could cry." What's the fun in that? I like to say things without actually saying them... it toys with the mind. And I know that must sound sick, but that's just the way I roll :D.**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Haha, I bet you'll find it pretty ironic when and where they kissed, which I'm going into full detail about in the companion. Ahhh, I know Rima calling Nagi names like "purple-head" and "queery" is pretty cliche in this fandom, but sometimes I like to hold on to that kind of stuff. In a way, it's a original in itself, I guess. Yeah... while there's really no abuse or anything going on in her household (SHOCKER! Because everybody writes her family that way), a kid who's parents are splitting up is gonna have some doubts about... everything. And yes, Seiyo is real. Though I can't remember whether it really is a city, or whether it's a whole state. I think it's a city, though. And thank you! :D**

**Response to Resha Tsubaki: Love the username ;). OH GOSH. I hate those kind of fics. While, written well, it can be exciting and interesting, I have to admit that most of them are written terribly. And you're right on, sista! If you keep reading, I think you'll catch onto what happened pretty soon.**

**Response to xxToxicMemoryxx: Really? Rimahiko is my first favorite couple. I usually write Rimahiko fics, and this one right here was just a little experiment. Amuto is my second fave, and Kutau is my third. But I also love the little side ones, like TadasexLulu and KairixYaya... And I have to admit, I've thought about writing a SaayaxKirishima fic once or twice. AND OF COURSE KDJSFYGIU! If you've noticed, Rima has not once denied liking Nagihiko in this story, which proves she loves him! We'll just have to wait to see where this road takes us... Ah, yes. Amu doesn't usually refer to Rima with an honorific in the series because they're so close, but here, the person Amu is closest to is obviously Kukai, which is why she calls him 'Kukai-nii'. So, considering that, Rima and Amu are still on an honorific-name basis. Nagihiko makes everyone smileeee. He's such a great character! If not for Kukai, he would be my favorite male character. My favorite female character is obviously Rima, just because she's so easy fro me to write about. Amu, Utau, and Yaya, on the otherhand? They're a little more difficult. Thanks for your review!**

**Response to NeonShoelaces: Thank you. And I promise to be more positive about my writing from now on. You guys definitely motivate me with your reviews! :D**

**Response to KatCano02: Well, not really. I kind of got ahead of myself. Tadamu in the _next _chapter, for sureee. Even though I'm sure you're not looking forward to it. I'm pretty neutral between Tadamuto. Even though I do believe Ikuto and Amu are going to end up together (and I like that pairing), I'm pretty okay with writing Tadamu, mostly because they're relationship is just so... young. It's cute, it's early, it's... fun. Hahayeah... it's kind of sad to think of how much Amu has to deal with, and you guys don't even know about the really heavy stuff yet! ;)**

**Response to OliviaLively: Actually, I didn't know about the character thing. That's really helpful! I'm gonna use that rule from now on... that way my characters will stay IC all the time (because I waver sometimes). Oh yessss, I'm excited. I LOVE SCHOOL. Gonna be a freshman this year, which I don't think'll be too bad, because I have lots of friends at the school (private prep), and we're all like family (like you said at your work). I would _love _to be friends with youuu :D.**

**Response to Shades-Soul: Well, I'll try to update as soon as possible! :)**

**Response to addimison2: Me too! Rimahiko has always been my favorite pairing... ever. I never ever got really excited about the main pairing of any anime I've ever watched. Like, I'm okay with Tadamuto... either one would make me happy. Same with KanamexZeroxYuki from Vampire Knight. Whoever Yuki ends up with I'd be happy (I need to finish season 2, by the way). Oh, and I love long reviews ;).**

**(singing) WE'RE AT THE ENDDDDDDDD... of the chapter, that is. I really hope you guys liked this; I'm starting to develope the little side-pairings, if you haven't noticed. Like these little bits of Yairi, Rimahiko, and Kutau that you've been seeing. It's all going to amount to something, I promise.**

**Thanks for all your support!**

**-Kanon ;D**


	18. Weightless

**So... I know it's been a while. But you know what? In my defense, I actually thought it'd only been two weeks since I last updated. Which is still a long time, but I didn't even BEGIN to think that it's almost been a whole month. I'm sorrryyy. **

**Anyway, now I gotta work on updating "Futatabi no Geijutsu" and "Shugo Chara! Fukugen!" (which is now off of hiatus). I hope you'll bear with me; high school has just started and I'm swamped... got a lot of youth group stuff to do, and plus, it's my sister's birthday this Saturday.**

**Everybody say happy birthday to Haruna-chan!**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Eighteen… **_Mu jūryoku: Weightless_

**Tags: **_weightless, stream, Ye Olde Gang, Lulu, vice, tree, pencil, blush._

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Hinamori Amu was feeling weightless.

Despite her otherwise unpleasant situation, that is. But lately, it seemed as if things were looking up. She'd been in an unreasonably good mood since reuniting Ikuto and Utau, and considering the fact that she was going to visit Hotori Tadase that very day, her spirits were especially lifted.

The visit was, of course, concerning the school mural and nothing more. She was set on putting aside her feelings and concentrating on having a good time. Amu was determined. Her heart was not.

_Definitely_ not, as she knocked on the Tadase's front door. She could hear her heart pumping at the speed of light… it sounded so loud to her, so unnatural. _Be cool, _she told herself, placing a hand on her chest.

Then, the door opened. And, obeying her own commands, Amu's heart stopped.

"Hey." Everything about Tadase Hotori was always the same. His friendly, crimson irises, his inviting laugh, the hair that was almost the exact shade as her eyes, his house (which had forever been open to her whenever she needed it), and his smile, which always managed to fill the empty cracks in her life.

Amu clutched her little wooden box to her chest, hearing echoes of _'home' _in her mind. Sometimes she forgot that before Tadase became anything more to her, they used to be friends. "Hey."

"I'm glad you could make it." Tadase sounded as if he meant it. Which was right, because Amu knew him to never say things he didn't mean. "Come in."

She watched eagerly as he stepped aside, inviting her into his house for the first time in what seemed like forever. It was nice. It felt like she'd never left.

"You haven't changed anything," Amu commented, taking a second to look around once she stepped inside.

The entrance genka was familiarly tan, with a the same coat rack and family pictures that'd been there since the dawn of time. Amu pushed up on her toes in her purple sneakers, inspecting every detail one by one. None of the picture frames were tilted in the least; Hotori Mizue, Tadase's mother, was known to be one for perfection.

"Yeah." Tadase gave the slightest shadow of a chuckle. "My mom's a stickler for the steady stream."

Amu smiled fondly, understanding what he meant. There was an old Japanese proverb that went something like _'A home that never changes is as steady as the stream'_. Which didn't make much sense, but that was the Japanese culture for you.

"Hey," Amu piped up, her voice growing more comfortable by the second. She peeled her hand away from the wooden box to pointed at a certain picture on the wall, which seemed to stand out from the others. "What's this?"

Tadase came close behind her, eager to answer her question. Soon enough he'd come to lay his eyes upon one of his fondest memories. On the wall was the picture in question, which featured _Ye Olde Gang_ (the whole group, including Rima, Nagi, Kukai, Amu, and Tadase) in second grade. In it, they all posed with pointy birthday-party hats, showcasing cheesy smiles and hugging each other. But Rima seemed to be the main focus.

"It's Mashiro-chan's seventh birthday," Tadase explained plainly, as if she ought to know.

Amu continued to gaze at the picture, completely dumfounded by its foreign nature. She studied herself, with her little pink pigtails, and Kukai, who sneakily held two fingers up behind her head, Rima, who stood in the center with an expressionless face, and Nagi, who stayed close by her side. Then, there was Tadase, who stood on the other side of Amu, holding her hand.

Despite her having no recollection of the event, Amu suddenly remembered what it felt like to have Tadase hold her hand. It caused her to bring up her palm and examine it, as it instantly lit up with his invisible touch.

"I don't even remember," she admitted, allowing her hand to return to the little wooden box she was holding.

"I do," Tadase said, his voice sort of wistful. But he quickly recovered, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Hey. Let's get started on that mural."

Amu nodded in agreement, following him out of the genka and into the house. Everything was hauntingly the same; so much that it felt a little unnecessary to have him 'lead' her… she'd been here so many times already. Amu thought these things as they continued through the hallway, straight into the sitting room, which was (unexpectedly) not empty.

The sitting room was quaint. There was a white sofa running against the far wall, with a small coffee table in front of it, and matching recliners to both sides of it. Sitting on the sofa was a small girl, obviously no older than Amu, herself. She sat expressionlessly, apparently awaiting the return of Tadase, unsurprised by the upturning of Amu. She had long, blonde hair and sky-blue eyes; you could almost see clouds in them.

"Amu-chan," Tadase gestured to his other guest. "This is Yamamoto Lulu, class vice."

Of course, Amu knew who the girl was. They'd met. She was vice president of her class, for crying out loud. But still, Amu nodded kindly at her. "Hi."

"Hey." Lulu actually smiled. To Amu, she'd always seemed way too serious, but their appearance had definitely cheered her up considerably. "So, shall we get started?"

Tadase motioned for Amu to sit on the couch. "We shall."

Amu obeyed (she was already so good at it), walking across the room, around the coffee table to take a seat on the opposite end of the couch than Lulu. She set her little wooden box on her lap. "What've we got so far?"

"Well," Lulu began. Her voice was friendly, yet a little stoic at the same time. "We were just discussing something we could represent in the mural, but then that led into a discussion of exactly _what _our school had to represent."

Tadase settled himself into the armchair on Amu's right. "Do you have any ideas?"

"Um…" Amu thought hard. What, exactly, did Seiyo High have to show for itself? There were many things the school was proud of, like their successful student council or their overall student grade-average… but how would you incorporate things like that into _one _thing?

Then, Amu thought about each of her friends. How Kukai and Nagihiko represented their amazing sports program, or how Rima was an example of that overall incredible grade-average… and then there was Amu, herself, who was a product of their expensive arts program. All four of them seemed to always remain friends, despite their different extra-curricular interests and the different groups they belonged to.

"I think the best thing about our school is the togetherness," Amu finally replied. "We're not cliquey, you know?"

Tadase nodded. "That's good. But how would you put that into a mural?"

Then it was silent. _Good question, _Amu added mentally. Though, she had to admire how Tadase was so dedicated to being class president.

"… It could be a painting of a tree," Lulu suggested.

"Yeah, yeah," Amu continued the thought. "And we could have different things in the tree, like a soccer ball stuck in the branches or a musical note hanging from a twig… to represent the different groups!"

"It would show-off every group, but the tree would still symbolize our togetherness," Lulu caught on quick. Amu was beginning to like her more and more each second.

The two girls directed their gazes to Tadase, obviously seeking his approval. But he stayed silent for a few moments; Amu began to worry as he continued to think. Did he not like her idea?

Finally, he spoke. "That's… brilliant, actually."

Amu sighed in relief, a brief pink tinting her cheeks. "Thanks…"

But Lulu interrupted their little moment with her question, "We've established that it works, but can you paint it, Hinamori-san?"

Tadase shook his head, as if the question was infantile. "Of course she can… she can paint anything."

Amu nodded eagerly. "Sure. Do you have any paper?"

Lulu nodded as well, reached to her left on the couch into a schoolbag, which Amu now recognized to be hers. Instantly, she pulled out a purple folder, looking eerily like the ones Nagihiko and Rima had to take to work everyday. Reaching into it, Lulu pulled out a couple of sheets of paper, placing them on top of the folder and then laying the whole set on the coffee table before them.

Amu immediately got to work, opening the little wooden box on her lap to reveal a bunch of little pencils, paintbrushes, and pens. Selectively, she chose two pencils; one charcoal and the other for plain sketching. Afterwards, she closed the box, put it on the couch beside her, and started in on the sheet of paper.

Tadase and Lulu watched as Amu feverishly scratched away at the page, making little marks here and there, looking so determined. At first, it didn't look like all her little lines and swirls would amount to anything, but soon enough, Tadase and Lulu found themselves looking at the beginnings of a _very _skillfully drawn tree.

"Talent," Lulu murmured.

Tadase shifted in his seat. "I almost forgot how good you were."

"I'm not that great," Amu assured them, not even caring to take her eyes off of her work. _Actually, I'm pretty great. _She hadn't really meant to say anything, but after so many years of modest grooming, she'd formulated an automatically negative response to flattery.

"Lies." Tadase shook his head. "You were doing portraits in the third grade."

Lulu sat back on the couch. Running a hand through her light blonde hair, she managed to get it out of her face for two seconds. "I take it you guys have known each other for a long time."

Now Amu looked up. Exchanging glances with Tadase, neither or them said a word. But he smiled. And then she smiled. So then what else was there to do?

"We go _way_ back," he replied, obviously smug at his own response.

Amu took the time to admire her rough tree sketch. She had to admit, it was good. And it reminded her how much she loved to draw. But she hadn't in such a long time… why? With the way she was able to shade the branches, creating the perfect ripples in all the leaves… _I should draw trees more often._

"So," she changed the subject. "Now that we've got the tree down, we have to talk about what we're going to put in it."

"Maybe we should talk to the different clubs," Tadase suggested.

Lulu crossed her arms. "I like that idea. But it would take a while to do all that."

"But we would be incorporating the school in the mural," Amu pointed out. "And who doesn't like being included?"

Tadase yawned, folding his hands behind his head. When inviting Amu over, he hadn't expected for them to get this much done. They were making real progress, and it'd only been half an hour. It made him regret not spending enough much time with her within the last year. They used to be such good friends.

And suddenly, he'd made up his mind.

"I think we've got something really great going on here," he said, looking straight at Amu.

She blushed.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>You can open you eyes now. The Tadamu is overrr! :)<strong>

**Response to : Awwww, thank you. I'm glad you like my stories... I always get the best feeling when I look and see a new reviewer. Of course, I love all my usuals, but you're a new addition. WELCOME! I know, I know. A lot of people don't like the Tadamu... but if you'll bear with me, you'll love where this is going.**

**Response to XeMi-ChIx: Yeah, I love writing Utau. She's such a deep character; she has a whole ribbon of personalities. And the reason Utau and Ikuto were so happy when they saw each other, is because they hadn't seen each other in a year or two. And they're really close. OH, YES. Everybody needs a friend like Kukai-nii. He's great :).**

**Response to kittyallstars: Tadase is _always _nice. I love his character... he's one of my Shugo Chara favorites, you know. And don't worry, you shall fine out soon ;D.**

**Response to TurquoiseShine: Really? You thought the summary was boring? Well, I definitely don't want it to be that way, so do you have any ideas for how I can make it portray the story a bit better? Oh, by the way, welcome to fanfiction. It's a really awesome place :).**

**Response to Mayonaka Naze: The way I roll is amazing, isn't it? Lol. Thanks for the review!**

**Response to cielmikitoaloislvr: Boy, your username sure is a pain to type ;). Just kidding! I know, right? Relationship arcs in fanfictions are the best, if done right. I hope I'm doing it right :).**

**Response to OliviaLively: Hmmmm... your high school has uniforms? Is it a private school? And what's a portable? (I'm sorry, but when you said that, I immediately thought you meant 'porta-potty'). You talking about your writing reminds me: I've got to speed over to your profile and read some of your stories! After all, your reviews are so good (they inspire me to write) that your stories must be amazing. Oh, by the way, school isgoing great! Me and my friends are having a great time, but I'm totally swamped in waist-high homework. Can someone say 'failure'? xD**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Hehe, what kind of writer would I be if I neglected Ikuto's pervert side? A bad one! And yeahhhh, the effects Tadase's text had on Amu were quite drastic. Oh, and Midori and Tsumugu aren't splitting up! That whole time I was talking about Rima, and _her _parents. Not Amu. I meant that people always write that Rima is abused. And they do. Sorry for the confusion! :)**

**Response to KatCano02: I see what you mean. Tadase is a child (and a bit less mature than the others), so he can seem a bit annoying. But I think it's cute that Amu loves him even through that. But it's kind of evident that Ikuto has always had that special place in her heart... :)**

**Response to xxToxicMemoryxx: I see what you mean. I used to write that way too. But then I remembered how much Ikuto loved Utau (he was always looking out for her by distancing himself from her). So if I was writing a story without Easter in it, what's to keep Ikuto away from her, then? I like to imagine that they're very close. EXACTLYYY. We know from watching the series that Amu has always had guy friends (even when she was little), so I put Kukai there as her bestie because it's something new. Something appropriate for this story. Thanks for this great review!**

**... Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Harunaaaa, happy birthday to you! I love you, sis! :)**

**-Kanon ;D**


	19. Finding My Way

**Gahgahgah, I'm backkkk. I had a bit of trouble trying to figure out how I wanted to write this chapter, but rest assured, it's here. It's got a lot of Tadamu, so beware. Though, this is the last chapter that features any real Tadamu. The next chapter is pure Amuto, and then from there on we're in Amu 'N' Ikuto Land. **

**... You guys don't know how good it feels to be typing this, indirectly talking to you all again. It's a great feeling :).**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Nineteen… **_Watashi no Hōhō o Mitsukeru_: _Finding My Way_

**Tags: **_library, vacation, selfish, try, camellia, talk, ring, past, kiss, nothing, run. _

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Amu had always enjoyed the library.

It was a quiet, peaceful place. Always being surrounded by her hectic family and crazy friends, it was nice to get away every once in a while. The library was almost like a little vacation, where she could catch up on schoolwork and study about new types of flowers she'd never heard of. But this time, she wasn't going to the library for those reasons.

That day, Amu was journeying to the library to meet none other than Hotori Tadase. After their last meeting, which had taken place about a week ago, they had gone around the school taking signatures and ideas for the after-school groups' symbols to put in the mural. So now they were meeting up to decide which symbols were going into the final version. And Lulu wouldn't be there, so Amu had to keep on top of herself. _This is just for school._

But when she heard a knock on the front door, she was kind of confused. Not because she didn't know who it was, though. They used a special knock, one only she would recognize. No, she was perfectly sure that Souma Kukai was at her doorstep.

And when she opened the door, she realized she was right.

"Kukai-nii, what're you doing here?" she blinked.

Souma Kukai, dressed in his coffee shop work uniform, stood on her front porch with a grin on his face. Amu couldn't pretend she wasn't happy to see him; he was her best friend. But it sort of confused her.

"I was on my way to work," he explained. "And just thought I'd stop by. Can I come in?"

Amu bit her lip. Here she was, all dolled up in her pastel pink pigtails. And she didn't really have any time to stay home and entertain him; she had to be at the library soon. So she told Kukai the truth.

"Actually, you can't," she began. "I'm leaving to go meet Tadase-kun at the library."

Kukai sighed. But not an irritated sigh. Instead, he sounded like he was getting ready for something. Amu squinted in confusion; whatever he was feeling, it set an off-putting spin on his emerald eyes.

"Listen," he began, sounding a bit apologetic. "I'm sorry."

Now she was worried. "For what?"

"For giving you a hard time about Hotori."

Now, Amu wasn't about to forget what he was talking about. That day, back at school during lunch, when he'd called her out about seeing Tadase. Honestly, Kukai sounded pretty sincere in his apology, but who knew? Amu could was never able to tell when he was lying.

But she was going to give him a chance. "Walk with me," she said, motioning to the sidewalk behind him.

Kukai moved aside, letting her step out onto the front porch, closing the door behind her (no need to say goodbye to her family; they were all elsewhere). Then she continued down the porch steps, leading Kukai out onto the sidewalk. From there they began the journey to the library/coffee shop; they were in the same direction, after all.

And then it was quiet. The lovely afternoon made up for it, though, what with the mesmerizing blue sky, that cool 'almost-autumn' breeze, and the sun, hanging casually overhead. Amu was perfectly okay with not talking to Kukai while they walked (she could just admire the scenery), but she knew she had to.

"I know you didn't mean to be mean." Her voice sounded a little more raw than she'd have liked to admit. "You were just looking out for me."

Kukai nodded, kicking a little pebble into the street. "But I'll back off from now on."

"You don't need to do that," Amu said quickly. "I like having you around, making sure I'm okay. It's just… I've missed Tadase-kun. Maybe I feel differently."

Kukai shoved his hands into his pockets, listening to everything she was saying. "You don't need to tell me. I used to be friends with him, too."

Amu sighed when she heard him say that. Here she was, catching herself being selfish again. She wasn't the only one who'd lost Hotori Tadase as a friend. Kukai, Rima, and Nagihiko had been close to him as well. _Why can't I ever think of anyone but myself?_

"I know," she nodded. "And I know that this won't make things okay, or _normal_. But I can try, right?"

Kukai chuckled, tugging on one of Amu's pigtails. "We can always try."

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Amu had a great time at the library. Comparing signatures and ideas with Tadase sounded boring, but she really enjoyed herself. And most of the time, they just talked, not even _thinking _about the school mural. Like they were doing right then, as they were finishing up their little meeting.

Amu sat down at the reading table in front of the book shelf, paging through a book about camellias while she and Tadase talked. She wanted to be focused on what she was doing, but she found her mind drifting off towards the flower shop. And namely, Ikuto.

"How are your AP classes going?" Tadase asked.

Amu looked up at him. She'd been so lost in her book that she didn't hear him. She blinked dazedly. "Come again?"

"Your AP classes," he repeated patiently. "I asked how they were going."

Now usually, Amu would've felt embarrassed here, but for some reason she didn't. She just smiled, closing her camellia book with a soft thud. "Oh, they're going well. All except for math… lately, I've been slipping."

Tadase leaned back in his chair as he sat across from her. "It seems like the artistic-types have a hard time with math."

She slumped, pouting. "It's driving me to an early grave."

"Maybe," he shrugged. "But I think the paint fumes might beat it to the punch."

Amu started to giggle, but it sort of faded away. How long had it been since she'd actually looked at any of her paint? Too long, she suddenly realized. She missed it. _Funny… 'cause I didn't know I did. _

Tadase noticed the change in her demeanor. Now, he hadn't spent time with Amu in a while, but that didn't mean he cared about her any less than he did when things were relatively 'normal'. And maybe he was no judge, but everything had been different ever since then, and he knew it.

"What's wrong?"

Amu shook her head, sighing. She needed a quick way to get out of that conversation, or else she was going to have a panic attack. So she pushed her chair back, standing up like she needed to put her book back. "Nothing. It's just… complicated."

"Isn't everything?" Tadase had always been so good at getting her to talk. He knew all the right words to make her crack.

But Amu was determined. She kept her head down, picking up her library book on camellias and beginning to turn around. She couldn't do it.

Then Tadase stood up. Amu stayed put right where she was.

"Hinamori-san." His voice was sure and clear.

Amu bit her lip. "Tadase-kun, don't."

"Don't what?" he asked. His tone was hard, borderline harsh. "What is it that you don't want me to do?"

"It's not what I don't want you to do." Amu still wouldn't face him. "It's what I don't want you to say."

Tadase frowned. "Amu-chan. I'm trying to talk to you."

_I should've listened to Kukai. _Amu was mentally beating herself up over her bad decision. She thought she was ready to talk to Tadase again, but she misjudged the situation. How could she not think that this would happen?

Amu spun around sharply. Now she was face-to-face with Hotori Tadase, separated from him only by the table. She studied his blonde hair and crimson eyes… things that she loved about him. She had to prepare herself for what she was about to say.

"Don't." Her voice was crumbling all around the edges. "Because… you've said everything you need to say!"

Tadase was unsure how to respond. He didn't know what she meant. Still, he wouldn't have to reply, because just then their conversation was interrupted by the resounding _"Shhhhh!"_s that chorused nearby. He'd almost forgotten that they were in a library.

But Amu wasn't finished. Distantly, she thrust her hand out, showing him the purple butterfly ring that rested on her finger. "You've said everything you need to say," she repeated, now in a quieter tone. "Tadase-kun, when I agreed to go on a date with you, I didn't think we'd get to this."

"How could we talk around it?" Tadase narrowed his eyes in confusion. "It's obvious you're hiding something from me, it was bound to come up anyway. But you won't tell me."

She nodded, keeping her hand extended between them. "I know, and it's my fault for not expecting this. But Tadase-kun, when I imagined us hanging out, and maybe even getting back together again, I didn't want this."

Tadase's stubbornness surprised Amu. He wasn't usually this rigid. But maybe they both had changed. "What did you expect?"

"Why did you give me this ring?" Amu asked, her amber eyes piercing right through him. "It was a promise, wasn't it? You said that what was done didn't matter… I thought you meant it."

Tadase sighed. How had they ended up here, arguing in a library like this? They used to be so close. "Amu-chan," he said her name again. Looking her straight in the eyes, he reached across the table, taking her outstretched hand in his. "I _did _mean it. I don't care about where you've been, what you've done, or who you used to be. Your past doesn't matter to me."

Chills went up Amu's arm, causing her to shiver. "Then why are we doing this?"

"Because, it seems like…" He seemed to struggle with finding the right words, as he paused. "It seems like whatever happened when I wasn't around… hurt you. And it keeps hurting you. I just wanna know what it is."

And then, he did something that Amu didn't expect, but at the same time, she had expected it all along. Tadase pulled her closer, and then both leaned in, slowly, until their lips met.

Amu had dreamed about this glorious moment for a long time. But never in her whole life had she imagined it to be anything like this. So many emotions and thoughts coursed through her, that she couldn't handle it, and her feelings began to show through. As Tadase was kissing her, she felt like she could cry. Like she'd been waiting for him to do this for so long and then…

Nothing.

Amu felt nothing. Maybe Tadase felt something when he was kissing her, but it wasn't translating. She just stood there, unsure of what was going on. But she was terrified. _So _terrified. She knew what it felt like to feel nothing, no emotions whatsoever. It was unimaginable. And she was so afraid of feeling something like that again, that she pulled away from him.

At first, Tadase looked confused. Seeing his face, Amu was horrified at what she'd done, the mess she'd made. To break the silence, he began to say something, but she wouldn't let him. She _couldn't _let him.

"I'm sorry," she said, both her hands flying over her mouth. She couldn't believe she was doing this.

Tadase reached out for her, but she took a step away.

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

And then she took off.

At first, it was a couple of steps. She ignored Tadase calling after her, and she also ignored the glare of the librarian and the stares of the people who'd been reading. Amu couldn't take their judgment. So she broke into a run, heading in the direction of the side of the city she'd never been on. She needed to get as far away from everything as possible.

There was no way she could get lost.

In fact, she was actually finding her way.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>Soooo... I know it was probably excrutiating for you guys to read, but yes, TADASE AND AMU KISSED. GET OVER ITTT. Hahahaaa, review responses! ~<strong>

**Response to addimison2: Ummm, I'm not sure if I would say that the Tadamu is _over_, but the pairing won't be on the whole for the rest of the story. And... I'll be the judge of whether this story should be Amuto, I think. Technically, it's not an Amuto story, as I've said many times before. It's just a story about Amu with Amuto in it.**

**Response to kittyallstars: I will. She's sixteen now :D. Well, I wouldn't say that we write stuff _together_. I mean, we divide our account between each other, meaning that I write my stories and she writes hers, and this happens to be one of my stories. I hope that made enough sense :).**

**Response to cielmikitoaloislvr: Awwww, that means a lot to me :D.**

**Response to iMisa-chan: Oh, yay! I love it when I get new reviewers, even if they'd been reading my story all along. I'm glad to know you like it, I tried so hard to come up with something unique, that I think no one's ever done before. And I think this was it! :) It seems to be pretty popular, which makes me happy. Thank you for all your compliments! I blush every time I read one. And yeah, there's a lot of anticipation in waiting for Amu to spill the beans about her past and stuff :D.**

**Response to Mayonaka Naze: Haruna-chan sends you a big hug and a thank-you balloon! :)**

**Response to XeMi-ChIx: YES. Finally someone who isn't complaining about the Tadamu... that makes me so happy. Oh, and Amu isn't forgetting about her past. She's just trying to convince herself that it never happened so that she won't ever have to deal with it, if that makes sense. **

**Response to xAmuIkuto: I know, right? But right now I'm pretty caught up, I think. Our first quarter is over, so I'll be getting my grades in next week. Ohhh... I have no idea the guardians were called Ye Olde Gang or not. I just made it up to be cute C;. I see what you're saying... though, I think for Amu and Tadase it was in between friends-friends and just friends. They never really got to a relationship-type point until now. OH MY GOSHHHHH, I keep forgetting that when you write a story, you can't just tell everybody how old everyone is just once... you've got to keep implying it or else they'll forget. I'm sorry. Amu, Nagihiko, and Rima are fifteen. Kukai and Tadase are sixteen. Ikuto is nineteen going on twenty, and Utau is about eighteen. I hope that clears everything up. Gosh, I love talking to you :D.**

**Response to OliviaLively: Ohhhh... I know nothing about Cathology (I'm a non-denominational Christian), but that sounds a bit weird. Still, I guess if it's a Catholic school, why not add in the religion. Ooooh, uniforms! I've always wanted to wear a school uniform, but noooo... I can never get anything I want :(. Okay then, I shall read the Train! Oh, and Haruna sends you a thank-you hug for you wishes! :)**

**Response to Ninja-bunny08: Don't worry, I assure you that Amuto will prevail! :)**

**... And now, FOR THE MOST AMAZING ANNOUNCEMENT IN HISTORY! Just kidding. I just wanted to tell you that from now on we're in the AMUTO ZONEEE. So, yeahhhh. Thanks for caring!**

**-Kanon ;D**


	20. Good Enough

**ENTER: AMUTO. **

**Yessss, it's about that time. Are you ready for the full-on Amuto goodness? Well, I can't say that this chapter is lacking it. And for all of you who were waiting to hear Amu's backstory (lol, that's like everyoneee), this is it! *strikes pose***

**Anyway, I made a little reference in this chapter. A song reference. To an Owl City song. And, just for fun, I wanna know if any of you can find it and figure out what it is. But that is all for nowww. **

**GET READY FOR THE OOC IKUTO! Haha.**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Twenty… **_Jūbun ni Yoi:_ _Good Enough_

**Tags: **_hours, running, 2b, crying, phonebook, tattoo, mutilate, fingers, kiss, hug, blue. _

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Hours may have passed and Amu wouldn't have known in it.

She didn't know where to go. All she knew was that she was running, running away. She couldn't deal with anything. All she ever wanted was the cool air, a gentle life, and someone to call her own. Now she was left only with the cool air, as it surrounded her every movement. It seemed to whisper to her, taking her from place to place. But she couldn't stay long. She doubted that anyone was looking for her, but still. Staying put somewhere made her feel like she was betraying herself. So she let the wind carry her.

Carry her all the way across Seiyo, towards the center of the city. To tall buildings and shiny glass windows. To a small apartment building overlooking the park. Once inside, she climbed up the stairs to apartment _2b_, a completely lost look in her eyes. If she was wrong about this, she didn't know what she would do.

Amu refused to be wrong. She tried her best to compose herself once she reached the top of the stairs. Here, to her left in the hallway, the door to apartment _2b _stood large and looming in front of her. Timidly, she knocked on the door. Twice, her fist shaking.

After the deed was done, thoughts began to flood her mind. She thought of her friends, her family, her life. She thought of the butterfly ring. She thought of the butterfly on her arm. She worried for herself, she worried for Tadase. Tadase… Hotori Tadase who she loved. And yet, earlier in the library she hadn't felt love. No, Hinamori Amu had felt all of nothing. But she would never be _that _way again.

Then, her heart stopped.

Because the door to apartment _2b_ opened. And, standing there, was Tsukiyomi Ikuto.

Amu's words caught in her throat. There he was, in a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt, looking like he'd had a rough day. His dark blue hair was messy, like always. His sapphire eyes widened in surprise.

"Amu?"

And suddenly, she fell to pieces.

"Hey," she greeted him, her voice drowned in tears. She shouldn't have come… but she had to. She blinked repeatedly, trying to keep her emotions in check.

Ikuto narrowed his eyes in confusion… something was going on. "You look…"

Amu chuckled half-heartedly. "I'm a mess, I know."

"I was gonna say 'upset'…" Still, he stepped aside, revealing his apartment to her, silently allowing her entrance.

Amu nodded, halfway stumbling past him. She had no idea what she looked like, what with wind-tousled hair and her abnormally terror-struck, pale skin. She walked into the room as if it were a foreign land, studying everything around her. The front room was empty of all except for the couch, the side table, and the TV, which was plastered onto the wall. Even from where Amu stood she could see into the kitchen.

But Ikuto was still bewildered, as he closed the door behind him. "How did you…?"

"I found you in the phonebook," she cut him off. A tear managed to sneak its way out, and roll down her cheek. Now she turned to face him. "I only did it because I didn't want to go home. Please… don't make me go."

When Ikuto saw that she was crying, he stopped. Usually, he was terrified of emotional people. But now? It affected him. He didn't quite know what to do, as he stood there like a deer in headlights, but he knew that he couldn't watch her cry.

"Amu?"

"I tried, okay?" Amu continued, wiping her face. Though it was useless, as her tears kept running over. "You can call me a wimp for crying… but I really tried."

Ikuto didn't know what to do, as he watched her wander around the coffee table, then crumble onto the couch. She looked so lost, and like she didn't know what to do. It almost reminded him of Utau, and how completely miserable _she'd_ been after their father had left. Even the mere thought of it broke his heart.

"What happened?" he asked, journeying over to the couch where she sat. But did he actually want to know? Maybe he didn't have a choice, as he sat on the opposite side of the couch, preparing himself to hear what she had to say.

Amu felt him sit down next to her, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. She was too ashamed. "A lot of stuff," she answered, taking deep breaths to control herself. "I came here from the library, where I was meeting up with my friend Tadase-kun. You've met him."

Ikuto nodded silently.

Amu thought for a moment about how to summarize her little episode at the library. Perhaps there was no exact way to explain it, but she tried the best she could. "When I was there, he…" She turned to Ikuto, turning her hand palm-up to show him the Butterfly on her Wrist. "… He asked about this."

Ikuto's sapphire eyes traveled down to the little design that artfully played out on her wrist. It was one of the things about Amu that mystified him… she didn't seem like the body-art type. "Your tattoo?"

"Yeah," she smiled thinly. "But… no. It's not a tattoo."

At first, he didn't quite understand. If it wasn't a tattoo, then what was it? But then, it slowly came to the forefront of his mind, as if he'd known it all along. Ikuto looked away, so that she wouldn't see the distraught expression that crossed his face. He knew pain, but not enough pain to drive him to do what Amu had done. Why would she do it?

… Why would she mutilate herself?

When Amu saw him turn away from her, she started to cry all over again. As much as she tried to blink back her tears, they kept coming. "I don't do it anymore, I swear!" she promised, her voice crumbling around the edges. "Though, I'd be lying if I said I didn't _think _about it sometimes…"

"Why?" Ikuto asked. He still couldn't bring himself to face her. "Why did you think about it in the first place?"

She shook her head, not even attempting to wipe her tear-streaked face. "I don't know. But you wouldn't understand…"

Now Ikuto turned to her, looking straight into her amber eyes. Gently, he took hold of her wrist, putting her little 'homemade tattoo' on display. As if she hadn't had to look at it enough already. "Then explain it to me," he said, his voice gentle, but persistent. "Explain to me what was so bad that you would do this to yourself."

"I tried to do _everything _right," she sobbed. "But it was never good enough for them."

Ikuto's grip on her wrist loosened. "Who?"

"My parents." She pulled her hand away, covering her mouth so that she wouldn't make so much noise. "They belittled everything that I did; it was like I could never please them. And then there was Tadase-kun…"

Ikuto frowned. "Did he do something…?"

"No!" she almost shouted. But when she saw the disconcerted look on his face, Amu shrugged, a paper-thin, brief smile playing across her face, despite the tears that were falling into her lap. "… No. Tadase-kun never did anything to hurt me. Actually, he was the only person who didn't. But then…"

She shook her head, looking down at her shoes. How did she get here, sitting on a couch in Ikuto's apartment? How did this even happen? She felt ridiculous, sobbing like this in front of him, but she could no longer use the excuse that she didn't know him. In reality, she knew him too well. "Then… his parents said we couldn't be friends anymore." Amu swallowed hard. "I think that's what made me start… cutting myself. The fact that I wasn't good enough for his parents either. Maybe I wasn't good enough for anyone."

And suddenly, Ikuto understood. Maybe Amu was dangerous, but he knew what that felt like. He could relate. And because of that, he took her hand in his. Amu looked down at their fingers, all intertwined. It made sense to her.

"And then…?" he prompted.

"There's a happy ending," she offered. "Once my parents found out about my… _problem_… they put me in a program and now I'm all better. But they haven't been the same since."

Ikuto blinked. His knowledge of what _real _parents were supposed to be like was going to be of no help, since his father disappeared when he was a kid, and his mother since then wanted nothing to do with her children. So… he couldn't help Amu in this area. But he could listen. "… What do you mean?"

Amu shrugged. "It's kinda like they're ambushing me with affection, you know?"

_I really don't. _

"But it doesn't feel real," she continued. "And I can tell it's not, because ever since they found out I was cutting, little things about them changed. My mom doesn't drink coffee anymore. I don't know why."

Tsukiyomi Ikuto laid against the back of the couch with a sigh. All along, he'd known there was something different about Amu. Even when he first stopped into the flower shop, he sensed that she wasn't just another pretty face. And then there were clues; like the tattoo, clues that let him know he was right. He'd been waiting to figure out what happened to Hinamori Amu. Anticipation. But, now that he knew, he couldn't help but wish that he didn't.

Amu, on the other hand, was at a loss for words. Before she'd met Ikuto, she thought that she would have no problem leaving her cutting behind. Talking about it was fine with her. But slowly, as he began to become a part of her life, she started to realize how much of her past she was still holding onto. And Tadase… poor Hotori Tadase. Heaven knew she loved the boy. She wanted to tell him what had happened, but she just couldn't. Talking about it became too painful. Tadase hadn't done a thing to her, and look how she was treating him. And Ikuto, too. She'd just barged into his life and expected him to take care of her, just like everyone else did. But who was she to demand that?

Her gaze traveled downward; she were still holding hands. Amu was unsure of what to do. In this awkward silence, she didn't want to pull away. The spaces between her fingers were right where his fit perfectly.

For about a split second, Ikuto thought about kissing her. But… that would probably only make things worse. She was still beside herself with worry about this guy he didn't even know. He didn't want to step over that little boundary line, because it looked like she'd spent her whole life trying to draw it. Yet, it was falling apart right before her.

"Listen," Ikuto said, beginning to stand up. He pulled her up by their connected hands, until they were standing face-to-face. "Don't cry anymore, okay?"

"I'm _not_," she tried to assure him, but failed miserably. Mostly because, as she was saying this, she was wiping her eyes. "It's just…"

He then took her by surprise, taking her chin in his hand and tilting her face up to his. Amu was mortally terrified. If he tried to kiss her, she wouldn't be able to handle it.

But Ikuto continued. "I'm not saying that everything's gonna be okay." His voice became a little distant, like he was talking to someone else. "… But, it'll get better."

For the third time that day, Amu started to cry again. But not sad tears. This time, she was just so overly relieved that she couldn't contain herself. Ikuto was such a good guy. Before she could register the thought, she found herself wrapping her arms around his neck in an enormous hug.

And then there was that awesome, feel-good, Japanese-person silence. She was just so thankful that he didn't judge her. And even more than that, Amu was stilled when he started to hug her back. So then they just stood there, in the middle of his apartment, holding each other.

"Thank you," she whispered into his chest. He was about a head taller than her. "For… being here."

"No problem."

Out of the blue, she finally felt good enough.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>Okay, so, Ikuto didn't do a lot of talking here. But that's normal. Because guys don't like to get involved with girls' emotions. So... he was just letting Amu talk. Don't worry, there'll be a lot more of him in the next chappie :).<strong>

**Response to L.J.13: Awwww, thank you :3. I try. **

**Response to cielmikitoaloislvr: Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she doesn't still love Tadase. Well, in a way, it does... but... I won't spoil anything. And yes, I had a hard time writing it because hurting Tadase made me sad. So, as you saw, I left a lot of his reaction to be imagined :D.**

**Response to En ar Ciel: YAY! New reviewer! It's good to see you here, and thanks for leaving so many reviews! I have over 200 now! *throws mini party* YOU'RE SPOT ON. Amu wants nothing more than to have Tadase in her life, but she's too afraid to let him in because of what happened last time. Yeahhh... and now she's feeling bad about it, because all he wanted to know was what happened, and she can't bring herself to tell him :(. Haha, no. Amu is a clever girl... she can find her way. YESH. I try to portray Kukai the best I can, because he's my absolute favorite character. He has a whole ribbon of personalities, but not in a mental-disorder kind of way, haha. I just... love him :3. Welcome to my little review family.**

**Response to Snow: I think you misunderstood me. Of course this story is Amuto. But it's not _about _Amuto, per say. This story is mainly about Amu, but it has Amuto in it. I hope that makes sense :). **

**Response to OliviaLively: LivLiv! How I missed talking to youuu! :) EXACTLYYY. People ask me how I can favor Amuto and be in love with Tadase's character at the same time. It's because there is nothing wrong with Tadase... he's like a perfect kid. But Amu was made for Ikuto... I pity him a little bit (Tadase, I mean. It's a sad story). Haha, you saucy minx. Going pantiless... You make me proud XD.**

**Response to RomanticaKH1: Hehehe, I'm pretty sure all the other readers are on the same page.**

**Response to XeMi-ChIx: Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I hope Amu's revealing of her past was up to your expectations... I was really tired when I wrote it, so if you hate it, I blame sleeplessness entirely XD. Well, Tadase was just trying to help Amu. I mean, how were they going to be able to move forward in their relationship if Amu was still stuck in the past? I think he had to right idea, he just had the wrong girl :(.**

**Response to xxToxicMemoryxx: Ohhhhh, that's what happened. Because I could've sworn that you reviewed chapter eighteen, but then when I looked, it wasn't there :(. Really? I get rather surprised at my reviews, because usually when I feel I wrote the worst, my reviewers tell me that it was the best chapter so far. It baffles me sometimes. Anyway, yeah. Kukai and Ikuto are my favorite male characters in SC... they're so fun to play around with :).**

**Response to Aourie: I know, right? It feels like just yesterday I was editing my first draft of this thing... now we're at chapter twenty. But we've got ten more chapters to go before I can close this thing for good XD.**

**Response to kittyallstars: Well, believe it. 'Cause they did. :D**

**Response to xAmuIkuto: Yeah, I really appreciate the relationship I've created between them in this story. I think it's cute. Come to think of it, I've never read a scene like that between Tadase and Amu either! But I'm glad mine did the deed. Hehe, I felt so bad for Tadase when I was writing that part. I almost didn't put it in. Instead, I was going to write that somebody came in and interrupted them, so she got flustered and ran away. Doesn't that seem like the terribly Amu-ish thing to do? XD**

**Response to Ninja-bunny08: Well, he's right here, of course :).**

**Response to Resha Tsubaki: I was trying to keep it that way, but I'm terrible at not spoiling things, so I had to at least give _clues_. I know, right? I feel so bad for poor Tada-shii. **

**SOOOOOOO... I have nothing else to say. I'll just stop talking and let you guys do the reviewing ;3.**

**-Kanon ;D**


	21. Points

**Hey! ~ I'm gonna try to keep this little author's note short, because this chapter is a little long, if you haven't noticed. So I just wanted to tell you guys about my awesome inspiration parallel for this story! Well, after I decided to write this story, I needed some music to point me in the right direction. This awesome song called "Off the Rails" seemed to do the trick.**

**The whole meaning of the song is about losing track of your life, and then having to slow down and watch things go by for a while. Isn't that beautiful? Well, that's how I thought of this story. Here's the link so you guys can listen to this masterpiece.**

**h t t p : / / w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = P Q 9 g l m Z 2 I c 0**

**Remove the spaces and enjoy.**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Twenty-One… **_Sukoa: Points_

**Tags: **_nothing, stranger, exhausted, bed-head, points, skeleton, impulse, weird, fifty, happiness. _

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

The next morning, Amu awoke to the sound of… nothing.

She immediately shot up in bed, unsure of where she was. Instead of seeing pink pillows and custard-colored walls, like she usually did each morning, she found herself in a stranger's bed. And not just any stranger.

Amu soon found herself remembering all the events of the previous day. It hit her like a hangover… not that she knew anything about what _that _felt like. She remembered being at the library with Tadase, and then completely deserting _that _scene and running to Ikuto's apartment, which was where she had to be right at that moment. Amu scratched her head as she collected the pieces of how she confessed her cutting problem to Ikuto, and how he comforted her, and then they ordered pizza, and then…

She was at a loss for everything that happened between then and that morning, as she lay back against Ikuto's pillows. They smelled like him. It was almost… comforting.

"I'm _so _exhausted," she said out loud, struggling to contain the yawn that managed to escaped her lips.

Immediately afterwards, she focused her gaze on the ceiling. It felt like she was dreaming. But still, she was confused. She now knew where she was, and how she got there, but there were still spaces to fill in her memory.

However, it didn't seem like they would be there for long, because as soon as she made her mind up to go back to sleep, she was interrupted.

Amu didn't know why it hadn't occurred to her that she hadn't seen Ikuto at all yet, but when he appeared, she found herself smiling. There he stood, in the doorway of his bedroom, wearing a tee shirt and pajama pants. His hair was a mess, practically standing straight up. But, to close, he was in the middle of brushing it.

"You're up," he remarked, as if he was surprised.

Amu sighed, sitting up again. "What time is it?"

"About noon," Ikuto replied. "I think it's okay for me to assume you're not an early bird now."

She rolled her eyes. "Where did you sleep?"

"Couch."

Then, all she could do was watch him. There was nothing else to say, unless they wanted to converse about the weather… and Amu was smart enough to know not to do _that_. So she resorted to looking him up and down, realizing how frumpy he looked. Was he like this every morning? She giggled.

Ikuto blinked, a little lost. "What?"

"Your hair." She could hardly contain herself.

"Hey." He narrowed his eyes, pointing his hairbrush at her. "Don't judge, bed-head."

You should've seen the smile slide off of Amu's face. She was perfectly aware that her hair probably looked like death. You know, added with morning breath from the tenth circle of hell. But having Ikuto comment on it only made it _that _much more embarrassing.

"Shut up," she muttered.

Ikuto chuckled, shaking his head. "Get up, okay?"

Amu frowned. And, as if it could protect her, she gripped the ends of the blanket she was under. She would do anything not to leave. "… Why?"

"Because," he answered, as if a proper explanation was unnecessary. "I'm taking you home."

Then, Amu froze.

Being here, on the complete opposite side of town, had made her feel so cut off from everyone else. She totally forgot about everything she had back at home. And her parents… she hadn't seen them since yesterday! They were probably out of their minds looking for her, asking all her friends where she could be… she was going to be in _so _much trouble!

"God," she murmured, her honeycomb gaze falling downward. "I totally forgot about home. My parents are gonna be so pissed."

Ikuto crossed his arms, leaning against the door frame. "Don't worry. I'll be there with you."

"Is that supposed to help?"

"Well, yeah," he replied. "Because everybody loves me."

Even though she was beside herself with worry, Amu couldn't help but laugh at how overly confident he was. And Ikuto, satisfied that he had cheered her up, smirked and began to walk away. "I'll leave you alone now. Bathroom's across the hall."

"Wait!" Amu exclaimed. "What about breakfast? Or lunch, or whatever…?"

"We'll pick up something on the way," Ikuto called back.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ**

A good half an hour later, Amu had composed herself. Still, she was fidgety about how her parents were going to react to everything, but she'd convinced herself not to worry too much. Now, she focused only on having a good time before her parents grounded her for life.

Seiyo seemed mysteriously grey, despite the fact that they were still in the middle of summer. The sun was nowhere in sight, obviously hiding behind one of the many clouds that loomed overhead. Yet, the clouds were bright. Though none of them bared that silver lining Amu was looking for, as she rode in the passenger seat of Ikuto's car.

"I love this car," she remarked, running a hand across the dashboard. She welcomed it as a comfortable reminder of the night she'd snuck out. It all seemed like ages ago, but still, Ikuto had been there for her ever since. And even as he started the car, she couldn't help but stare at him just a little.

Sometimes Ikuto didn't understand Amu. She said the strangest things. But a little light bulb turned on over his head, and he smirked. "You mean you love the person who drives it."

Amu shook her head at him, turning towards her window. "Thanks for your humility. You get ten points."

Ikuto chuckled, and then there was a break in conversation. Amu sighed miserably; here they were, making a right turn into her neighborhood. Soon they were surrounded by tall houses, leering at them as if to pry. It would be the understatement of the year to say that, in the current moment, she hated them. No, now she found it all… everything… _detestable_.

Amu's fingers tightened around her seatbelt. She clutched it until her hand was shaking, her knuckles white.

Ikuto observed this, but all he could do was drive. "You look nervous."

"I'm not." Of course, she denied it. She was always denying things. But then, a certain thought crossed her mind, and she found her grip on her seatbelt loosening. "Hey…" she sounded a little unsure of herself.

Ikuto made a left turn, slowly curving onto yet _another _street in Amu's never-ending neighborhood. He'd almost gotten lost in the maze the night of the concert, when he'd been trying to find her house. For a second or two, he'd almost forgotten she'd said anything to him at all. "Yeah?"

"I really appreciate it," she replied, as if in the middle of a sentence. Then, she back-tracked. "I mean, thanks for yesterday. For not judging me and stuff."

Ikuto reached up to adjust his rearview mirror. Not because it was crooked, but because he felt that he needed to distract himself. "No big deal." He responded with nonchalance. "Everybody's got a skeleton in their closet."

Amu just had to smile at that. "And _your _skeleton happens to be an obsession with sending your sister flowers."

"Well, when you say it like _that_…" He frowned a bit, noticing that all the houses in Amu's neighborhood seemed to look the same. They could've been going in circles for all he knew.

"But, really," Amu continued, rubbing her arm awkwardly. "Thanks for not kicking me out, and for letting me spend the night, and being willing to take me home, even though I don't want to go, and thanks for just _listening_, and…"

"You don't need to thank me for everything," Ikuto chuckled. "Otherwise, we'll be here all day."

She shrugged, looking out of her window. "Then… I'll just say thanks… for being you."

In the future, Ikuto would deny that those three words had any impact on him at all. But in the moment, he smiled a little. "So if I get ten points for humility, how many points do I get for _that_?"

Amu persisted to rub her arm, now going as far as to trace circles over her porcelain skin. Never, ever in her life had she remembered feeling so uncomfortable. She didn't want to leave him hanging, but also, Amu knew that lying had never gotten her anywhere in life. So… basically, as she sat beside him, cruising through the suburban neighborhood, she was fighting with her impulse.

"Amu," Ikuto shook his head. It was only like her to act this way. "You can't withhold points from me. That's not fair."

"That's my house," she pointed out, leaning forward and completely ignoring his previous comment. Maybe if she got away quick enough, only minimal damage would be inflicted. Right about then, that sounded dangerously good to her.

Ikuto decided to leave their little exchange behind, veering slowly to the left to park in front of her house. Perhaps his attempt was uncalled for. All he knew for sure was that, now that they had arrived, there was a big gaping hole where their conversation used to be.

Amu could feel it. She stole a quick glance out of the window at her house, and for a moment, it all seemed to welcoming to her. Part of her wanted to leave everything behind and run into her parents arms; they were probably worried. The other part of her, the majority actually, was telling her something completely different. So she decided to agree with it.

And Ikuto was no unaware. "Well, here we are. We might as well ge-"

His sentence was cut short by her impulse. If there was ever any doubt in his mind, about anything, it was gone now. The only thing that crossed his mind was that he wondered what Amu was doing kissing him, but it was only brief. He then decided to focus on the task at hand.

Amu, on the other hand, had been waiting to kiss him for what seemed like forever. She just hadn't known. But she felt it in the relief, the relief the washed over her as her lips collided with his. Maybe it was temporary, that was okay. She was unprepared for the psychological harm this would cause her, and frankly, she didn't care. She let her eyes close, and allowed her hands to travel up to his shoulders.

It might've been safe to say that this was _not _how Hinamori Amu expected to get her first kiss. And actually, it wasn'ther first kiss. But it was her first _real_ kiss.

And then suddenly, Ikuto pulled away. When he did, Amu retracted her hands, just blinking at them. This newfound absence of pressure against her lips was unsettling. Her face was bright red, but she neglected to even try to hide it. All Amu could think to do right then was to check her arms, inspect her fingertips, and feel her face… to make sure that she was okay, of course. And, surprisingly, she was.

"That was…" She struggled to find the right word. "… _Weird_."

Ikuto didn't know what to think. "… I agree." They then sat there, in her car, with the density of the awkward situation hanging in the air. "But," he continued abruptly. "You get fifty points for _that_."

She couldn't help but giggle, which made him smile. And then that smile turned into a chuckle, which made her laugh. And then _he _laughed.

So they just sat there, laughing. Laughing until their stomachs hurt. Laughing until tears formed at the sides of their eyes and they couldn't remember what day it was anymore. Not that it mattered. Because Ikuto had finally found what he'd been looking for, and Amu had realized what she never knew she had.

Happiness.

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>Haha, you guys didn't expect that, did you? Well, don't start complaining to me about how "it was out of the blue" or how "it didn't make sense for it to happen." Sometimes people just do irresponsible things, okay? They go out on a whim, and then realize that it was the best decision of their life :).<strong>

**Response to (no name): Actually, I didn't. My better half, Haruna-chan, did all the deleting. If you want, you can message our account, and she'll explain everything. It's sort of like a psychological thing for her... she was feeling cramped, so she deleted everything to make room for her new ideas. She doesn't like to be tied down XD.**

****Response to sarasaysrawr: Awww, I love it when I hear this. At first, I was so shocked at all the positive feedback I was getting, that I cried when I read my reviews. Now I'm just plain grateful. You guys are so good to me :3.****

******Response to xAmuIkuto: Haha, actually, I hadn't actually intended the "dear in the headlights" bit as the reference. I totally forgot about that song xD. As you predicted later on, it was actually the "spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly" from Vanilla Twilight. Yeah... I've been told that I'm really good at expressing emotion (not in my writing, but in my poem recitation and acting)... I haven't ever had anything tragic happen to me to pull all this sadness from, but I guess it's just 'cause I'm a feely-feely person, so I can sympathize and relate to someone _immediately_. Maybe that's it. Anyway, thanks. By the way, I've been meaning to ask you something... I'll PM you about it :).******

********Response to SnowXGoth: Well, I hope you didn't get in any trouble! I wouldn't want you to suffer extra punishment on account of me ;).********

**********Response to En ar Ciel: Oh, Gosh. I love your reviews. They're so amazingly detailed and just... GAHH. You're so nice to me :). But I totally agree... Usually, in the anime _and _manga, whenever Amu is in doubt, Ikuto shows up to cheer her up. But here, Amu kind goes looking for him. And non-ogre Tadase is refreshing. I hate it when people beat on him and make him soooo OOC just because they prefer Amuto to Tadamu. Haha, but still, you've got to admit that OOC characters are a little fun to read, even if it wasn't supposed to be funny. Ikuto: AMU, MY LOVE! THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGGS!1!1!2! :3**********

************Response to kittyallstars: Thank you. I tryyyy.************

**************Response to Chocolate covered charas: Hmmmm, you thought she was in a gang? Wow... that would've given this story a lot more character. I might write a little something like that in the future ;D. **************

****************Response to IkutoTsukiyomi'sGirl: You guys are killing me with all the affection here. I really don't deserve it.****************

******************I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT REPLYING TO EVERYBODY'S REVIEWS. There were really too many to handle. I'll try better next time, but it's been a long dayy... it's almost eleven o' clock where I live and I'm tired. *yawns & stretches* Goodnight, everyone! :3******************

******************~Kanon ;D******************


	22. Twelve Years

**Hayyyy, guess who it is? **

**DANG IT, HOW DID YOU KNOWWW? Anyway, can you believe how close we are to the end of this story? Eight more chapters left, believe it or not. Now, I've been debating this for a while, but I wanted to ask you guys... should I make a sequel? I mean, it would be nice just to leave the story the way it is, but I also want to add in some of that extra stuff that I know would be fun to write. What do you think?**

**-Kanon ;D**

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><p><strong>Tsubaki no Seikatsu... <strong>_The Life of Camellias_

**Chapter Twenty-Two… **_Ju ni-Nen: Twelve Years_

**Tags: **_awe, ramen, tatami, flinch, baseball, looks, bank-robbers, twelve years, stupid. _

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Amu was still in awe of it all, really.

How her parents had been so calm yesterday. She hadn't even gotten punished, even though she'd disappeared without telling them where she'd gone. It was all so… shocking. Let's recap.

First, Amu and Ikuto kissed. This was the climax of the day, in Amu's opinion. Then, they'd gotten out of the car and headed up to Amu's front porch. She was so nervous she felt like throwing up. She was never a troublesome child, so getting into trouble with her parents was a big deal. Amu had a house key all ready and waiting, but for some reason, she thought it would be better to knock on the door of her own home.

Moving on… Midori opens the door. She was tremendously stressed and tired, but you wouldn't have known it had not you been Amu. Amu always admired her mother for being so put-together. Not a single hair was out of place.

"_Amu?" _Midori seemed lost to an odd combination of confusion and relief. She smiled at her daughter briefly, then proceeded to look Ikuto up and down. Not in judgment, but in curiosity. She had no idea what was going on.

Next, Amu immediately threw herself into an apology. _"I'm _so_ sorry, mom." _she began. _"A lot of stuff happened yesterday, then I got lost on the other side of town, and then… Ikuto let me stay at his house."_

Ikuto was intrigued by the fact that Amu had the audacity to lie in this situation. But he thought she sounded sorry enough, so he let it go.

Midori's face proved blank for the next couple of seconds. Then, as if the cogs in her mind had come to a halt, she smiled again. _"Well," _she stuck her hand out to Ikuto. _"Thank you… um… what was it again?"_

Ikuto replied by accepting the offer to shake her hand. _"Tsukiyomi Ikuto. And it's no problem."_

"_Maybe not," _Midori had a certain calm to her voice. _"But I'm glad Amu-chan is safe."_

Amu blinked incredulously. Was this really happening? No yelling, no punishments? It couldn't be. _"Um…"_

"_Well, I've gotta get going." _Ikuto started up. Amu had to commend him for being able to read the atmosphere. _"See you tomorrow, Amu."_

Amu was a little confused. _Tomorrow? _Why would she be seeing him tomorrow? In any event, he began to leave. And that left Amu standing with her mother on the porch. Now, Amu was a hundred percent _sure _the punishment would come. She was just waiting for the hammer to come down. And Midori was ready to deliver the last blow.

"_I like him."_

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

Now that you're all caught up, we'll continue into said 'tomorrow'. Amu had totally forgotten about Ikuto's little promise until later that night, when he called her. He'd invited her to go out with him the next, asking her to pick the place. Amu had suggested a little ramen shop on his side of town. She could practically see him smile on the other end of the line. But he wouldn't tell her why. Even though it was a little secretive, she was okay with it. She was okay.

Now they were there. This ramen shop was one of Amu's favorite places for a couple of good reasons. The main one, today, was because it was always lively. Even as they entered through the doors, people were coming out and going in, talking and shouting at each other. Here, everybody knew one another. Amu liked that homey feeling, while at the same time she liked being able to fade into the background. If Amu had her way every once in a while, she would be a background person.

"I haven't been here in a while," Ikuto said, looking around at everything. The bar, the booths, the tacky kanji inscriptions in picture frames on the wall, every little detail.

Amu observed the tatami-covered floors, listening to the song that played through the speakers in the small restaurant. She'd never heard it before. "Me neither."

You see, things had gotten pretty awkward between Amu and Ikuto since they'd kissed. Maybe it was stupid and immature, but Amu was now a bit wary. She'd never been in this part of a relationship before. Even as they stood side-by-side, she could barely bring herself to look at him. It was too embarrassing. So she focused her attention towards a little blonde girl, perhaps her age, who was having it out with a big, burly guy behind the counter about her order.

Amu leaned towards Ikuto, whispering out of the side of her mouth, "What's _her_ problem?"

"I don't know." Ikuto shrugged, whispering back. "But I can only think of one person who'd argue over ramen."

"What?" Amu raised an eyebrow. _Wait… _She looked at the girl a little more closely now. It could've been anyone, really. Amu studied the inflection, the precise words, how the girl seemed to pause before shouting back at the counter guy…

"_How many times do I have to say it before you get it right?"_

"_Miss, you better watch who you're talking to!"_

"_God. And you wonder why you work in a place like this, earning fifty bucks a week!"_

Amu and Ikuto just stood there by the door, watching as the whole scene unfolded. Looking on as the big guy grabbed a bowl, complete with chopsticks, from the order rack behind him. Angrily, he spun around, and when he did, the blonde girl shrunk back a little, flinching as if she were afraid he would hurt her. Amu immediately recognized this as something similar to the 'batter wife flinch'. She knew where she'd seen this before. _That's…_

But before she could even get a word out, Ikuto beat her to the punch. Now, his voice raised a little louder than before, he called to the girl up at the counter. "Utau."

Immediately, blondey turned around, whipping her ponytail involuntarily. Amu was taken a little aback at first; the girl she was looking at had vivid green eyes, so far from sapphire that it was astonishing. But she overcame her shock, realizing that it was indeed Hoshina Utau standing before her. _She's probably just wearing contacts to disguise herself._

"Ikuto!" Utau's face lit up like the fourth of July. Much to the relief of the burly counter guy, she took her bowl of ramen and starting to head over to where Ikuto and Amu were standing.

"Hey, Utau." Amu lifted a hand to wave.

Utau stopped in front of the two, an uncharacteristic smile on her face. She was dressed like a baseball-player, completely with a cap and a jersey with a number on it. Amu thought it was rather funny, because Utau probably hadn't ever picked up a baseball bat in her entire life. How many little disguises like this did she have?

"What're you guys doing here?" Utau asked, her gaze shifting between the two. Her eyes landed on Amu, raising a perfectly-shaped blonde eyebrow, as if to point out that fact that they were together (Amu and her brother).

Amu nearly blushed, but somehow managed to avoid it. Ikuto, on the other hand, neglected to address his sister's little connotation. "We came to eat, obviously," he replied.

"Well, good." She broke into a grin. "Why don't you come sit with us?"

Amu was royally confused. "_Us_?"

Utau jerked her head towards the back of the restaurant, silently commanding them to follow her. She then turned on her heels and began to lead them through the maze of tables. Amu and Ikuto could do nothing but follow her, ignoring the bit of conversations that dizzied the air, meshing with the J-pop that was playing through the speakers. Amu found it amazing how Utau attracted absolutely _no _attention, even if she was poorly disguised. Everyone in the room seemed to be caught up in their own discussions.

Amu looked up at Ikuto. He seemed so in awe of everything around him, just like he had when they first walked in. She nudged him a little with her elbow, catching him off-guard. That was Ikuto for you.

"What's up?" she asked him, making sure to keep an eye on where Utau was leading them up ahead. But when the two made eye-contact, she sort of forgot about it. Amu had always loved the way their eyes looked, the Tsukiyomi's. They were like open books… but without words on the pages, if that made any sense.

When Ikuto saw the concerned look on Amu's face, he smiled at her. "My parents used to bring me here when I was a kid," he explained, ruffling her pink curls with his hand. "That's all. Don't worry about me so much."

Amu scowled. She'd put so much time into making her hair look perfect, and here he'd managed to screw it up in all of two seconds. But, before she could say anything about it, Utau came to a halt in front of a booth up against the wall in the back. Amu almost ran into her for lack of concentration, but she didn't have time to apologize for it. She was too caught up in the hazel-eyed boy who sat in the booth in front of her.

"Kukai-nii…?" Amu nearly gaped. There sat Souma Kukai, all clad in his soccer clothes, grinning at her like an idiot. He was definitely the same Kukai _she _knew, what with that messy bronze hair and stud in his ear… but he seemed a little different, somehow. Happier. _So this is 'us'. _

There were a couple of glances that passed between the four in the next few moments. Ikuto glanced briefly at Utau, who shrugged in response, looking at Kukai sweetly. Kukai then shook his head at Amu disapprovingly when he noticed that she was with Ikuto, who returned the favor by frowning considerably at Kukai. Amu rolled her eyes at how immature Kukai was being, and then exchanged a confused glance with Ikuto.

Utau then brought an end to all the looks by sliding into the booth beside Kukai, setting her bowl of ramen down in front of her. Amu gave up and went to sit across from him, leaving space for Ikuto to sit down next to her. And now silence hung in the air, despite the chatter of their booth neighbors and the quiet hum of the music buzzing in the background.

But it was only Kukai in the end who had the guts to say anything. "… So, I think this just made the list of top ten most confusing moments of my life."

"You have the audacity to be confused?" Utau asked, smiling into her bowl a little. "I saw this coming a mile away."

"Well, I wasn't emotionally prepared for it," he replied back, matter-of-factly.

_You have to commend them for trying to ease the situation. _Amu shook her head at them, realizing what horrible ice-breakers they were. "You guys bicker like Rima-chan and Nagi."

Kukai responded by smirking, while Utau asked, "Who?"

"Bank-robbers," Amu answered.

Kukai now broke into a chuckle, while Utau and Ikuto's faces twisted in befuddlement. Amu had to admit that, even though it was kind of sudden, she was enjoying this little get-together. It felt like she hadn't seen Kukai in ages, even thought it'd only been two days. And it was always good to see Utau, no matter how awkward the meeting.

Speaking of Utau, she now placed her hands on the table, leaning in to everyone. "Guess what?" she asked, though it seemed to be directly aimed at Ikuto.

"What?" A flash of a smile flashed across Ikuto's face. To Amu, he looked like he was pretending. Not feigning interest, of course, but pretending like he didn't already know what Utau had to say.

"I'm really close to a thousand paper cranes now," she said, her voice dripping with excitement. To any normal person, she wouldn't have seemed that interested, but Kukai, Amu, and Ikuto could all tell that she was looking forward to it. "I'm at nine hundred and eighty-six."

"Great," Ikuto leaned back against the booth. "It's been a long time."

Utau nodded, her face falling a bit. "Yeah… twelve years."

Ikuto blinked now, as if he were genuinely surprised. "It's been _twelve years_?"

Then, the table fell quiet again. Amu watched as Utau seemed to crumble into a million pieces, no doubt over the thought of her dad. _Twelve years since he disappeared, _Amu put it together in her head. But she wondered if Kukai understood what was going on, whether Utau had told him anything. It seemed like she had, what with how he reached out and held her hand. And Ikuto… he looked so lost. Like he had no idea how long it'd been before now.

All Amu could do was lay her head against his shoulder. It was the best thing she could do to let him know she was there. Of course, in a physical sense, but also in an emotional sense. Ikuto wasn't an emotional person, and Amu _knew_ that he would be okay, but it wouldn't hurt for her to be there for him.

But he seemed to snap out of his trance when he felt Amu against his shoulder. Perhaps it was because he didn't like being worried about, but either way, he decided to change the subject.

"So when are you hanging them up?" he asked his sister, undoubtedly trying to distract her from feeling bad.

Amu narrowed her eyes confusedly, straightening up in her seat once more. "You mean the cranes? Is that what you do with them?"

Utau smiled a little. "Well, yeah, stupid. You hang them up and _then _make a wish."

For a moment, Amu deeply longed to be offended by being called stupid, but since it was Utau, she couldn't possibly be. "… Oh."

Kukai grinned, letting go of Utau's hand. _They're such a cute couple! _Looking around the table, he couldn't help but rub his hands together as he asked, "So… who's up for a little ramen-eating contest?"

"I'm game." Amu gave in immediately. She was always good for a competition.

Ikuto sighed in faux exasperation. "Utau's gonna win, but… okay."

Utau made a face at him, sticking her tongue out. "I'll do it, but we may have a problem."

"What's that?" Kukai blinked.

"… It'll take the stupid guy forever to get our orders right."

**Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ **

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><p><strong>KYAAAA, KUTAU! What did you think? Do you like their little relationship? I do. ;D<strong>

**Response to DemonSlayer27: Aw, thank you. I really appreciate all the support I get from you guys. Every review brightens up my day (OMG that sounded cheesy XD). Thanks for letting me know how you feel.**

****Response to xxToxicMemoryxx: I know, right? I mean, I didn't want to put the kiss off again, and make you guys wait, so... I just threw it in there at the end. Oh, I'm sorry! There were really too many reviews for me to handle, on the last chapter. But I promise to try harder now! And, yes... all the other stories on this account were deleted, but not by me. It was Haruna-chan... she kind went through and got rid of everything. But I'm not upset. I mean, I understand why she did it. She's officially leaving FFN for good, so she was getting rid of all of _her _stories, including some of mine that I asked her to delete, so that i can have a fresh start without her. Hehe, did this chapter live up to your Kutau expectations? ****

**Response to cielmikitoaloislvr: Why, thank you. I tried to make it really light and fun... I've had too many angsty chapters lately :(. So, right now, we're taking a break from angst and getting on to some fun stuff... I think ;).**

****Response to sarasaysrawr: Really? Wow. I was _so _unprepared for how popular this story would be. Thanks for the review! :)****

******Response to Chocolate covered charas: Yeah, I'll totally write that story. But not any time soon, though. I still have this and "Seven Circles" to finish.******

********Response to xAmuIkuto: Haha, what's Amuto without the teasing? :D I'm sorry, but I don't think the end-paragraph of this chapter will live up to my previous endings... I was tired. By the way, thanks for helping me out with "Seven Circles," Nikki! I think it's gonna be a hit! :D********

**********Response to Ninja-bunny08: Well, thanks! And I'll update as quickly as I can, I promise. But... I must know the story behind your username. It's been tugging at me for a while, now.**********

************Response to En ar Ciel: Well, yes, I've been told that. I think I update so fast because I'm just excited as the readers to get the next chapter out their. Yeah... I love Amu as a character. You get to do so many fun things with her. One moment, she's yelling at the top of her lungs, freaking out over something minuscule, and the next, she's being overly lovey-dovey. YESSSSSS, I agree. Ikuto _is _always the one to kiss Amu, and I hate that whole "tonguus battling for dominance"-thing. Kudos to the person who made it up, but it's just SO overly used. And actually, I _am _writing a book. I'm in the middle of writing an "American-version" of this story right here. Where Amu's name is Amelia and Ikuto's name is Caleb. I hope to get it published soon.************

**************Response to Snow: Yet is exactly the right word :).**************

**************... PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT, EVERYBODY. **************

**************You all know Haruna-chan, my better half, right? Well, I'm sad to say that she will be leaving FFN for good in a few days. I'm in the middle of revamping my profile and making plans to write stories to take the place of the amazing ones she deleted. What I want to ask is, now that Haru-chan's gone, what should I change my penname to? I wanna keep the 'Kanon' in it, since everybody knows me by that name.**************

**************Say goodbye to Haruna-chan.**************

**************-Kanon ;D**************


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